


CRACKFIC AT HOGWARTS

by orphan_account



Series: Naruto and Harry Potter Crossovers (I really don't get it either) [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone is Queer, Gay, Gay Disaster Hatake Kakashi, Gen, I swear, Kakashi has a heart, Lesbian Haruno Sakura, Trans Hatake Kakashi, Triwizard Tournament, bisexual Ginny, he doesnt die thoug, i really said fuck canon didnt i, im lowkey attacking kakashi, poor man he keeps getting hurt, seriously kakashi is a disaster, seriously yall this is a crackfic, theyre all disasters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 42,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24812581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I honestly don't know what to do with this crackfic where Team 7 has to protect Hogwarts during the Triwizard Tournament. They go and pretty much act somewhat out of character and protect people and Kakashi gets captured a few times but oh wellI'm trying to post (weekly?) but it's hard, y'all. Give me any advice/edits you think of <3ABANDONED. SORRY YALL I MIGHT COME BACK EVENTUALLY BUT PROBABLY NOT
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Naruto and Harry Potter Crossovers (I really don't get it either) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904143
Comments: 14
Kudos: 119





	1. OMG ITS A MISSION

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! This is the first chapter (I already have like 13 done but I'll post pretty slowly because I can), as you can tell. It's the beginning, so it's a bit longer than the other chapters and it's not all that good (it gets better, I swear)  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/leshitposts please follow my tumblr im a dumbass who needs friends so :)

“You’re late AGAIN,” Naruto groaned as Kakashi leapt out of a tree, meeting Team 7 at the bridge. Naruto knew that he should be used to it, but he hated just waiting around for their sensei when they could be training! Or eating ramen!

“You’re only an hour and a half late today,” Sakura said, smiling. “You’re slowly getting better.”

“Maa, we can’t be too late for the Hokage.” Kakashi smirked as his team grinned up at him. Mention of the Hokage had caught their attention. “We have a new mission that he personally asked us to take.”

“Yeah!” Naruto jumped in the air as Kakashi began walking, knowing that the team would follow close behind.

When they reached the Hokage’s office, he had a grim look. 

“Hokage-sama.” Kakashi bowed down slightly, keeping eye contact. “What kind of mission are we going on?”

“A very long one. You will be gone almost a year. You’re going to protect a school- you remember when I told you about Hogwarts?” the Hokage smiled slightly.

“Of- of course I do, sir. But with all due respect, it’s a child’s tale.” Kakashi’s eyes widened as the Hokage stayed silent and the realization struck. “You’re not saying it’s-”

“It is real- Dumbledore-san over here is from there.” The Hokage gestured toward an old man in strange robes and glasses. “He is their headmaster. As far as we know, Dumbledore Albus is the most powerful wizard there.”

“Lemon drop?” he offered with a warm smile. But his face quickly darkened. “We are hosting something known as the Triwizard Tournament, and it’s incredibly dangerous. We need shinobi to protect the students- we cannot have our students dying.”

The old man- Dumbledore- smiled warmly again. He struck Kakashi as a very strange man, probably incredibly powerful under the old man act. Kakashi’s hand instinctively glided down to his kunai before he yanked it back to his regular position, arms crossed over his chest.

“What rank is the mission?” Sasuke asked.

“Technically, it should be an A-rank, or even S, as I’ve been told,” Dumbledore said. “But we need younger people- genin- to pose as students, and your Hokage recommended your team to me.”

“These genin will be on your students’ curriculum, sir?” the Hokage asked.

“That is right. We’ll figure out the logistics when the year starts. Now, if you four would like a few hours to pack and say your goodbyes, now would be the time.” Dumbledore smiled behind his glasses, his eyes staring into the souls of the young ninjas.

“Thank you,” Kakashi said, refusing to break eye contact as he took the scroll with more information and leaving with his team. He quickly read it over. “Naruto and Sasuke, bring weapons but conceal them. Sakura, you’ll mostly just need your healing supplies. All of you will need everything you usually need on missions, too. Meet me back here in two hours.”

***

Naruto ran to his small apartment, tossing his things into a bag and attaching weapons to himself. He thought about the mission. A year. A year! He’d never left the village for so long. He was excited, even though something at the back of his brain reminded him to be wary. Once he had tossed everything in his bag, he slung it over his shoulder and ran to find Iruka-sensei to say goodbye.

***

Sakura ran home, tossing everything she thought she might need- clothes, a hairbrush, etc., as well as a few healing scrolls and things, and she was startled when her parents walked into her room. She pulled them into a hug, telling them that this would be a much longer mission. Tears fell as she stepped out her window to rejoin her team.

***

Sasuke walked home and silently got his things together. He didn't have anybody to say goodbye to, so he just spent an hour laying on his bed, thinking. A whole year away from the village. He’d be stuck with the dobe, but he’d find a way to manage- Sakura would be there to help him punch the demon-kid if he got too annoying. He straightened things around his small place before locking the door and leaving to meet the rest of his team.

***

Kakashi got home and tossed some things into a storage scroll, humming as he re-read the third book in the Icha Icha series, which he had picked up to distract himself from the doubts he had about the mission. He laid down on his couch once everything was done, getting into the book for a couple of hours before remembering to meet up with his team. He sighed, leaping out the window.

***

Gai, Rock Lee, Iruka and Team 7 were waiting when Kakashi finally turned up, saying a quiet ‘yo’ as he walked up to the group. 

“My Eternal Rival!” Gai yelled, pulling Kakashi into a tight embrace. “I Will Miss You!”

“‘Kay.” Kakashi awkwardly patted the green-clad man’s back, pushing away as soon as he could. Gai planted a big kiss on Kakashi’s cheek over his mask, making him flush a deep red and stutter something unintelligible.

“Yes! Another Win For Me!” Gai smiled that shit-eating grin as Kakashi stood there, bewildered but not entirely upset.

“Huh?” 

“We Had A Competition To See Who Could Make The Other Blush First, Rival,” Gai said. “I Believe I Have Won That.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess.” Kakashi buried his nose in his book to hide the confused grin that had taken over his face. He should be mad that Gai had kissed him, but instead it made him feel almost warm and fuzzy. Almost. He’d find a time and a way to get back at him someday. Maybe he’d show Gai his face. That would be sure to fluster him. He remembered to focus on the mission and let Gai keep an arm around his shoulders, trying not to lean into his rival’s loose hug.

“Are you four ready to go?” Dumbledore asked, the warm smile staying on his face, his long robes billowing behind him.

“I think so,” Kakashi said, and his team nodded. Iruka kissed Naruto’s forehead before ruffling his hair. Naruto giggled, hugging the chunin and turning back to his team to leave.

“Hold on tight, and no matter what, do not let go,” Dumbledore said. Kakashi took his hand. “My, you have a tight grip.”

Sakura couldn’t help but smirk. Kakashi had a habit of asserting himself as the strongest one around, and crushing Dumbledore’s hand would be a good way to do that. Kakashi grabbed her hand and Sasuke grabbed hers, Naruto grabbing onto Sasuke’s at the end. Sakura suddenly felt a strange sensation- the air was getting sucked out of her lungs and she was spinning. Then it all stopped and they were in an alley. Naruto stumbled and fell, taking several seconds to reorient himself. Sakura stumbled, and she and Sasuke leaned on each other for support for a second before pulling apart and blushing. Kakashi stumbled slightly and shot a look at Dumbledore, who hadn’t even flinched.

“What the hell was that?” Naruto asked, sitting on the ground.

“Magic.” The old man smiled, offering no further explanation. “Anyways, we’re at the Leaky Cauldron. You four have a room upstairs and your supplies are all there. You’ll have to go to Madam Malkin’s to get fitted for robes and Ollivander’s for wands, though. I’ll be back here to collect you in a week.”

“Sir, wait,” Sakura called after him. “What language is everyone speaking?”

“Ah, I nearly forgot! I shall put a language charm on you so that you can speak English.” Dumbledore-san touched his wand to Kakashi’s forehead, mumbling something, and Kakashi bowed slightly to allow it. He shuddered slightly as some strange type of chakra came from the wand and into his head. Dumbledore placed the wand to Sasuke’s forehead, and he did the same. Sakura felt her brain do something strange- expand? No, that wasn’t it. She felt like an egg cracked and insane knowledge filled her mind. Naruto complained, stepping back and blinking a few times when Dumbledore put the wand to his head. 

“That was weird.” Naruto grinned. “Hey, I’m speaking a new language now!”

“You will still retain your previous language information, but you will be able to speak English for about a year before it begins to wear off. I’ll be back to collect you in a couple of days to go to Hogwarts.” Dumbledore disappeared with a pop, leaving Team 7 confused but amazed.

“Hello? Are you Kakashi?” a man asked from behind them. 

“Who are you?” Kakashi asked, whirling around and gripping his knife.

“I’m Tom. I keep the inn. I’ll take you four to your room?” the man offered, startled at Kakashi’s harshness.

“Yes, please, sir,” Sakura said, taking over before Kakashi could scare poor Tom any more than he already had. Kakashi gave her a look that was somewhere between annoyance, amusement, and gratefulness. Tom led them upstairs to a room with two beds.

“I’ll stay up and keep watch tonight. Something seems off,” Sasuke said as they stepped into the room.

“Sasuke-kun, I’m sure it’s fine,” Sakura said.

“Yeah, and do you plan on staying awake for the entire week?” Kakashi asked with a smirk. “We can’t go to the castle and have you completely useless.”

“If no one tries to attack us after the first couple of days, I’ll reconsider,” Sasuke said. “But something definitely seems off and I don’t want to be vulnerable.”

“I’m going on a walk to survey the area. It’s a good idea to know what we’re working with for now,” Kakashi said, standing.

“I’ll come,” Sasuke said, standing. He was set on exploring, proving himself to his team- protecting them- but Kakashi shot him down.

“No, you’re going to stay here and study with your teammates,” Kakashi said, pushing Sasuke to sit down with Sakura and Naruto. “You three can come to find wands and clothes later. Just stay here for now, okay?”

“Fine,” Sasuke said, his eyes shooting daggers at Kakashi as he opened the door. Kakashi slipped out the door, waving at his team one last time before leaving the inn, his book in one had, knife in the other.

***

Kakashi walked through the village. It was very dreary and grey compared to Konoha, and he heard whispers from all around. He knew that some would be about him- it was weird to have gravity-defying bright white hair, a mask, and ninja clothes here. Kakashi found everyone else's fashion choices questionable because dresses didn’t really work on everyone, but that was just his opinion. His hand kept twitching toward his kunai when people looked over and whispered, but he kept himself from freaking them out. He eventually deemed the village safe and made his way back to the inn.

***

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke sorted through the supplies they had been given. Sakura immediately went to start reading, and Sasuke followed her lead and started reading another. Naruto just paced and complained. A voice came from outside. All three looked up to listen.

“Where are they?” A man asked, his voice a hiss. They heard a whimper and someone got slammed against a wall.

“Room 4!” another voice squeaked. It sounded like Tom. Sasuke stiffened. They were in Room 4. He took out his kunai and motioned for Naruto and Sakura to do the same. The three stood there, ready as the door burst open. A man in a dark robe appeared, and he was holding a wand out. His face was covered, so they couldn’t identify him.

“Who are you?” Naruto asked. Sasuke had to admit, that was definitely the quickest way to go about identification, no matter how dumb.

“Stupefy!” The man yelled, pointing his wand at Sasuke. Red light flew out of it and Sasuke rolled out of the way. Who knew what that chakra could do?

“Okay, Mr. Stupefy, what are you doing here?” Naruto asked. The man had no time to answer, as he was taken down from behind, some blood coming out of his mouth. He screamed and fell unconscious, but he clearly wasn’t dead. Kakashi smiled at his team.

“Yo.” he walked in, kicking the man to the side so that he could close the door. 

“What’s stupefy?” Naruto asked.

“I think it’s a spell, which wizards and people here use to do something. Anyways, I walked around the village and things looked good- I think we’ll be safe enough. Let’s go get you three wands, we have time.” Kakashi smirked as his team grinned. Even Sasuke smiled a bit. “C’mon.”

The group walked down the streets, and Kakashi got about a million questions from the kids, but he had to answer all of them with ‘I don’t know.’

“Then what do you know?” Naruto asked.

Kakashi swiftly switched to Japanese.

“I do know that you three will be students, I’ll be a magic teacher, and we need to protect the castle we’re working in. Apparently it’s really big,” Kakashi said.

“Castle?” Naruto asked.

“A really big structure,” Kakashi explained. “We’ll have to learn the layout as quickly as possible. Ah, here we are.”

They were standing in front of a nice building, though it was old-looking. Kakashi stepped in first.

“Hello! We’re looking to buy wands?” Kakashi quickly made himself look friendly. Sakura wanted to throw up at the sugary tone and smile Sensei had put on.

“This is the place. All four of you first-timers?” An old man stepped up.

“Yes, sir.” Kakashi smiled, but you could only see it in his eyes, since you couldn’t see the rest of his face.

“Who’s first?” the old man asked. Kakashi stepped forward. “Ah, yes.”

The old man- Sakura assumed he was Ollivander- mumbled to himself as he went around the shelves, taking down a small box. He handed it to Kakashi. 

“Maple wood, Veela hair core.” Ollivander handed Kakashi the wand, instructing him to focus on the wand, maybe wave it around a bit. It did nothing. 

“Is there supposed to be something happening?” Kakashi asked, focusing harder. Sakura saw his hand glow slightly with chakra and prayed that he wouldn’t damage the wand. Blowing up the shop wouldn’t be good, either.

“Ah, that isn’t the right one.” Ollivander took the wand back, mumbling to himself as he grabbed another. “Reed wand, dragon heartstring core?”

Kakashi took it, though he looked slightly confused. Dragons aren’t real. And if they were, why on Earth would you take a heartstring to make a wand? Nonetheless, he waved it around. Bright green sparks flew out, and even Kakashi appeared surprised when Ollivander smiled.

Naruto went next, and he received a troll whisker core in a fir wand. 

Sasuke took a few tries before successfully using a thestral tail hair in a poplar wand. Kakashi made note to figure out what a thestral was, based on Ollivander’s stunned reaction.

Sakura was very difficult, and set fire to the desk with one wand before freezing her finger with another before finding a unicorn hair core with cedar wood that worked. The group paid for the wands before leaving, admiring their new magic sticks.

“It’s getting dark,” Kakashi mused. “When we get back, you three should get to bed. Tomorrow we’ll find you some robes.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They vibe at the inn and then finally get to the castle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my mind, Kakashi thinks of his students as his 'pups,' because he loves them like he loves his dogs. I saw it on Tumblr and fell in love with the concept.

When Team 7 found their way back to the inn, Naruto sat on one of the beds.

“I wonder what the castle looks like.” He grinned. “I bet it’s huge! I bet-”

“There’s a map in the scroll. Study it.” Kakashi threw the mission scroll at Naruto’s head, and Sakura and Sasuke leaned in close to get a good look as he opened it. “You three should probably get at least a bit of sleep. I expect you to spend all of tomorrow studying.”

“‘Kay,” Naruto responded, though he clearly hadn’t been listening. Kakshi smiled at his team. They were somehow getting along over the prospect of this whole giant castle. “It’s so cool that we can read English now, isn’t it, Kakashi-sensei?”

“Mhm.” Kakashi laid down on the bed where his pups weren’t studying the map, just relaxing. His students hadn’t ever seen him so relaxed. They snuck glances, all slightly confused but glad that their sensei had finally let his guard down around them. He closed his eyes, not to sleep, just to think. He heard his students discussing the map in the background, and he figured that he could just use his sharingan to memorize it when the time came.

“Kakashi-sensei, can we start learning spells tomorrow?” Naruto asked. Kakashi opened the eye that wasn’t concealed by his headband. 

“No. The scroll says that you can’t practice magic outside of the castle.” Kakashi didn’t even look over at the kids. “You three should probably get some sleep. We’ll study other things tomorrow.”

“Like what?” Naruto asked. 

“We’ll see tomorrow.” Kakashi rolled onto his side, facing the door and closing his eyes again, this time hoping to catch some sleep. He put a protective hand over his mask so that he would wake up if his students dared to try and pull it down and see his face.

***  
In the morning, Kakashi awoke to find Sasuke leaning against him. The boy was half-asleep, but still glaring at the door and mumbling to himself. His back was leaning against Kakashi’s waist, an arm resting on his legs. Kakashi smiled as he listened to Sasuke, who was softly rambling to himself about how to keep the team safe.

“If someone comes, I’ll jump up and- no, I’ll quietly-” he sighed, looking down at Kakashi’s face, and he quickly closed his eyes and slowed his breathing to seem asleep. “I’ll find a way to protect them.”

Kakashi could hear quiet fondness as Sasuke mumbled about his team to himself. His body had naturally curled around Sasuke slightly, and he realized that his hand was away from his face. But his mask had stayed on. Kakashi suddenly felt a surge of respect for his student, who had stopped talking and started humming a song Kakashi had heard only once before- when he was a kid.

“Good morning, Sasuke,” Kakashi said softly, only feeling slightly embarrassed by the way his voice was low and hoarse with the morning. Sasuke immediately stiffened and stood, his guard up.

“How long have you been awake for?” Sasuke demanded, turning slightly red. How could he have nearly fallen asleep against his sensei? He couldn’t show any more weakness than he already had. His team would realize just how weak he really was.

“A few minutes,” Kakashi admitted, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. “We should wake the others.”

“Yeah.” Sasuke nodded, though his face hadn’t returned to its regular colorless shade. Kakashi shook Naruto and Sakura awake, ready for the insults and complaints that immediately followed. 

“We’re going to shop for clothes and learn some spells today,” Kakashi said. The second part was a lie, but oh, well. Naruto’s eyes snapped open, but Sakura took a bit longer to get up.

Once everyone was awake, the group stopped by the bar to grab breakfast before going off to a store called ‘Madam Malkin’s Robe Shop.’ A short lady was sitting around, making random things fly around the store with her wand.

“Ah, customers!” She smiled. “Are all four of you getting fitted for robes?”

“Yep,” Kakashi said with a smile, stepping up and letting the lady wave her wand to wrap robes around him, fitting them and pinning them with flying pins. He was given dark olive green robes, because that was ‘his color’ or something. He opted to trust the lady, even if he was violently reminded of Gai.

The lady began wrapping robes around Sasuke, pinning them at different points. Sasuke flinched slightly at the touch and movement of the sharp pins, but stayed still nonetheless. He glared at the rest of his team as the lady handed him a pack with matching robes and cloak.

Naruto stepped up next, and he took slightly longer to get fitted as he refused to stop moving. He complained as pins went into the robe and poked his skin. Eventually, he was handed a robe much like Sasuke’s. 

Sakura silently stood still, letting the woman wrap a robe around her and measure her. The team left after Kakashi dropped some money on the counter. They dropped the robes off at their room before picking up their wands and a few books to study for the spells. They pulled their robes over their clothes so that they wouldn’t get so many weird looks, and began walking the streets. They found that the road ended with a patch of woods that they could work in, training for most of the day and finding ways to move with the robes. 

Over the week, they did the same thing- sleep in close quarters before running off to train. Eventually, Dumbledore came by to collect them.

“Follow me.” The group had tossed all of their things into bags and followed Dumbledore. “We’re using Floo powder to get to the school. Toss some of this into the fire and yell Hogwarts. Be sure you say it clearly.”

Dumbledore grabbed a pinch of powder and threw it into the flames. They turned green, and he stepped in, saying Hogwarts clearly. He sent a smile to the team before he spun into nothingness. Kakashi sighed, tossing powder into the fire and testing it by putting his hand into the flame. He deemed it safe and stepped in, saying Hogwarts exactly as Dumbledore had. He felt weird- he was spinning, and stepped out into a lavish room with lots of odd devices. He coughed out some soot and saw Dumbledore working ash out of his long, white hair. After a minute, Naruto came barrelling out, coughing and yelling Hogwarts over and over again with his eyes closed. Kakashi put his hands around Naruto’s torso, pulling him back. Naruto screamed, flailing.

“Who are you? Where am I?” A stray hand slapped across Kakashi’s face as Naruto flailed.

“Naruto, open your eyes,” Kakashi sighed. “We’re here.”

Sasuke came out of the flames next, calmly walking out. He smirked when he saw Naruto’s distress. After a minute, Sakura fell out of the fire, coughing and wiping soot out of her eyes. Kakashi gathered his pups close, helping them stay balanced. He finally took the room in. There were paintings all up and down the walls, and they were all moving. Kakashi noted that most of them appeared to be looking at him, quietly talking amongst themselves. There were also spirits floating around- ghosts, if Kakashi remembered the scroll correctly.

“They’re so young.” A disapproving voice came from behind. “We’re tasking the protection of the castle with a few teenagers?”

“This is Team Seven,” Dumbledore said, turning to the ninjas. “They are very skilled, from what I have heard. This is Minerva McGonagall. She’s the head of Gryffindor House and teaches Transfiguration. She’s also next in line to lead the school should anything happen to me.”

“And what are your names?” McGonagall asked. “And why do you all have knives?”

“We always have our knives,” Kakashi said. “They’re how we protect ourselves. I’m Hatake Kakashi. These are my students, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke.”

“Mr. Kakashi-”

“Just Kakashi. I’ll be co-teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts with… Remus Lupin?”

“Yes. I’m sure he’ll be more than pleased to meet you.” McGonagall’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. Kakashi wondered what he could have possibly done to annoy her so much. Maybe she was just like that. Maybe she thought it was his fault his students were so young.

“Now for the tour of the castle,” Dumbledore said quickly, walking out of the room and expecting Team 7 to follow. They did, more than happy to be rid of McGonagall.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi may or may not have a crush????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: I DO NOT SHIP KAKASHI WITH ANY OF HIS STUDENTS. He definitely cares about them deeply, but it is PLATONIC. I just want all of you knowing that. Kakashi/sakura or /sasuke or /naruto grosses me out. Anyway, let's goooooo

The group listened to Dumbledore’s words about the talking paintings, telling them the names and past lives of the artworks. They went up staircases that moved, and as Team 7 lost their balance, Dumbledore calmly waited for the stairs to finish moving. That was the first time all day that Kakashi had put down his book. 

Dumbledore took them first to where the students would be saying- the ‘common room’ for something called ‘Gryffindor.’ At the entrance, there was a painting of a lady who was asleep. 

“Pig snout,” Dumbledore said loudly. The woman awoke, and with a ‘right you are,’ the painting swung open. He showed them the boys’ dormitory, saying how the girls’ was just the same. They skipped the tour of it, though, and Kakashi made a mental reminder to tell Sakura to look for threats before sleeping. They passed by the library, where Sakura’s eyes lingered before they continued on their way.

The group made their way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts room, where a man with scars across his face sat at a desk, writing something that Kakashi couldn’t quite see. Kakashi imagined himself kissing each and every one of the scars lightly, listening to the stories behind all of them. He tried to control the blush that threatened to creep up his face. He just met this man, for crying out loud!

“You must be Lupin,” Kakashi said.

“Please, call me Remus. You must be Hatake.”

“Kakashi.” Kakashi furrowed his brow, confused. 

“I forgot to tell you, here, our names are different from ours. Our family names go after our regular names, whereas in Konoha, your family names go first.” Dumbledore smiled. It was starting to piss Kakashi off. There was no way he was always happy. Or constantly high. Kakashi thought that the second one wasn’t actually that far-fetched. 

“Okay, Kakashi.” Remus smiled warmly, shaking his hand. 

“...Yeah.” Kakashi shook his hand, turning to his students. His cheeks went red, and he was glad that he had his mask. He was generally good when talking to people, but his brain had just decided to turn off as Remus spoke. “Erm, this is Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.”

“I’m excited to be teaching you three and working with you,” Remus said politely, his gaze shifting between the students and Kakashi. Kakashi nodded, wanting to leave, but at the same time, he wanted to sit there with Remus forever. Dumbledore turned around with Team 7, leaving the small classroom. They went outside, and the team naturally huddled, coming close together as they realized that it was a lot colder than Konoha. 

“It’s cold,” Naruto complained. 

“It’s summer here,” Dumbledore responded. He waved his hand toward the trees that lined the field. “That is the Forbidden Forest. It’s very dangerous, so I expect you four to be careful, as I know that you constantly search for danger, much like some of my own students.”

There was a strange twinkle in Dumbledore’s blue eyes at the mention of his own students. Kakashi knew how it was to be so fond of his students and assumed Dumbledore was the same way. He explained some things outside, such as the lake with the giant squid, the Quidditch pitch, and the Whomping Willow. Kakashi liked the idea of the Whomping Willow.

Eventually, they circled back to the Gryffindor common room, and Dumbledore told them to study, since they had two days before students arrived.

***  
Team 7 spent most of the day with open books in the common room, trying to get spells to work.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” Sakura called, making a book fly. The trio learned the basics and studied the books until they were instructed to go to dinner. They sat at the table in the front of the ‘Great Hall,’ where there were lots of teachers. 

“Hello,” Kakashi said, waving with the hand not holding his book. His students had the sense to bow, keeping eye contact with Dumbledore.

“The formalities are unnecessary,” Dumbledore said. “Sit.”

He waved his wand, and chairs appeared. A man with a strange eye stared at Kakashi for a moment. The eye was bright blue and rested over his chest with a confused look. Kakashi knew that he wasn’t focused on the scrolls or weapons, especially with the confused look. He cleared his throat softly, meeting his gaze. The man looked away, embarrassed, glaring at Kakashi for a split second.

“This is Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha,” Dumbledore said to the table of teachers, gesturing toward each ninja as he spoke. “They make up Team 7. Team 7, you’ve already met Minerva McGonagall, but there’s Severus Snape, who teaches Potions, you’ve met Remus Lupin…”

They listened to the names of each teacher and what they taught. Kakashi could tell that most of them were uncomfortable around him. Maybe it was the book. Dumbledore clapped his hands, and suddenly, food appeared in front of them.

“Is it real?” Sakura asked as she watched teachers pile it onto their plates. 

“People here don’t know what genjutsu is, Sakura,” Kakashi looked over at his student, who still looked suspicious. He had taught her well.

“Of course it’s real. Help yourselves,” Professor Sprout, the ‘Herbology’ teacher, said. 

Team 7 hesitantly took food and put it on their plates. Kakashi waited until everyone was focused on eating before pulling his mask down for just long enough to eat his food faster than most civvies would think possible. Everyone except for his students looked at him in awe when his plate was suddenly empty. He swallowed the food, smiling with his eyes.

“Yes?” he asked. 

“He does that sometimes,” Sakura said, shrugging. “He’s weird about keeping his face a secret from us.”

“You’ve never seen under the mask?” Remus asked. 

“Nope! Trust me, we’ve tried. A journalist named Sukea even helped us! He’s really good at hiding it.” Naruto grinned. “But we’ll see eventually! Believe it!”

If only they knew.

***  
As dinner finished, Remus brought Kakashi to where they were staying, a small room off to the side of the DADA room. 

“It’s small, but it’s better than the classroom.” They were sitting in a cluttered room with two beds. 

“Maa, it’s nicer than my apartment back home,” Kakashi said. 

“Really? What was your apartment like?” Remus asked.

“Small. Messy. I live with dogs.” Kakashi smirked, knowing that it was more the whole ‘ninja who’s never home and has crippling depression’ thing than dogs that was keeping him from cleaning up. 

“I see.” There was an awkward silence.

“So… what are we teaching the students?” Kakashi asked after a few seconds.

“Spells, mostly. We’ll also teach them how to defend against different animals and magical things.” 

“Mm. Teach me some?” Kakashi hated asking for help, but it was the best way to get the mission done.

“Teach you?” Remus asked, confused.

“Spells seem complicated. I don’t want to destroy the castle in learning to use them,” Kakashi explained.

“Okay. Do you know anything?” Remus asked. Kakashi showed him wingardium leviosa. That was all he really knew, so he shrugged.

“We mostly use wandless magic,” Kakashi said to fill the silence. He was strangely nervous around the man. But it was different from when he was in a fight. It was almost a good nervous. That didn’t mean he was okay with it, though.

“An important one to learn is the disarming spell.” Remus stood, though he looked like he wanted to ask about the wandless magic. “Stand up.”

“Why do you need a disarming charm when you can just take their wand?” Kakashi asked, swiftly reaching out to take Remus’ wand. The man snatched it back, and Kakashi smiled.

“Just- I don’t know. It’s never crossed my mind. Anyways, you say expelliarmus.” Remus pointed his wand at Kakashi and his tone got stronger. “Expelliarmus!” 

Kakashi’s wand leapt out of his hand before he could stop it. He was also knocked back slightly. Remus picked up Kakashi’s wand, handing it back to him. Kakashi turned red. How could some man without any physical training get his wand like that?

“Now you try.” Remus stepped back, holding his wand up for Kakashi to take.

“Expelliarmus!” Kakashi said, pointing his wand at Remus. His wand slipped slightly, but nothing big happened. “Expelliarmus!” 

Remus’ wand came out of his hand, and the man smiled. Kakashi couldn’t help but smile back. They spent most of the evening and night learning basic spells to use in combat. Eventually, they had the sense to get some sleep, but Kakashi felt very accomplished.

***  
Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke made their way back to the Gryffindor common room, where they were greeted by lots of red and gold. 

“Wonder how Kakashi-sensei’s doing,” Naruto said absently.

“He’s probably fine.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I just hope he remembers to come to breakfast.”

“Yeah. Hey, I wonder why we aren’t using our radios?” Sakura wondered. “We always use them for missions.”

“The scroll said that they don’t work around magic,” Naruto said. Sakura and Sasuke gave him amazed looks. “What? Are you surprised that I paid attention?”

The other two nodded.

“I’m going to bed! You two are crazy! I’ll beat you in something one day, believe it!” Naruto trekked up the stairs to the boys’ dormitory, shedding his jumpsuit and climbing into the bed he’d claimed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning spells! Learning about students! And maybe Remus likes Kakashi back...?

In the morning, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura (who had opted to stay in the boys’ dorms with her teammates) were shaken awake by Kakashi, who had been awakened by Remus. After some complaining, they got dressed and made themselves look presentable for breakfast. The teachers were discussing the students that were coming back the next day, and so Team 7 listened quietly. Often, silent listening was the easiest way to get information.

Then, the subject of the Triwizard Tournament came up. Apparently, the ‘champions’ would have to steal an egg from a dragon, then find someone to dance with a couple of months later, then do something underwater, then go through a maze. Kakashi thought that the second one sounded the hardest. There would also be students from a school called ‘Beauxbatons’ and another called ‘Durmstrang.’ Kakashi made mental notes of everything he heard, and by the end, he thought that he had a pretty solid understanding of the Tournament. 

As soon as breakfast was over, Team 7 made their way to the Forbidden Forest so that Kakashi could teach them spells. They pretended not to notice the fact that Alastor Moody- or ‘Mad-Eye,’ as everyone seemed to call him- was following them. 

“You three need to learn to disarm someone with your wand. You have to… point it at someone and just say ‘expelliarmus’ and their wand goes flying.” Kakashi pointed his wand at Naruto, saying the spell and catching his wand as it flew out of his hand. “Naruto, you try to take my wand. Sakura and Sasuke, you two disarm each other.”

Cries of expelliarmus went back and forth until the students got it. Sakura was the first to get it, and Sasuke’s wand just dropped to the ground. He picked it up, pointing it at Sakura and saying the same thing the same way. Her wand dropped, and Sasuke smirked. Naruto focused and pointed his wand at Kakashi, yelling the spell and cheering as Kakashi’s wand dropped to the ground.

“Next is Stupefy. It knocks the other person out,” Kakashi said bluntly, pointing his wand at where Mad-Eye Moody was watching. “Stupefy!”

The man swore loudly before the team heard a soft thump. They walked out to where Mad-Eye was laying on the ground. 

“What a nuisance,” Kakashi said, kicking him lightly. “Anyways, that’s what the spell does. Try to do it to each other.”

Sakura was the first one unconscious, after Sasuke had swiftly performed the spell. Naruto pointed his wand at him and angrily yelled ‘stupefy,’ and then two team members were out. Kakashi fed chakra into their heads to wake them up, and Sakura tried the spell on Kakashi, who had to grab a tree to balance. She frowned and tried again, and Kakashi nearly fell, grabbing a tree branch for stability.

“If I was a normal person, I’d definitely be out by now,” Kakashi said weakly, leaning on the tree and smiling proudly at his students. “Next is accio.”

Kakashi chucked a kunai knife up high into a tree. He did the same with two other trees and knives before turning back to his students. 

“Now what?” Naruto asked.

“You could get them by just walking up there, but now you have to say accio kunai, since you’re getting the knife. Watch. Accio rock!” A rock flew into Kakashi’s hand, and he caught it with a smirk. “Try.”

“Accio kunai,” all three students called at the same time. The knives stayed in the trees. While they worked, Kakashi looked for Mad-Eye. He was nowhere to be seen, so Kakashi assumed that he had gone back to the castle. The students took a few minutes before the knives flew into their hands. 

“Magic is weird,” Naruto said. “It’s basically chakra in a stick!”

“You’re… not wrong,” Kakashi said with a smirk. “They’ll probably get suspicious if we don’t show up to lunch. C’mon.”

The team left the Forbidden Forest and walked into the castle, somewhat beaten up. They made their way to the table, where they sat and quietly ate while the teachers talked.

“You’ve got leaves in your hair,” McGonagall said suddenly, making a disgusted face and pointing her fork at Kakashi. 

“Okay.” Kakashi ran a hand through his spiky hair, and a few leaves fell out. “Now I don’t.”

McGonagall took a deep breath, nodding and sighing. She was obviously really close to punching him in the face, but Kakashi ignored her. Her punch probably wouldn’t even hurt, anyways.

“We should get back to training,” Kakashi said, standing up to break the tension.

“Wait.” Dumbledore watched Kakashi closely. “Tomorrow, the students are coming. Your students will sit at the Gryffindor table, over there, during meals. You four will have to be subtle about going into the woods, as I know that I cannot stop you entirely. We can’t have other students asking questions.”

“Yes, sir.” Kakashi stepped away from the table. “Is that all?”

“Yes. We’ll give you the rest of the information at dinner tonight.” Dumbledore dismissed everyone. Kakashi and his students decided to explore the castle and really get an idea of the place they were protecting. Kakashi knew that Dumbledore hadn’t given them the entire truth- there had to be some part of the massive castle they hadn’t seen. There were more talking paintings. They mostly just talked to each other, but there were a few instances where one called out to the ninjas. Kakashi’s foot fell, and he recalled what Dumbledore had said about missing stairs.

“What-” He looked down, and sure enough, his foot was in the stair. “The hell?”

Kakashi pulled his foot out as his team caught up.

“Kakashi-sensei! What happened?” Sakura asked, placing a hand on Kakashi’s back to help steady him.

“Step over that stair,” he said. Suddenly, a half-human thing appeared. Kakashi sighed. There were so many surprises. It looked like a ghost, or at least a spirit, but Kakashi was weary. Then the ghost-thing started singing an ugly tune about the ninjas, insulting Kakashi’s mask, Naruto’s clothes, Sasuke’s frown, and Sakura’s forehead.

The spirit-thing cackled at their confused expressions and flew off. Soon enough, another ghost followed behind, yelling obscenities at the first. Team 7 watched them before continuing.

“What was that?” Naruto asked no one in particular. Team 7 began walking up the rest of the staircase, careful of disappearing stairs.

They passed by classrooms and more classrooms. The castle was insanely big- so much larger than the Academy. They looked at the map, following it to different rooms and areas, constantly vigilant of disappearing stairs and flying spirits.

Eventually, they found an area where Kakashi found it hard to breathe. Kakashi couldn’t tell what, exactly, it was, but it seemed to affect him just as much as his students, even through his mask. It made sense- his sense of smell was much stronger, but it was also hot and stuffy. There was suddenly a painting that called out to the ninjas.

“Do you brave soldiers dare to trespass on my land?” A small painting challenged them.

“Nah, we were just about to leave,” Kakashi said. “Right?”

“Yeah.” Sakura nodded, turning on her heel and leading the team out of the hall and away from the smell, heat, and painting.

“But-”

“We could destroy you in an instant,” Sasuke said, smirking and crossing his arms. “Your painting would be gone and you’d be dead.

“Ah, yes, but in a fair duel? You would be down in a matter of minutes!” The knight waved his sword dramatically. “Beaten by the strong Sir Cadogan!”

Sasuke scoffed as he followed his team.

“I’ll be back to challenge you!” Naruto called as he ran to keep up with his team. “And I’ll beat you, believe it!”

The knight, Sir Cadogan, called after the group. They didn't stop as they made their way off to the Great Hall, ready for new information.

“Ah, you’re here,” Dumbledore said, smiling. “We need to discuss the students.”

Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke exchanged looks before looking up at Kakashi.

“‘Kay.” The sensei had already sat down. His students followed suit, waiting for the other teachers to begin eating before they did.

“They’re coming tomorrow afternoon, you should be more concerned. You’ve never taught before,” McGonagall said, scolding Kakashi.

“I’m sorry?” Anger flashed across Kakashi’s visible eye for only a split second before he went back to his usual neutral expression. “These are my students. I think I know how to teach.”

“That hardly counts,” McGonagall scoffed. Kakashi stayed silent but watched her reproachfully. “Anyways, please continue, Albus.”

“Thank you, Minerva,” Dumbledore said, ever the voice of calm reason. “I think it’s important to address the fact that there will be extra students. Once the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students get here, the castle will be more full than it has been in hundreds of years.”

Oh, joy, Kakashi thought. Even more teenagers than necessary!

“Will we still have time to train and discuss plans?” Sasuke asked. 

“Likely. You’ll get your schedules tomorrow. You have classes for most of the day, but the weekends will be free,” Dumbledore said, intertwining his fingers.

“We’ll also have class time to discuss,” Kakashi said when his students looked concerned.

“No, you don’t. You four will focus in class,” Remus retorted.

“Okay, Remus,” Kakashi said softly, smirking when Remus blushed and muttered something about ‘damned bottoms.’ 

“You should get as much sleep as possible. Tomorrow’s a big day,” Dumbledore said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it gets way more interesting, trust me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can't sleep. That's it. Oh, and McGonagall still hates Kakashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I SAID THAT I WOULD UPDATE SLOWLY. But for some reason, all of you are reading this!! I'll try and get a few more chapters edited and posted today. Feel free to tell me what you think should happen, but I have lots done, and I think y'all are gonna like it.

Kakashi laid awake in bed, listening to Remus’ soft breathing in the bed across the room. What’s it like to trust people so easily? he wondered. He knows that I could murder him in an instant- he’s seen my weapons. 

Kakashi decided that he wouldn’t be getting any sleep. He took a few weapons and slipped out of the room. He made his way to the Whomping Willow. Dumbledore had spoken of its danger. Kakashi thought it sounded fun- a giant tree after your life. Why not provoke it? He sighed when he saw someone else there. He instantly recognised the raven hair and blue shirt. He watched his student- he’d been doing that a lot recently; just observing. He watched the way Sasuke’s arms and legs moved. Most people wouldn’t be able to comprehend the insane speed that ninjas moved at. Kakashi could see everything perfectly well as the boy dodged the tree branches. He didn’t cut any off- which was smart. Kakashi watched each movement Sasuke made for a few minutes.

“Your form needs work,” he drawled. Sasuke immediately stiffened, turning around.

“Kakashi-sensei. What are you doing out here?” he asked, his voice tight.

“Same as you,” Kakashi responded, still standing just out of the tree’s reach. “Can’t sleep.”

“Mm.” Sasuke flipped out of the way of a branch. His movement had gotten a lot cleaner after realizing that he was being watched. Kakashi watched for another few minutes as Sasuke tired out. 

“How long were you out here before I came?” Kakashi asked. He was trying his best to get his team to talk to him more, and he figured asking questions would be a good way to do just that.

“Hn.” Sasuke ignored Kakashi and jumped onto a branch as it swung at him. He missed his footing and was knocked away. Kakashi stepped out of the way as he flew through the air, swearing. He came to a stop a few feet past Kakashi. The jonin stood over him, frowning.

“How long has it been since you last slept?” he asked, and Sasuke glared at him, standing up and trying to walk away. “Sasuke, how long has it been-”

“What’s it mean to you?” Sasuke asked, making his way back to the tree. 

“Nothing,” Kakashi lied. “I just need to know why you’re moving so slowly. You’re much better than that usually.”

“Four days,” Sasuke mumbled.

“Four days,” Kakashi repeated. “Sasuke, you can’t just not sleep. You may be a shinobi, but you’re still human.”

“Stop distracting me.” Sasuke ducked right as a branch threatened to practically behead him. 

“Sasuke, get down,” Kakashi ordered. His tone of voice commanded respect, but Sasuke ignored him. “Sasuke, listen to me.”

Kakashi sighed and leapt into the tree, wrapping an arm around Sasuke’s waist and leaping down. He pinned his student’s arms behind his back.

“You’re an idiot,” he grumbled. Sasuke had made him put down Icha Icha. Sasuke struggled against the strong grip. 

“Who are you really?” Sasuke asked, slamming his foot into Kakashi’s crotch. His sensei only flinched a little bit, and Sasuke frowned. Kakashi really was invincible, huh? No, definitely an imposter.

“I’m Hatake Kakashi,” he said simply, continuing when Sasuke didn’t look satisfied. “You’re Uchiha Sasuke, you have the Sharingan, which you’re still working on utilizing, and you want to kill-”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Sasuke said loudly. 

“Go back inside and get some sleep. Tomorrow’s a big day.” Kakashi let go of Sasuke, and the student trudged back inside, and Kakashi followed him. He felt bad for the kid- no, he didn’t feel sorry for his student. He just… related to him and knew that no one should ever go through what they had both gone through. He didn’t feel bad for him at all. He watched as the teen walked to the Gryffindor common room, muttering the password to the painting. Sasuke definitely knew that Kakashi was there- he was ignoring him on purpose. Kakashi sat by the fireplace, waiting for Sasuke to make his way upstairs to sleep. 

After about an hour, he made his way upstairs to check on the kids- they weren’t his kids. They were the students he’d been forced to teach but now happens to kind of care about. He smiled fondly when he saw Sasuke fast asleep, chest rising and falling slowly. Naruto was snoring- no surprises there. He made his way to the other side of the common room and stepped on the stairs. Sakura had transferred her things to the girls’ dormitory. The stairs smoothed out, turning to a slide. Kakashi grumbled as he fell back down. He jumped to the top of the stairs, letting himself into the dorm. He found Sakura studying a book, her wand lit up.

“And what are you doing up?” he asked, leaning against the door. 

“Nothing,” Sakura said, moving her arm so that her wand lit up the room. “What are you doing up, Sensei?”

“That isn’t for you to worry about. It’s late. Tomorrow’s one of the biggest days of this mission. You should have gone to sleep hours ago.” Kakashi stepped toward Sakura.

“I can’t sleep, Sensei,” Sakura responded.

“At least try,” Kakashi said, taking the book, ruffling Sakura’s hair, and walking away. She muttered something, and her wand light extinguished. The moon lit up the room just enough that he saw his student lay down under the covers and close her eyes. He took the spot he had previously taken by the fire after quickly surveying the room. He fell asleep relatively quickly knowing his students were safe.

***  
Remus couldn’t find Kakashi. Maybe he’s already gotten up and made his way to the Great Hall? He decided that that must be the case. He stretched and made his way to where a few teachers were already seated.

“Where’s Team 7?” Dumbledore asked when Remus came up.

“I don’t know. Kakashi wasn’t there when I got up, so I assumed he’d already made his way here,” Remus said.

“Would you mind checking the Gryffindor dormitories for his students?” Dumbledore asked.

“I’ll go, too,” Minerva said. “It’s safer to have two people.”

“You still don’t trust Kakashi,” Dumbledore said in a disapproving tone.

“Albus, he carries multiple knives everywhere and always hides his face. It’s possible that his students are also dangerous,” Minerva responded, following Remus out of the Great Hall. They made their way to the Gryffindor common room, Remus walking with a relaxed stance and McGonagall clearly on edge, with her wand out in front of her. She gave the password, and the Fat Lady opened up, letting them into the common room.

Kakashi was asleep in a chair by the fire. His students were likely asleep in the dorms. A quick check by Minerva confirmed the theory.

“Good morning, Kakashi,” Remus said with a smile. The man immediately sat up, hand reaching toward his leg, where his knife sat.

“Petrificus totalus,” McGonagall shouted when she noticed the knife.

“Now, is this really necessary?” Kakashi asked as his entire body snapped together and he fell back against the couch.

“You can still talk,” McGonagall said in awe. “Most people-”

“Finite,” Remus sighed, pointing his wand at Kakashi as all three of his students came out of their respective dormitories, knives in hand. 

“Sensei, what are you doing here?” the blond- Naruto, if Minerva was remembering his name correctly- asked. Out of the three students, he seemed the most like a normal kid.

“Nothing,” Kakashi said with a small smile at his student. 

“Let’s get you four to breakfast. You need the full briefing on what’s happening this afternoon,” Remus said, turning on his heel. Minerva followed him, casting one last suspicious glance at Kakashi. Kakashi followed them out, protectively wrapping his arms around his students as they came to his side. He had never acted so close to them, but he had no idea what was in this brand new environment. He wouldn't be able to bear it if his students got hurt- or worse.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More preparations... I promise, the students are coming soon!!

Everyone met up at the Great Hall, where teachers were talking; a low murmur that stopped as the ninjas walked up to the table.

“Ah, yes. You’re here,” Dumbledore said. Minerva still hadn’t put down her wand, even when Dumbledore gave her a small nod, indicating that it was safe. Kakashi looked at his teammates- what could possibly look threatening about his team? Sakura was smiling as she sat, silently fidgeting with her fork. Naruto was watching the teachers closely, squinting and leaning towards them. Sasuke still hadn’t sat down, glaring at McGonagall with his hand near his knife. Ah. That was the issue.

“Don’t scare the clients,” Kakashi muttered in Japanese, and Sasuke acted like he was relaxing, though he was clearly still ready to strike at any moment. Kakashi hoped that the teachers were dumb enough to not notice the way Sasuke’s arm stayed tense. He got lucky; McGonagall’s wand arm fell to her side. Food appeared on the table, and everyone began eating.

“As you know, this afternoon, when the students arrive, you three students will sit at the Gryffindor table.” Dumbledore pointed to a table. “You may talk to the students; Gryffindor House will be your new family.”

“Fat chance,” Sasuke grumbled in Japanese.

“Manners!” Sakura responded, slapping his arm.

“Kakashi, you will need to stop finding your way into the kids’ dorms- it will seem suspicious, and students don’t want their teachers in their business,” McGonagall said with a small smile.

“Ah, so that’s where you were,” Dumbledore said, a twinkle in his eyes. “Yes, that cannot happen again.”

“That means you have to stay inside, too,” Kakashi said to Sasuke. 

“I’ll be stealthier next time,” Sasuke grumbled.

“Good.” Kakashi smiled warmly, but Sasuke just scowled. No surprises there. Everyone ate quietly as Team 7 discussed softly in Japanese.

“Meet us here at lunchtime and we’ll give you the rundown for the student arrival,” Dumbledore said as Kakashi stood to leave with his students.

“They’re inseparable,” Remus noted once the team left. “They never leave each others’ sides.”

“It is how they live life,” Dumbledore responded. “Their world is very different from ours. Sticking together is a survival instinct.”

“They’re only kids,” McGonagall sighed, shaking her head. “It’s horrible.”

“Ah, but the teacher is very strong,” Dumbledore said. His tone turned grave. “I saw his files. He’s gone on more than a thousand missions and has killed over a hundred people.”

“Killed-” McGonagall leaned back in her chair. “He’s as bad as You-Know-Who.”

“Oh, my,” Professor Sprout said. 

***

Kakashi brought his students to the Whomping Willow, where he leapt onto a branch. Five branches flew his way. Without looking up from his book, he leapt out of the way.

“Your turn,” he said, smiling as his students leapt into the branches. Sasuke moved the fastest- greatly improving from his sleep-deprived self. Naruto kept getting extremely close to getting whacked out of the tree, and Sakura was staying close to the slower branches.

“Kakashi, are you sure this is-” McGonagall was quickly walking out, concerned for the students.

“They’re not hurting it,” Kakashi said, keeping his nose buried in his book.

“Put the book down and talk to me,” McGonagall said, placing a thin hand on the page. Kakashi sighed and looked up.

“Yes?”

“The tree’s gonna kill them!” McGonagall shouted. Naruto yelped as he was hit in the stomach by a branch, launching him fifty feet. McGonagall ran to him as Kakashi sighed and turned back to his book. 

“You were too slow, Naruto. Get back up.” Kakashi glanced at him, quickly assessing his state. He was fine. A bit scratched up, maybe a few bruised ribs, but he was fine.

“How can you say that?” McGonagall asked as she put a hand on his chest. “Just lay down. We’ll get you to the hospital wing.”

“Hospital?” Naruto asked, jumping up. “No! I’m strong! I don’t need help, old lady!”

And with that exclamation, he jumped back up, pushing past the teacher. 

“Naruto, what did I tell you about reminding people of their age?” Kakashi asked. At this point, McGonagall was fuming.

“Be careful, they could have a knife behind their back!” Naruto laughed, leaping out of the way of another branch aimed at him. “But when I become Hokage, I’m not gonna act all old and boring! Believe it!”

“Dobe, you’ll never be Hokage,” Sasuke said from a high branch.

“Neither will you! You were a missing-nin for-”

“Naruto!” Kakashi yelled. “Realize what you’re saying.”

“Sorry, Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto called. “I’ll stop giving away classified information.”

“Good.” Kakashi smirked.

“I came out here to tell you that you’re late for lunch,” McGonagall muttered.

“Ah, yes,” Kakashi said. “Lunchtime!” 

His students jumped down the branches, and as they got closer, the sweat and scratches on the students became more noticeable.

“You three need a shower before the students get here,” McGonagall said, wrinkling her nose.

“Oh, come on!” Naruto yelled. “We’re not that bad!”

“It’s all you, dobe,” Sasuke muttered, and Sakura giggled.

“They’re fine,” Kakashi said.

“You can’t smell them?” McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course I do; when do teenagers ever smell ‘fine?’” Kakashi asked. “It’ll be masked by all the other kids.” 

He looked back at his book, reading Icha Icha. He smiled to himself. He had managed to keep his enhanced sense of smell a secret, and didn’t plan on telling McGonagall or his students. He was just glad that his mask made the scents less overwhelming.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally meet the students

Kakashi found himself sitting at the teachers’ table, waiting for the students. His three were sitting at the Gryffindor table, and Kakashi so badly wanted to go talk to them; to make sure they knew what they were to be doing, make sure they were okay… He settled with burying his face in Icha Icha after making eye contact and smiling at his team.

“What’s that?” Mad-Eye asked, his weird eye swivelling around to look at the book.

“My book,” Kakashi said, not giving anything away. Mad-Eye could see through things with that eye, then he could almost certainly see what Kakashi was reading- thank goodness the page he was on didn't have pictures- but couldn’t read it.

“What’s it say?” he grunted.

Kakashi started reading it out in Japanese, maintaining eye contact, even though he felt his face begin to burn up. Even though Mad-Eye had no idea what he was saying, Kakashi died a little bit on the inside with each word.

“In English,” Mad-Eye insisted.

“It’s not written in English,” Kakashi replied, forcing himself to keep his tired and aloof stare. 

“Mph.” Mad-Eye took a swig of the bottle he carried around with him. 

“Saved by the bell,” Kakashi muttered as a crowd of teenagers walked in. They filed to each table. Kakashi wanted to activate his Sharingan to study the students’ features more closely, but he knew that he would have to conceal as much of his ability as he could. Plus, he wasn’t about to waste chakra on studying students.

***

Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked to the Gryffindor table, their regular seats taken by new kids. One had spiky black hair, one had spiky yellow hair, and the last had uneven pink hair. Hermione led her friends to sit by them.

“Hello. Are you new here?” she asked. The blond one opened his mouth to reply, but the pink-haired girl interrupted.

“Yes. We’re exchange students, so we’ll probably only be here this year.” The girl reached out to shake Hermione’s hand. “I’m Sakura. This is Naruto, and this is Sasuke.” 

“Hermione Granger. This is Ron Weasley and Harry Potter.” Hermione responded, shaking her hand.

The Sorting happened soon after their introductions, and Hermione watched as the exchange students watched eagerly, well, except for the black-haired boy. He leaned back in his seat, staring blankly at the teachers’ table. Didn’t they have something like it at their school? A Sorting ceremony?

Dumbledore began giving his spiel on the year starting. Hermione had heard it three times before, but she still listened, her interest first piqued at the concept of new teachers. The DADA teacher- Professor Lupin- had surprisingly gotten to stay.

“We have Alastor Moody as an Auror to help protect the school,” Dumbledore said. The man stood, and Hermione couldn’t help but notice his eye, though she ignored Ron when he leaned over to whisper something about it. “If you would like to introduce your-”

“I promise to keep all of you safe. Know that it would be poor to cross me,” he said, sitting back down. His eye swivelled around as he studied the students. 

“Now, our other additions are Professor Hatake and three of his students from his school. If you four would stand, that would be appreciated. Anyways, I expect all of you to respect them,” Dumbledore said, his blue eyes shining over the crowd. He turned his gaze to the man that stood up at the teachers’ table. “Introduce yourself.”

“I’m- er- Professor Hatake, and my students are staying with the Gryffindors. I’m teaching all of you Defense Against the Dark Arts with your teacher Remus Lupin.” Hermione couldn’t help but stare at the strange man. He had a mask on, and a headband covered one eye.

“Wonder if he’s missing an eye,” Ron muttered before the teacher finished awkwardly.

“Er- yeah. That’s all.” Professor Hatake’s hand twitched toward a strange knife that was attached to his leg, and he sat. Naruto grinned and gave him a thumbs up, and he smiled back- or at least Hermione thought he did, it was hard to tell with the mask.

Dumbledore kept talking, and eventually the words ‘Triwizard Tournament’ came up. It was something she’d read about in books. It was extremely dangerous and lowkey terrified her.

“Dig in,” Dumbledore said as food appeared at each table. His words were met by an explosion of chatter.

“Woah. The Triwizard Tournament! It hasn’t happened in two hundred years!” Ron said in awe.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Dumbledore was still around for that one!” Naruto laughed. “Crazy old man!”

“Don’t disrespect Dumbledore like that,” Harry said threateningly.

“He’s right. That old bastard’s strong. Plus, he’s our client,” Sasuke said, glaring at Naruto.

“Old bastard,” Naruto snickered.

“Who are you calling a bastard?” Ron asked.

“They’re not,” Sakura lied.

“I learned swear words in fifteen languages just to piss off my mom. You definitely just said bastard in Japanese,” Ron insisted, piling chicken onto his plate.

“We’re talking about this teacher from our school back at home,” Sasuke said, taking some food.

“Yeah, that old perv,” Naruto giggled. “Always watched girls in the showerhouse. Said it was ‘research.’”

“What was his name?” Hermione asked, clearly mad. 

“Jiraiya-sensei!” Naruto laughed. “Did you know he actually wrote Kakashi-sensei’s books? He tried to teach me how to-”

“He’s Professor Hatake now,” Sasuke said with a smirk. 

“He’s not smart enough to be a professor,” Naruto fought back.

“He’s actually a genius and a prodigy, even if he doesn’t always act like it,” Sakura replied. “He could still kill each of you without an issue.”

“Can you three speak English? Please?” Ron asked, clearly annoyed.

“No,” Sasuke replied coldly.

***

Kakashi wanted to disappear. He wasn’t one to feel embarrassment, but between the reading incident with Mad-Eye and the awkward way he introduced himself, he wanted to jump over the table and run right out of the Great Hall. But instead, he just gripped his kunai and tried to look somewhat intimidating.

He watched his students talk with the people sitting around them. He caught Sasuke’s eye and tried to give him a reassuring look. Sasuke just smirked and turned back to the people he was talking to.

As dinner finished, he passed by his students on his way to the end of the Great Hall.

“Outside,” he muttered.

“You know what?” Sakura said to the students she, Naruto, and Sasuke had been talking to. “We’ll meet you in the common room later.”

She dragged the boys out to follow Kakashi quietly. Kakashi smiled gratefully. Luckily, it was already dark, so they could run out to the Forbidden Forest quietly and without being seen. 

“Yes, Professor Hatake?” Sasuke asked with a smirk as they jumped up and into trees to further avoid being seen.

“Sasuke-” Kakashi’s voice held violent threats. 

“Hn.” Sasuke smiled, which surprised everyone. 

“Better. Anyways, you three have classes, so we won’t be able to talk for a bit. I expect you to focus on learning spells and studying in your free time, okay?” Kakashi looked at his students.

“That’s all?” Naruto asked.

“And Sakura, what was that thing with your wand yesterday? Where it lit up?”

“Lumos,” Sakura said, and her wand lit up. The other three did the same. “Then you say nox and it becomes dark again.”

Sakura’s wand went dark, and after a second, the rest of the teams’ wands went dark, sending them into the darkness of the night.

“Very good. We’ll need to train for a while; get an idea of these woods,” Kakashi said.

“No, you won’t.” A voice came from below.

“Who-” Naruto looked down, and the rest of the team did the same. A large, gruff man- Rubeus Hagrid, if Kakashi remembered correctly- was staring up at them, a large, black dog standing next to him.

“They’re students,” Hagrid said. “They need sleep. And they ‘ave no business out ‘ere in the Forest. Neither do you.”

“Ah, but the thing is,” Kakashi said, standing upside down on the branch. “We do.”

“I’ll get Dumbledore an’ tell ‘im,” the man said. “You have class tomorrow, you need sleep.”

“He’s right,” Sakura said softly. “You should also sleep, Sensei.”

“Fine. You’re right,” Kakashi said, jumping down and landing next to the dog, who had started growling. 

“‘Ey, Fang, calm down!” Hagrid pulled back on the leash as the dog leapt at Kakashi. “‘E thinks you smell like a dog ‘e’s never met.”

“Maa, isn’t that funny?” Kakashi muttered, placing a finger under the dog’s chin. His students jumped down around him.

“Let’s get inside,” Sakura said, taking Kakashi’s arm and pulling him toward the castle. The sensei followed without complaint, followed by the other two students.

***

Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke filed into the Gryffindor common room, meeting Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lots of other students. They moved close to the only people they knew, and they started interrogating.

“Where were you?” Hermione asked. 

“Ah, Kakashi-sensei wanted to tell us something,” Sakura said. “Nothing important.” 

“What?” Harry asked.

“Just something about class,” Sakura responded. She felt the eyes of a bunch of people, and she looked around, seeing boys watching her. “Also about these robes. It’s weird for us to have to wear these.”

“What did you wear at your old school?” Ron asked.

“Regular clothes,” Naruto said. “Like, we all get to wear different things.”

“Sounds cool,” Harry said, staring off into space.

“Hn.” Sasuke stood up.

“Where are you going, Sasuke-kun?” Sakura asked.

“To bed. And don’t call me that.” Sasuke stalked off.

“What’s his problem?” Ron asked.

“A lot! He thinks he so great since he’s an Uchiha and has the Sha-”

“Naruto, don’t you think you should get off to bed, too?” Sakura asked. “You don’t even realize what you’re saying anymore. Be careful. They can’t know about the Sharingan.”

“Why?” Naruto asked as Sakura pushed him toward the boys’ dorms.

“You know why,” Sakura responded curtly, walking to the girls’ dormitory. “I’m heading in for the night, too.”

“Okay,” Hermione responded curtly. “Sleep well.”

Sakura found it odd that this person- a near complete stranger- was wishing her a good night of sleep. Frankly, it creeped her out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Classes and stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picked the classes that I thought would be fun to write about. Also, I don't care about the actual curriculum. I just want it to be interesting.

Sakura was packing her bag with the things she would need. She (along with her teammates and fellow Gryffindors) had Potions, Charms, Flying, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. She sighed as she stuffed books into her small bag and waited in the common room for Naruto and Sasuke.

When her teammates finally came in, they went to breakfast and silently ate before following the Gryffindor trio off to Potions. Harry, Ron, and Hermione took one table, while Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto took another. Professor Snape stepped to the front of the room.

“You three!” He pointed his wand at the ninjas.

“Yes, sir?” Sakura asked, sitting up straight, wrapping one hand around her wand and the other around her knife. She kicked Naruto and Sasuke, making them sit up and pay attention, though they had the sense to not say anything.

“What is amortentia?” Professor Snape’s wand didn’t move from its aim right at them.

“Ah-” Naruto looked afraid, but Sakura stepped in.

“Amortentia is the strongest love potion in the world,” she said softly. “But it does not create real love. It’s only a strong obsession with the other person.”

“Correct,” Snape sneered, though his wand didn't lower. “You two would do well to learn something, as well.”

Sakura pinched Naruto’s arm as he opened his mouth to protest, stopping him from saying something stupid. He just closed his mouth and bowed his head, and Sasuke did the same.

The entire class was spent reading from the books they’d been told to bring. Sakura had already read a good part of it, so she pretended to read while thinking about the mission, and when the class was finally over, she heard about how they had an essay to write in the next few days..

***  
Kakashi already hated his life, but teaching twenty-two eleven-year-olds about something he had no knowledge of made it even worse. He pretty much just sat in the corner and read.

“Okay, so everybody, take out your books. We’ll be learning about classroom safety to start off the year,” Remus said, taking out his own copy. He looked up as a student raised his hand. “Yes?”

“What does Professor Hatake do?” the little shit asked.

“I keep you in line,” Kakashi responded, not even looking up. “I help teach, I sit here, what else do you want in a teacher?”

“Where are you from? Professor Dumbledore only said that you were a foreign teacher, not where you came from!” the student quickly changed the subject.

“That’s none of your business,” Kakashi said simply. “You probably wouldn’t know it, anyway.”

“Anyways, does anyone know some important things to remember to stay safe while doing magic in the classroom?” Remus asked. The class went quiet.

“Not murdering each other would be a good start,” Kakashi said. “Why don’t you tell us some spells that wizards and witches should never use?”

“Anyone?” Remus asked. A few hands went up. 

“There’s Imperio,” one said. “It controls whoever it’s put on.”

“Crucio,” the next said softly. “It puts unbearable pain on whoever it’s used on.”

“Then the killing curse,” a third all but whispered. “Avada Kedavra.”

“Very good,” Remus said. Kakashi wondered why it was so bad to kill someone here, but he figured that they just had different morals here. He’d killed over a hundred people in his life, so most of them blurred together. But not all of them. 

“Those are the three Unforgivable Curses,” Kakashi said. “I’ve never used any of them and don’t plan on using them.” He paused. “But only because there are more effective methods of-”

“Kakashi!” Remus interrupted, glaring at the ninja. “Anyways, you guys have to remember that I am in charge, so you’ll be following my directions at all times. Professor Hatake is also in charge, but it would do you well to take everything he says with a grain of salt.”

“What?”

“It’s an idiom,” Remus sighed.

After more rules, talking, and torturing his co-teacher, the bell rang. Next up, the third years. That couldn’t be much worse, right?

***  
Next up, Charms. Sakura had started talking to Hermione, and they were making plans to go to the library during their break, which was right after lunch. They passed by it, and Hermione promised Sakura a tour.

When they walked into the classroom, there was a tiny man standing on a pile of books. Sakura remembered that he was Professor Flitwick. Sasuke and Naruto exchanged smirks when they saw him. Sakura sighed. At least they were getting along. The six sat in a row, watching Professor Flitwick closely.

“Today, we’ll just be reviewing the basics. Everybody, please take out your wands and a feather.” The class groaned. “It’s important to be able to remember your old spells! Now, if you will please levitate your feathers.”

Sakura remembered the book she’d read- wingardium leviosa. Swish and flick. She raised the feather, much like the rest of the class had done. Sasuke looked at her.

“Do it again.” Sakura looked at him and noticed that his eyes had gone red. She brought the feather back down and said the spell again, allowing Sasuke to copy it immediately.

“Be more careful,” Sakura said. “People can’t find out about the Sharingan.”

“Sasuke was using his Sharingan?” Naruto shouted angrily. Sasuke turned to punch him in the face, his feather falling back to the table. Naruto reached up to his nose, which may have been broken.

“Oh, dear! I don’t allow that kind of violence in this classroom,” Professor Flitwick squeaked. 

“It’s normal,” Sakura assured him, glaring at the boys. 

“Get to the hospital wing at once!” Flitwick ordered.

“Nah, I’m fine.” Naruto smiled and wiped the blood away from his nose.

“Sorry,” Sasuke muttered.

“And what is this Sharingan you talked about?” Flitwick asked.

“It’s an eye inherited by Uchihas,” a blond Ravenclaw piped up. “My dad’s told me about it. He just can’t put it in the Quibbler because it’s from another place.”

“How do you know?” Sasuke asked, suddenly on the defensive.

“My dad travelled to a place called Konohagakure and talked to a boy called Itachi about it.” The Ravenclaw looked at Sasuke with a look of interest. “Is he your brother?”

“Itachi is no brother of mine,” Sasuke growled.

“Why?” 

“Okay, back to spells,” Professor Flitwick said loudly, sensing the tension. Sasuke glared at the small Ravenclaw, who was wearing earrings with radishes.

“Don’t mind Luna,” Ron whispered, leaning over to talk to Sasuke. “She’s full of-”

“Ron, pay attention,” Hermione hissed, pushing Ron back in his seat. Harry muttered something to Ron, but Sasuke couldn’t pick it up. 

The class dragged on and on, one spell after another, and Sasuke refrained from using his Sharingan again. They were all on edge after the little incident, and were more than ready to fill Kakashi-sensei in on the newest information. Luckily, class eventually ended, allowing them to make their way to the Great Hall for lunch. Sasuke caught Kakashi-sensei’s eyes and glanced out the door. His sensei excused himself, and Sasuke made some excuse about forgetting a book in the dorms. 

“Yes?” Kakashi asked as they met outside. Sasuke took a second to find the words.

“Someone knows about the Sharingan,” he muttered.

“How?” Kakashi asked. 

“I was using it to get a spell right, and Naruto yelled about it. A Ravenclaw girl started talking about how her dad came to Konoha.” 

“What did she say? Exactly?”

“She mentioned Itachi,” Sasuke said softly. “Said her dad talked to him.”

“Xenophilius Lovegood,” Kakashi mumbled. “Did she mention something called the Quibbler?”

Sasuke nodded.

“How did you respond?”

“I just told her that Itachi’s no brother of mine,” Sasuke said, a fire lighting up his eyes. “Then the teacher continued the lesson.”

“Very well. Let’s get back inside. I’ll see you three for the last class of the day.” Kakashi ruffled Sasuke’s hair as they walked back into the Great Hall to finish eating.

“How’d it go?” Sakura asked.

“He seemed concerned and mentioned someone called Xenophilius Lovegood,” Sasuke responded.

“Are you three still going on about Luna?” Ron asked, clearly annoyed. “Xenophilius Lovegood is her dad. They’re not right in the head, I tell you.”

“Neither is Naruto over here, but he’s still someone we have to worry about,” Sasuke responded bitterly.

“Hey!” Naruto glared at Sasuke in between bites of food.

“Sometimes I wish Kurama had killed you already,” Sasuke said softly.

“Sasuke! You can’t say that! Naruto’s your teammate!” Sakura slapped Sasuke’s arm.

“Can you please speak English?” Harry asked, exasperated. “We’d like to be able to understand you.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Sasuke responded, not missing a beat. 

“Generally, friends like to understand each other,” Harry said softly.

“We’re not friends,” Sasuke retorted, receiving offended looks from the Gryffindors.

“Let it go, Sasuke. ‘Friend’ has a different meaning here than it did at home,” Sakura said.

“No it doesn’t,” Sasuke said coldly. “I just don’t like them.”

“You don’t like anyone, teme!” Naruto retorted.

“Is it normal where you come from for people to be so rude?” a redhead sitting nearby asked.

“No! Sasuke’s just an exception!” Naruto replied.

“So is your teacher,” she retorted. “He sat in the corner, read a book, and when he wasn’t reading, he was being rude. What does he even teach?”

“That sounds so much like him,” Sakura groaned. “He teaches self-defense, usually. He’s much smarter than he seems.”

“He’s also really strong!” Naruto said excitedly. “He also has the-”

“Naruto!” Sakura slapped a hand over her teammate’s mouth. “You have to think before you speak!”

“What’s he have?” Ron asked.

“A glass eye,” Sakura lied. “He’s pretty insecure about it, soo he usually just covers it up. His original eye was cancerous.”

Naruto and Sasuke gave her strange looks. She glared back at them, reminding them to keep their big mouths shut.

“Oh,” Ron said. 

“Why does he always carry knives?” The redheaded girl asked. “And he doesn’t wear robes like everyone else does. Why?”

“He’s really paranoid and claims that robes are impractical,” Sakura said. “What’s your name, anyways?”

“I’m Ginny Weasley,” the girl said.

“Ron’s sister,” Naruto noted. “You two even look similar! But Ginny’s a lot prettier than you.”

“Stay away from my sister,” Ron said.

“Aw, he’s fine,” Ginny said. “I’m not even interested in… his type.”

Her gaze rested on Sakura before her eyes moved back to her brother. 

“Come on! I wasn’t gonna do anything,” Naruto laughed. “I’m interested in someone else, anyways!” 

“Good,” Ron said.

“Are you done?” Hermione asked Sakura.

“Yeah, why?”

“Library!” Hermione said, standing up.

“I’ll come, too,” Ginny said. “I need to get some homework done, anyways.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto gets on a broom and Kakashi tries to flirt with Remus. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all, I said fuck canon to the max. They only have flying lessons in first year. i forgot that when i wrote that. oops. whatever, it's still fun

The girls reached the library, and Ginny followed Hermione and Sakura around as they looked through shelves, and Hermione quietly told them about what each part held. 

Once the tour was over and they had all checked out a few books, they found a table to sit at. Sakura sat down with parchment and a quill, and Ginny sat down nice and close, pulling out a book to start reading. 

After the break time was over, they made their way to Flying, on the ‘Quidditch pitch.’ 

“What’s Quidditch?” Naruto asked as they approached the pitch with their brooms.

“What’s Quidditch? What’s Quidditch?” Ron exploded, his face beginning to turn a similar color to his hair. “Quidditch is just the best sport in the entire Wizarding World! It’s-”

“Ron, you’re scaring them,” Hermione said blandly. “Essentially, people fly around on brooms, throw one type of ball into hoops, throw another type at each other, and then there’s a third, which has to be caught to end the game.”

“Makes sense,” Sakura said.

“It’s really quite barbaric,” Hermione said. “Bludgers are meant to knock people off of their brooms. Harry’s been hurt several times, since he’s the Seeker.”

“Sounds fun,” Sasuke said. “Next best thing to stabbing someone through the heart.”

“Sasuke!” Sakura shrieked, slapping her smirking teammate on his arm. “Be grateful I can’t actually stab you through the heart or we’d get some strange looks.”

“Kakashi-senesi would kill you,” Sasuke said. 

“English…?” Harry muttered, frowning.

“No,” Sasuke replied.

“You’re probably better off not hearing what they’re talking about,” Sakura said as they stepped onto the Quidditch pitch to meet Madam Hooch. 

“Everybody, place your brooms on the ground,” Madam Hooch yelled as the class stood in a line. Sakura thought it was strange, but complied, placing her broom parallel to her feet and looking at the teacher.

“Very good. Now, put your hand over it and say up.” Madam Hooch showed the class, though she didn’t have to say anything to her broom. 

“Up,” Sakura said. Her broom wiggled at her feet but didn't move upwards.

“Up,” Sasuke muttered. His broom flew into his hand almost immediately.

“Up,” Naruto said, probably louder than necessary. His broom didn’t even twitch.

Sakura and Naruto kept struggling with their brooms, much to the amusement of Harry and Ron. Hermione was having similar struggles, but at least she was focused.

“Appu,” Sakura tried, using Japanese instead of English. Her broom gracefully floated up to her hand. Naruto was the last one in the class to get his broom to work. Eventually, he just picked up his broom, hoping that the professor didn't notice.

“Very good. Now, put one leg over the broom, and we’ll begin flying.”

***  
Kakashi looked out the window, wanting to be out of class. Fifth years thought that they were the shit. They didn’t get- wait. Was that someone on a broom? Wait- that’s his student. He squinted. Oh, god, who let Naruto on a broom? His student was stuck upside-down, spiraling around, and he hadn’t quite learned how to fall from that kind of height without hurting himself. 

Kakashi saw the teacher fly up to help Naruto, but the broom wasn’t agreeing and decided to fly away from the teacher. Students gathered below to watch, and Kakashi prayed that his student wouldn’t get hurt. But then the broom went higher. 

“Gotta go,” Kakashi said, opening the window. He heard shouts as he leapt out and ran to the Quidditch pitch. He found a broom on the ground that had been abandoned by one of the students that had likely been told to sit on the ground to stay safe. He picked it up and a student protested, but he jumped on and flew.

Kakashi had never flown on a broom before. He hoped that he was doing it right as he tilted it upwards, leaning forwards to catch up to his student, who was out of reach of the flying teacher. 

“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto shouted, shaking and clinging to his broom. 

“Sakura and Sasuke, be ready to catch him if he falls,” Kakashi said, grateful that his other two students had refused to get down.

“On it,” Sakura said, lowering about fifteen feet and watching.

Kakashi took Naruto under the arms, flipping him over and carrying him under one arm, his student’s broom in his other hand. Naruto screamed, closing his eyes and clinging onto Kakashi for his life.

“I’ve gotta get back to class, so if you would make sure Naruto doesn’t almost get himself killed again, that would be appreciated,” Kakashi said as he landed. Naruto refused to let go of him, even after his feet were planted on the ground. 

“I thought I was gonna die!” Naruto said, looking up at Kakashi with shining eyes. 

“You’ve been on many missions where you were more likely to die than that, Naruto. You’re fine.” Kakashi awkwardly patted his student’s head and pried himself from his grip. “You two, please keep a close eye on Naruto.”

“Kakashi-sensei, I can handle myself!” Naruto yelled.

“Not after that incident,” Kakashi said, walking away and waving his students’ concerns off. 

“I’m not a child! I’m a legal adult!” Naruto called back as Kakashi walked off.

“You're still my student. I’ll consider you a kid until I’m dead,” Kakashi responded. “Hopefully that’s not too far out.”

Kakashi heard his students scolding him for making another joke about his mental health, but he ignored them and walked into the castle. He made his way back to the DADA room.

“The hell was that?” Remus yelled as Kakashi walked in through the door, not even caring that there were thirty fifteen-year-olds hearing his outburst.

“Remind me to never let Naruto near anything that flies,” Kakashi said, picking up his book.

“You jumped out that window,” a Slytherin said. “Even powerful pureblood wizards can’t do that without dying. You did it and then walked all the way back here without even limping in.”

“She’s right,” Remus said. “Class is going to end soon, you all, just… pack up. You’re dismissed.”

Once the students had left, Remus cornered Kakashi.

“You’re not like other wizards,” Remus said. “He was right. Even a very powerful wizard like Dumbledore couldn’t survive that.”

“That’s just because he’s a hundred years old,” Kakashi said, his face in his book.

“You could also still speak while in the full body-bind curse! People are only supposed to be able to move their eyes,” Remus said, stepping close to Kakashi. “And you didn’t even know any spells when you came here. I know that you’re not really a magic teacher, but you should still know spells.”

“I don’t need spells,” Kakashi said softly, a soft intensity in his voice as he pulled out a knife, twirling it and letting it graze Remus’ arm. Remus leapt back, his wand pointed at Kakashi. Kakashi smirked. The man was attractive, there was no doubting that. So he did the most logical thing- one could even describe it as flirting- and threw the knife, pinning Remus to the wall by his robes. His right arm was stuck, and Kakashi threw his other knife before the teacher had a chance to move.

“Professor!” A Hufflepuff walked in, running over to Remus to pull out the knives. Kakashi had buried the knives only a few centimeters into the wooden walls, but it was enough that the student had to pull hard to get the kunai out.

“How- why would you do that?” she asked. 

“Well, Susan, he was annoying me, so it was a way to scare him into silence.” Kakashi didn’t even look up from his book. “If he was one of my students, he’d be unconscious. But customs here are different, so I chose not to hurt him.”

“Kakashi!” Remus checked for holes in his robes, glaring at his co-teacher.

“Yes, my dearest?” Kakashi asked, not entirely sure where that came from, but he paired it with a smile.

“You throw a knife at me and say that it’s not hurting me?” Remus almost yelled. “And then call me your ‘dearest?’”

“Pretty much,” Kakashi replied, shrugging and turning the page. He hadn’t noticed the students filing in and sitting down.

“Sensei, I think we’d all be better off if we didn’t see you flirting with Professor Lupin,” Sasuke said, smirking.

“That was flirting?” Naruto shouted. 

“Obviously,” Sasuke said, smiling. “It’s just that our poor teacher doesn’t know how to do it.”

“Now, let’s begin the lesson,” Remus said, blushing. “Why don’t you put your book down, Kakashi?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do some stuff (I'm getting lazy with these) and McGonagall's still pissed at Kakashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea is that the translation spell also works on all summons, so that's why the dog can speak English.

“Put the book down,” Remus said, hoping that Kakashi would listen.

“Oh, it’s just that Icha Icha is way more interesting than this class,” Kakashi said, looking up at Remus.

“Well, then, why don’t you read some out to the class?” Remus asked, sure that Kakashi would back out and just shake his head, either too embarrassed or ready to start the lesson.

“Okay.” Kakashi read a passage, keeping it in Japanese as his face turned increasingly redder and redder. His students were also blushing and holding in giggles, clearly disturbed at the words Kakashi was reading out.

“It’s great to know what you’ve been reading, Sensei,” Sakura said, laughing with her face buried in Sasuke’s neck. “That was… interesting.”

“There are pictures, too, if you want me to-” Kakashi tilted the book slightly, not enough for anyone to see, but just-

“NO!” the entire team yelled, shaking their heads as Kakashi smiled, amused.

“Your loss,” Kakashi said. The English-speaking portion of the class just looked lost, and maybe a little concerned.

“Why don’t we actually start class?” Remus asked, and Kakashi nodded, taking his knives back from the ground. 

“What are we learning today?” Kakashi asked. 

“We’re going over some old spells, as you’ll be dueling tomorrow.” Remus turned his attention to his students. “You need to remember how to perform basic spells, since our dueling unit is very dangerous. Pair up!”

Kakashi watched as Naruto and Sasuke paired up- a definite recipe for disaster. Sakura was with a frizzy-haired Gryffindor, which would hopefully be okay. 

“Let’s start with one partner disarming the other and the other blocking it with protego.” Remus turned to Kakashi. “Expelliarmus!”

Kakashi instinctively leapt out of the way, landing on the ceiling.

“That’s not blocking it,” Remus said, sighing. “You disarm me now.”

“Expelliarmus!” Kakashi said, pointing his wand at Remus.

“Protego!” Remus replied, an invisible shield appearing. “And get off the ceiling, why don’t you?” 

“I like it here.” Kakashi sat down- or up, either works- clearly having no intention of moving. Multiple students started whispering. It wasn’t normal for someone to be able to dodge a spell, and it was certainly weird for them to proceed to sit on the ceiling.

“Stupefy,” Sakura sighed, knocking her sensei off of the ceiling. He landed on the ground, hitting his head but managing to stand up. “It’s weird to be able to stand on the ceiling, sensei. People here are weaker than in Konoha.”

“Well, then, if you guys would like to begin training, you can go,” Kakashi said, sitting back on his chair with Icha Icha. Spells flew around the room, and Kakashi kept a close eye on the two boys he had to teach. He wasn’t so worried about the kunoichi, who could handle herself. Naruto’s wand flew into the air, and then a second later, Sasuke’s wand slipped. Kakashi sighed, remembering how hopeless their cases were.

“Library before dinner,” Kakashi muttered as he passed his students. He was making sure no one was getting hurt from Stupefy. Remus was way too worried about the students, in Kakashi’s opinion, but who was he to judge? The man cared about the kids.

Finally, after what seemed like forever of spells and making sure no one accidentally killed anyone else (a Hufflepuff was sent to the hospital wing, but that was beside the point), class ended. Kakashi moved away from the crowd that was keen on getting dinner.

“So… I- I made a mistake.” Kakashi put his hand on his neck. “There are more spells than I originally realized. I’ll make a list of the ones you three should use and deliver it to you tonight. We’ll head out to the forest through your dormitory windows. Have your brooms ready at midnight in the common room.”

“Never thought you’d admit to a mistake,” Sasuke said with a smirk as he crossed his arms. 

“Yeah, yeah. You should get to dinner.” Kakashi pointed his team towards the Great Hall. “I’m going to the Forest.”

***  
Harry whispered for Ron and Hermione to follow him away under his Invisibility Cloak.

“I told you two that there was something up with them!” Hermione hissed once they’d gotten out of earshot. “Our story is that we went to the dorms to get stuff.”

“Sounds good,” Harry replied, stuffing the Cloak in his bag. 

“I just don’t get it,” Ron complained. “They come here as exchange students, so you would think that they would at least try and, I dunno, blend in?” 

“That girl has pink hair, Ron,” Hermione reminded him. “And they have a very different curriculum than ours. Their teacher can sit on the ceiling, if you’ll remember.”

They went quiet, contemplating the gravity-defying seat the teacher had taken on the ceiling. They sat at the Gryffindor table, watching the exchange students carefully. 

“Where’s Professor Hatake?” Hermione asked Sakura as she sat down.

“Oh, he’s… somewhere.” Sakura shrugged. “I haven’t seen him since class. Where were you guys, anyways?”

“At the dorms,” Ron said proudly. “We were getting stuff to work on homework.”

“Cool.” Sakura bit into her sandwich, ignoring the way that her teammates argued over something dumb.

“So, do you want to go to the library and work on homework after dinner?” Ginny asked Sakura.

“Yeah, the three of us got a lot. Right, guys?” Sakura nudged her teammates.

“I was actually going to ask if you’d help me with something?” Ginny asked, blushing.

“Yeah, I can try,” Sakura responded. “No promises, though.”

“Thanks.” Ginny finished off her food as a small dog walked up to the Gryffindor table.

“Boss said that there’s a change of plans. He wanted me to tell you three to meet him right after dinner. I’ll show you where he went if you give me some of that sandwich,” the dog said to the ninjas, squeezing in between Sakura and Hermione.

“Pakkun!” Naruto said, ignoring the way the wizards looked confused.

“What, you’ve never seen a talking dog before?” the dog said, exasperated.

“Sorry, Ginny. I don’t think I can go to the library after dinner,” Sakura said.

“He’s so cute!” Ginny squealed, reaching over to pat Pakkun on the head.

“Kid, I don’t think I’m what you would call cute. Grab me some chicken, would you?” Pakkun nudged Sakura, quickly taking the food from her hands. “Kakashi ain’t giving me nearly enough food.”

“He’s not eating enough on his own,” Sasuke told the dog.

“He’s never eaten enough,” Pakkun grumbled. “Kid, we’ve been living off of close to nothing for years.”

“There are more of you?” Hermione squeaked.

“Not all of us talk,” Pakkun said. “C’mon. Kakashi’s getting annoyed. I can feel it.”

“If we can wait three hours, he can wait twenty minutes,” Sakura said, patting Pakkun’s head.

“Three hours?” Ron asked. 

“Shouldn’t’a said that, kid. You should not have said that.” Pakkun jumped down. “Come on, you three. Kakashi won’t wait much longer.”

“We’re moving!” Naruto stood, followed by Sasuke and Sakura. They left the Great Hall and followed Pakkun to the forest, where Kakashi was reading his usual book against a tree.

“Took you long enough.” Kakashi closed his book- he never did that. He released Pakkun, who disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

“We always have to wait-” Naruto’s shout was cut off by Sakura’s hand over his mouth.

“Take out your wands, we’ve got a long list of spells to learn.” Kakashi opened his book. “It would be smart for us to perfect that shield spell, yes?”

“Hn.” Sasuke faced Naruto. “Expelliarmus!”

“Protego!” Naruto responded, and the spell was absorbed by a shield that appeared in front of him. “Your turn! Expelliarmus!”

“Protego!” Sasuke responded.

The team was outside all night, learning spell after spell. After perfecting Protego, there was Alohomora, to Diffindo… the spells seemed to all blur together as they attacked each other.

“Stop right there!” A voice called as morning approached. Team 7 drew closer together, their backs against one another to eliminate any possibility of a blind spot. An arrow went toward Kakashi’s chest before he caught it.

“Who are you?” Naruto yelled.

“Bane! Three of them are still foals!” A softer voice called out. 

“Are you calling us kids?” Naruto yelled. “Because we’re adults! We’re-”

Kakashi’s hand clamped over his student’s mouth.

“Please come out, and I will have no reason to injure you.” Kakashi turned the arrow around so that it was directly facing the thing that had shot it. It appeared to be half-horse and half-human. His team turned around to face the things- they were called centaurs, right?

“Get out of our forest,” the centaur growled.

“Bane-” The other centaur that stepped out placed an arm on Bane’s shoulder. 

“Why?” Kakashi asked. “Why do we need to leave ‘your’ forest?”

“Because we’ll use deadly force if you do not. Mars is bright tonight. That calls for violence. Peace is unlikely” Bane glared.

“Well, then, isn’t that lovely?” Kakashi asked, pulling out his knife.

“What are you doing out here?” McGonagall’s voice echoed through the woods as she walked towards them. “You four! Come with me! Immediately! Firenze, Bane, don’t even think about touching them.”

“We don’t have to follow-” Naruto began.

“Yes, we do, actually.” Kakashi watched as the centaurs turned and ran back into the deep forest before turning to follow McGonagall and lead his team back to the castle.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi cares about his students <3

Team 7 went into the castle, following the silently furious Minerva McGonagall. She told the students to wait outside while she took Kakashi into her office. The closed door didn’t prevent her yelling from reaching the ears of the students.

“What on Earth were you thinking? Bringing your three students into the forest- they’re fourteen! They could have gotten- PUT YOUR BOOK DOWN!” 

Sakura stifled a laugh. Of course Kakashi was reading.

“The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason! There are deadly creatures in there! Your students could have been murdered by those centaurs. Murdered! Just because-”

“Minerva, dear, if you’ll allow me-”

“No! You brought your students into the forest! If those centaurs hadn’t killed you, you could have killed them! And then something else could have killed you! Do you even know what’s in that forest?” McGonagall yelled. Her voice got quiet and the students had to strain to hear.

“You brought your students- the ambassadors of your school- into one of the deadliest forests in the world. You would be held accountable if three of your best students had been killed.” McGonagall’s voice shook. “You. You’re worse than I thought. You bring three teenagers- kids!- to protect our school, and you put them in incredibly dangerous situations! If I had brought three of my students into there, I don’t even know- and at six in the morning! Merlin, do your kids get any sleep? It’s still dark out there!”

“Minerva.” Kakashi’s voice was soft. “My school has different policies. My pups have been in worse situations than a dark forest and know what it’s like to not get sleep for days. They’re strong enough to handle much more than your students. Why do you think your superior chose us to protect your school?”

“Your school is full of monsters,” McGonagall said, her voice quiet and dripping with deadly venom. “What do you even do that puts your students in more deadly situations than in the forest?”

“That,” Kakashi began, “is not something I am permitted to tell you. But my kids are much different than anybody here- their families, their pasts, their personalities. Everything is much different where we come from.”

“You’ve got that right.” McGonagall opened the door. “You three can come in now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Sakura said quietly. She was definitely scared of McGonagall now. 

“Are you three aware of how dangerous those woods are?” McGonagall asked, sitting at her desk. Kakashi was in the corner, his book back out, but his students could tell that he was listening and ready to hang off of their every word. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Sakura replied. Her teammates nodded.

“You’re aware that you could have died from anything in there- everything has powerful magic that will not hesitate to kill you.” McGonagall sighed. “I’m not saying this to scare any of you, it’s just something that you need to know.”

“We’re not scared!” Naruto exclaimed. “We’re learning to be really strong! And Kakashi-sensei is really strong! He wouldn’t let us die!”

“So you trust your teacher, despite, well, everything about him?” McGonagall asked, though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“Of course,” Sakura said softly. “He’s put his own life on the line to save ours multiple times. I know he wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. If anything, I wish he would be more willing to run away.”

Kakashi most definitely wasn’t holding back a smile when he saw Naruto agree and Sasuke nod slightly. There were no tears threatening to spill. And he most definitely did not want to pull all three of his kids into a tight hug. 

“Is there anything else?” Kakashi asked. “I believe it’s about time for them to start getting ready for class.”

“Yes, you’re right,” McGonagall sighed. “Go. I don’t want to see you back in the forest, okay?”

“Okay!” Naruto said, following Kakashi out of the office. 

“You three know that I would trust you with my life, too, right?” Kakashi asked, putting his book back in his pocket.

“Ew! You can’t go randomly saying gross things like that!” Naruto yelled, running ahead.

“We’ll meet you in the common room!” Sakura laughed, waving. 

“He’s right,” Sasuke muttered. “You’re freaking all of us out.”

“It’s okay, Sensei.” Sakura wrapped an arm around her teacher, who smiled as his heart practically exploded. 

“Well, you two really should be getting to breakfast.” Kakashi ruffled his students’ hair, smiling fondly as they said the password to get into the Gryffindor common room.

“Where were you last night?” Harry asked as they walked in. 

“Detention,” Naruto lied. He’d been waiting at the painting for the rest of the team.

“We were with you all day. You didn’t get any detentions,” Hermione retorted.

“Ah- we did, though,” Naruto insisted. “Anyways, we should get our stuff for class.”

“I refuse to believe that you three were in detention all night,” Neville said. Sakura didn’t know much about him, but he seemed more like the Hufflepuffs than the Gryffindors.

“Professor Hatake’s a bitch,” Sasuke said simply.

“Yeah! He’s been torturing us like this for years! And just because he was a child prodigy doesn’t mean that we all will be!” Naruto said a bit too loudly.

“That man was a child prodigy?” Ron scoffed. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Ron!” Hermione slapped his arm.

“I’m just saying that he seems really dumb and annoying!” Ron put his hands up. “He barely even knows how to do spells!”

“He- ah- doesn’t really like using his wand,” Sakura said. “Or his brain, for that matter. But believe me, he’s really smart and great once you get to know him.”

“Sure he is,” Ron grumbled, getting up to go to breakfast.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone has a crush on Kakashi and stuff happens

Time skip to October 30, the day the other two schools arrive

“You three remember the plan?” Kakashi muttered before making his way back to the teachers’ table as a flying carriage flew through the sky. There was also a magic ship coming out of the water. Interesting.

“Yeah,” Naruto said.

“Yep,” Sakura said, nodding.

“Hn.” Sasuke clutched a kunai as people stepped out of the ship and carriage. 

“Sasuke-” Sakura’s tone was warning. “The point was to welcome them, was it not?”

“Hn.” Sasuke put his kunai away, though he didn’t relax.

Students came inside, starting with girls in blue. Naruto watched them closely, grinning. They were dressed in all silk, and Sakura had to admit that they were beautiful. They ended up sitting by the Ravenclaws, and their teacher- an incredibly tall woman- sat at the teachers’ table by Kakashi. 

Next was the people that had arrived by ship. They walked in without much more than a glance at anyone else and sat with the Slytherins. They were bundled in 

Dumbledore gave a long-winded welcome speech, which Team 7 ignored, instead whispering in Japanese.

“The ones in coats seem like trouble,” Sasuke muttered, ignoring the way Ron freaked out over someone named Viktor Krum.

“I think the ones in blue could also prove to be issues,” Sakura said. She’d had enough issues with pretty blond girls. She promised herself that she would stay far away from the Beauxbatons girls. 

“They all look like assholes,” Naruto said. 

“The Beauxbatons teacher is flirting with Kakashi,” Sasuke said with a smirk. “I don’t think we have much to be worried about.”

Naruto and Sakura looked up at the teachers’ table, and sure enough, the insanely tall woman was getting closer to Kakashi than anyone ever dared to get. It was a wonder she hadn’t been stabbed straight through her throat. Kakashi didn’t even look up from his book as she offered him her drink. Kakashi shook his head and turned the page.

“Let’s give a warm welcome to Beauxbatons and Durmstrang!” Dumbledore finished his speech and the room burst into applause and chatter. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke joined in halfheartedly. Food appeared in front of everyone and they started piling it onto their plates.

“Are you gonna try and get your name into the Goblet?” Ron whispered to Naruto.

“The Goblet? What’s that?”

“Did you listen to anything Professor Dumbledore said?” Hermione asked. “The Goblet of Fire decides who gets to participate in the Tournament!”

“Like the Chunin Exams!” Naruto exclaimed before clapping a hand over his mouth.

“No, not quite.” ‘Nearly Headless’ Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor, said, his head appearing through the table. Sakura jumped closer to Sasuke while her teammate readied his knife.

“How do you know about the Exams?” Sasuke asked.

“Hundreds of years ago, when I was alive, ninjas and wizards were closer. We were still separate, but I got to be an ambassador for Hogwarts.” He grinned proudly. “The Goblet picks three names that it deems worthy. Those are the three people that get to compete.”

“Ninjas?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah! And I’m gonna be Hokage one day! Believe it!” Naruto said. 

“Not if I do first,” Sasuke muttered, getting in his teammate’s face. “Dobe.”

“You didn’t just call me-”

“Not worth it,” Sakura muttered. Naruto shut up immediately, terrified of making Sakura angry. 

“What’s Hokage?” Harry asked.

“It’s the leader of Konoha,” Nick explained. “That’s where you three come from, right? Your teacher wears the hitai-ate of Konoha.”

“Why do you know so much?” Sasuke asked.

“Again, I was an ambassador for Hogwarts. We’ve never had exchange students, but we must stay peaceful.” Nick smiled and tipped his head onto one side before floating off.

“I hate it when he does that,” Hermione muttered, pushing something around her plate. “Can’t he just keep his head on properly?”

“I’ve seen worse,” Sasuke responded, taking a bite out of his chicken. His teammates cringed slightly, knowing the horrible truth to his past.

“Bloody hell, there’s not much worse than seeing a guy with his head half-off,” Ron said.

“You’d be surprised.” The conversation broke when the Gryffindors saw the way the entire team looked uncomfortable. They quietly ate before it was time to go back to the common rooms. 

The students walked through the halls to get to where they were to stay.

“You three, just go to class tomorrow and meet me after dinner in the library.” Kakashi met up with his students, trailed by a slightly drunk Madam Maxine. 

“Make sure she doesn’t follow you,” Sasuke said seriously.

“Her students are almost as bad,” Kakashi responded, grimacing.

“Just tell her you’re gay and move on,” Sasuke said bitterly.

“I tried,” Kakashi muttered, elbowing the impossibly tall woman as she leaned over him, wrapping her arms around him. “Olympe, shouldn’t you check on your students?”

“No, they’re fine,” she slurred. “I’m just checking up on you, now.”

Sakura stifled a snort and led Naruto and Sasuke away.

“Wait! Don’t leave me-” Kakashi groaned. He slipped out of her grasp, walking quickly away. With the alcohol she’d consumed, her movements were slow, so Kakashi managed to get to his room, where Remus was sitting, tiredly reading something about magical creatures.

“Hey.” He barely even looked up, but when he did, he smirked. “Madam Maxine’s persistent, huh?”

“Help me,” Kakashi groaned, dramatically draping himself across his bed. 

“You’re alone on this one,” Remus said. “She’s that bad, huh?”

“Her students also love me for some reason.” Kakashi took out a knife and began sharpening it.

“I would’ve thought that was impossible,” Remus quipped, looking up.

“Hey!” Kakashi tossed a knife at Remus, missing his head by a few centimeters.

“Can you stop that?” Remus asked, taking the knife out of the wall and inspecting it. “Throwing knives at someone isn’t really a good way to communicate.”

“It works.” Kakashi waved his wand. “Accio kunai.”

“It’s also an easy way to kill someone,” Remus grumbled.

“Don’t insult my aim like that or you might wake up with one through your chest,” Kakashi replied, casually tossing his knives in the air.

“I’m not insulting your aim,” Remus said. “I’m just saying that if you throw a knife, it could accidentally end up through someone’s head.”

“My knives only end up where I want them,” Kakashi argued. “If I wanted one through your head, you’d be dead by now.”

“You’re missing my point. We’ve got some essays to grade, anyways.” Remus had already moved on, pulling out a stack of student essays and a quill. 

Kakashi ignored him until he was called over to look at a section that had been written in Japanese.

“It’s Sakura’s,” Kakashi muttered.

Kakashi-sensei, I’m worried about Sasuke. He’s recently become even more withdrawn when it’s just the three of us, and there are marks that he’s clearly trying to hide. I’ve seen them- it looks like Orochimaru’s marks he had before. I could be making a mistake, but I think it’s spread since we first got here. I’m probably just overreacting, but I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he doesn’t respond.

“What’s it say?” Remus asked as Kakashi ran and opened the window.

“Long story, gotta go.” Kakashi ran along the window sills and ceilings of the Hogwarts castle, taking the essay with him, rolled up in his pocket. He tapped on the window where he saw Sakura sitting on her bed, working on an essay. She jumped, startled, and looked behind her, seeing Kakashi.

“Yes?” She opened the window, whispering. “You scared me!”

“I saw your essay,” Kakashi whispered, sitting comfortably on the roof. “Explain.”

“Erm, well, I saw some dark marks on his neck, like, here,” she pointed to a spot on her lower neck. “There wasn’t really a pattern, just… a few spots here and there, but I think it might be something. He seemed like he was trying to hide it, so-”

“I’ll be back.” Kakashi shut the window and walked over to the boys’ dorm, muttering Alohomora and opening the window before using lumos to find his way around. He slipped over to where Sasuke was asleep with a blanket protectively pulled up to his arms. His neck was exposed, and Kakashi guided the light to where Sakura had described the marks. There were marks, but they weren’t curse marks. They were dark brown and red bruises that Kakashi had seen a few times back home. He resisted the urge to wake Sasuke and question him about the marks, but he went back to Sakura, blushing slightly at his discovery.

“What was it?” Sakura asked as she opened the window again.

“Sak’ra, wha’s goin’ on?” Lavender Brown turned on her side, and Kakashi leapt out of sight.

“Can’t sleep. I’m gonna sit on the roof for a bit, ‘kay? Go back to sleep. I’ll be back soon.” 

“M’kay.” Lavender turned over, and Sakura stepped out, closing the window.

“It’s not the curse mark,” Kakashi said. “But it is something that I am… glad has made its way into my knowledge.”

“What is it?” Sakura asked. 

“That’s… confidential. At least between me and Sasuke, alright? But the essay isn’t the best way to contact me, okay? What if someone else got the essay and could read our language? It was very clever, but it’s dangerous.” Kakashi ruffled her hair. “Thanks for informing me, though. Next time, just tell me outright.”

“Okay. I think I’ll head back inside.” Sakura opened the window and made her way back in. Kakashi watched and made sure she got inside safely before making his way back to the boys’ dormitory window.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi's pissed and Remus has dealt with other emotional bottoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this, Remus is dating Sirius Black, who is the emotional bottom in question. Remus only lets Kakashi flirt because he thinks it's kind of cute and amusing

Kakashi opened the window and stepped in silently. This time, he didn’t need a light. He walked over to Sasuke, who was fast asleep.

“Silencio,” he muttered before lifting the boy. He held all four limbs tightly and took him outside, holding him so he couldn’t struggle. He shut the window, holding the shirtless boy by the shoulder, undoing the silencing spell with a simple countercurse. 

“What’s this?” he asked, pointing at a mark on Sasuke’s neck. “Who did you let do this?”

“Stop! Kakashi-sensei! It’s-”

“How did this get on your neck?” Kakashi asked angrily, pointing his wand onto a faded bruise.

“Sensei, I’m sorry-”

“Who?” Kakashi asked, pulling Sasuke closer. He had never thought of himself as protective or nosy, but his student was with someone. He thought that he had a right and a need to know.

“It- it’s from- I-” Sasuke looked like he might cry, something Kakashi had never seen in his eyes. Kakashi almost felt bad, but his student had acted stupidly. He had to remind him of the mission at hand.

“This isn’t a mission where you need to-”

“I know!” Sasuke pushed away from Kakashi, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Sasuke, just say it.”

“No. This is dumb.” Sasuke crossed his arms and took a shaky breath, though he was bright red. He knew that Kakashi knew that something had happened. Kakashi just needed the details. “Can I at least go get a shirt on?” 

“Five seconds,” Kakashi said, opening the window. Sasuke grabbed a shirt, pulled it on, and came back outside, knowing that running from Kakashi would prove impossible. “Sasuke, we’re a team. I need to know who you let do this.” Kakashi sighed. “Sasuke, was it a student? Was it someone you barely know?”

“I’m sure you’ve hooked up with complete strangers,” Sasuke retorted, glaring. 

“Ah, so it is.” Kakashi sighed. “We’ll be out here all night and all day tomorrow. Sasuke, you have to tell me exactly who it was.”

“It wasn’t a stranger. It was- it was-” Sasuke sighed, digging his palms into his forehead. “Why do you want to know, anyways?”

“Sasuke, I have to make sure you stay safe, alive, healthy… I don’t want to have to tell you about what can happen if you don’t- how do I say this- stay safe. At least tell me how far you went.” Kakashi really didn’t want to give his student the talk, so he prayed that Sasuke hadn’t gone all the way with anyone. “And is there any possibility that someone is pregnant?”

“No!” Sasuke looked away. “No, there’s no possibility that there’s a baby. That would be stupid.”

“So how far did you go? Sasuke, you’re going to tell me. There are… consequences if you weren’t safe.” Kakashi pointed his wand at Sasuke threateningly. “The pants…”

“Stayed on,” Sasuke said, understanding what Kakashi was getting at. His face was redder than Kakashi had thought possible.

“The other person…”

“Is still alive.” Sasuke kept eye contact, and Kakashi had to give him credit. He was barely keeping his eyes locked, so he couldn’t imagine how Sasuke felt.

“You know what I mean. Who was it, Sasuke?” Kakashi asked. “Spill.”

“Naruto,” Sasuke muttered, not making eye contact.

“Naruto?” Kakashi repeated, raising his eyebrows.

“I- can I go back in now?” Sasuke asked, masking his embarrassment with anger. “I told you everything you wanted.”

“Yeah. Just remember, Sasuke, he’s your teammate. Think about your actions.” Kakashi winked before letting Sasuke go in. “And have fun.”

“Don’t say that!” Sasuke flushed even deeper, opening the window and silently crawling into bed. Kakashi watched and made sure his student didn’t wake anyone up as he pulled his shirt back off and crawled into bed before walking back to where he and Remus stayed, careful not to make any noise as his feet tapped the top of the castle. He tapped on the window, alerting Remus to the fact that he was back.

“Thanks for telling me about that postscript,” Kakashi said with a smile as he climbed through the open window. He handed Remus the essay, placing a hand on the teacher’s shoulder as he passed.

“What’d it say?” he asked, sitting down to mark another students’ essay.

“That’s confidential. There’s a reason it was written in our language,” Kakashi said, wrapping his arms around Remus. “It’s really late. You should sleep.”

“A few hours ago, you threatened to stab me in my sleep, Kakashi. If anything, you should get some sleep. The students are facing boggarts tomorrow. If I’m not mistaken, you’ve never faced one?” Remus shrugged Kakashi’s arms off. 

“Mm.” Kakashi walked over to his bed and laid down comfortably, thinking about how he’d be able to look his students in the eye in the morning. Except Sakura. Sakura was fine. She was always fine. Most of the time. At least she hadn’t left hickeys all over her teammate.

“What did the postscript say? It’s obviously bothering you,” Remus sighed when Kakashi didn’t respond. “You read it and literally jumped out the window. Now, you’re thinking about it.”

“No, I’m not,” Kakashi retorted. It was weak, but so were wizards.

“I’ve dealt with enough emotional bottoms to know that, yes, you’re thinking about it, and yes, you should talk about it.” Remus sat by Kakashi, looking down at him.

“Who’re you calling emotional?” Kakashi asked, sitting up quickly enough to give a normal person whiplash.

“No one.” Remus smiled and walked back to the essays. “I’ve got to get these all graded by tomorrow, so I may as well get back to it. Sleep, Kakashi, you need it.”

“Nah, I’m good.” Kakashi began twirling a knife around.

“Okay, then tell me what happened with Sakura. It was her essay.” Remus kept his eyes on his page, but his tone was inviting. It was almost as if he cared about Kakashi’s feelings. Weird.

“I think I might actually get some sleep, then.” Kakashi turned over, not even bothering to change out of his clothes, as usual. He heard Remus sigh as he closed his eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boggarts!!!!!!

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura had Transfiguration first thing the next day. They trudged to McGonagall’s torture room and sat down.

“Today, you will read Chapter Three. Your homework will be to write about how Transfiguration is important in the food industry. Begin.” She watched with cat-like eyes as the students took out their books and began reading. Sakura fidgeted with her kunai as she read, itching to get to DADA.

At the end of class, the ninjas went to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Sasuke watched as Kakashi hopelessly flirted with Professor Lupin. God, his sensei was a mess.

“We will be studying boggarts.” Lupin pulled out a wardrobe-type thing. “I trust you all wrote the essay? You will turn it in at the end of class.”

He opened it. A glowing orb the color of Kakashi’s hair seemed to float out.

“Riddikulus.” He pointed his wand at it, and it suddenly looked like the sun. “Who’s first?”

The students lined up, and Kakashi watched as spiders, people, and other things appeared. He vaguely recognized a few of the magical creatures- like ‘dementors,’ which apparently could suck out your soul- and people. He watched more closely as Sakura stood in front of the boggart.

“They’re dead. There’s nothing you can do.” Kakashi saw the Hokage with his hand on Sakura’s shoulder and saw himself, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura’s parents dead on the ground. “You can’t change that.”

“Riddikulus!” Sakura cried, pointing her wand at the scene. Kakashi watched as the pile of bodies stood. They smiled fakely, waving at Sakura. Sakura reached out before getting pushed aside by Naruto.

“It’s not real!” he shouted as the scene morphed into Iruka-sensei stuck in a fire. Kakashi vaguely recognized the signs as being those at Naruto’s favorite ramen place. It was a slightly amusing touch, but Naruto looked pained.

“Naruto- my chakra’s been cut off! I can’t move!” Iruka yelled. Naruto screamed ‘riddikulus’ before turning away from the scene. Another student- Hermione Granger; Kakashi remembered Remus being impressed with her essay- stepped up. McGonagall was there, telling her that she failed every class. Kakashi understood that that would be scary, but it wasn’t plausible. She was a smart kid, and that’s not even how you would be informed of your failure. The fear of Minerva was understandable, though. 

“Riddikulus,” she said softly after a few seconds. She stepped out of the way, letting Sasuke in.

McGonagall morphed into Orochimaru and Sasuke. Orochimaru had a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, and Sasuke was covered in the horrible curse mark, head to toe. Real Sasuke stepped back, unable to look away.

“I would never,” he whispered. His voice gained volume as he spoke to the scene. “I would never go back to you!”

“Sasuke, stop!” Hermione reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We know you would never go back to him,” Naruto said on his other side. Sasuke flinched and shook with rage and fear.

“You don’t really trust me, do you?” he screamed. “You just want to- to keep me in a safe little box. I can handle myself just fine!”

With his last word, he threw his knives in every direction. One his Remus, but Kakashi knew that he had to stop his student from going insane before helping him. Students screamed as Sasuke’s Sharingan was activated and he began attacking people.

“Sasuke, listen to me.” Kakashi took his arms and pinned them behind Sasuke’s back, using his free hand to put a knife to his throat. “You’re armed. I know. But so am I. That image wasn’t real. And you know that I would trust you with my life. We are not keeping you in a little box, you know that.”

“No, I don’t.” Sasuke was shaking, though his eyes quickly faded back to normal and his breathing slowed slightly.

“Sasuke-kun, all three of us trust you. You’ve made bad decisions, but we know that you can handle yourself.” Sakura’s voice was soft. “We just want to make it a bit easier on you.”

“Let me go.” Sasuke had stopped shaking, and Kakashi saw that his breathing was normal. His heart rate was back to normal, from what he felt in the boy’s wrist. He sheathed his knife.

“Next time, try not to stab the teacher.” Naruto placed an arm around Sasuke’s shoulders. 

“Hn.” Sasuke had gone back to his normal aloof manner and looked around at the students that were cowering in fear. “Accio kunai.”

Sasuke’s knives flew back to him, and he heard a strangled scream come from the corner of the room. He looked over and saw Professor Lupin, with his arm bleeding. Kakashi quickly ran over and held it, putting enough pressure on it to stop the bleeding. Lupin hissed in pain.

“Sakura, come put pressure on the wound. Try to heal him, but if it doesn’t work, stop immediately. Naruto and Sasuke, you two should also stay.” Kakashi gave out instructions. “The rest of you are dismissed.”

Students picked up their stuff and started leaving, starting an explosion of chatter.

“What’ll you do?” Naruto asked.

“I’ll get the-” Kakashi had stepped in front of the boggart. It swiftly morphed into a scene that had replayed many times in his head. It was him, his chakra-infused hand through Rin, his old teammate. “Shit. Riddikulus!”

It morphed. His hand was through Gai. The students still in the room went silent.

“Riddikulus!” It was Naruto. Next was Sasuke, then Sakura… it kept morphing into someone else he loved every single time he cast the spell. After Sakura came Lee, then Tenten, Neji, Minato-sensei, then Remus- wait, why was it Remus? Kakashi was too drawn into the horrible scenes that came across. Obito, his father…

It’s fake, he reminded himself.

“Stop!” Harry Potter stepped in front of Kakashi and worked on wrestling the boggart back into the wardrobe. Kakashi, on the other hand, was breathing unusually fast. 

“It’s not real,” Naruto yelled. “Kakashi-sensei, we’re right here!”

“I know.” Kakashi stared at the wardrobe.

“Why was there a grown-up Naruto?” Sakura asked. “Is something going to happen when he’s older?”

“I knew his father,” Kakashi said, falling forward onto his knees. He’d never been so scarred by something, even when he’d seen his father take his own life. He’d never been so afraid, so drawn into something so horrible. Himself killing everyone he knew and loved.

“Is he still alive?” Naruto asked, not really wanting to know the truth. Kakashi put his head in his hands for a split second before standing and running to the window. He opened it and leapt out, running. Running as far as he could. He couldn’t go back. He could never go back to that classroom. He ran and ran and ran, into the forest and away, away, away from everyone. He ran until he collapsed, not even bothering to silence his breathing when he heard voices. He heard someone cast a spell, and his world went black in an instant. He was out.

***  
“Did he jump out the window?” Sakura asked, sighing.

“Yep.” Professor Lupin nodded, though he was careful to not move his arm. “What’re you doing to my arm?” 

“Healing it. Naruto, Sasuke, go get Kakashi-sensei. Be careful with the jump, we’re pretty high up.” Sakura hoped that her teammates would comply, and she got lucky. They jumped out the window.

“What-” A student behind Sakura sounded like he was in disbelief.

“He does that sometimes,” Sakura and Lupin said at the same time.

“Just- jumps out windows a hundred meters up?” Hermione asked. “That’s impossible.”

“Yeah, well, Kakashi-sensei’s pretty impossible.” Sakura rolled her eyes as she fed chakra into Lupin’s arm.

“What do you mean?” Hermione stepped closer and watched how Sakura’s hands moved and glowed. “And what are you doing?”

“I’m healing.” Sakura shifted her hands. “I’m not great at it yet, but I’m training under the best healer in our village, so it won’t be perfect and it’ll scar, but it works.”

Sakura took her arms off of Lupin’s arm and he examined it.

“It doesn’t even hurt anymore.” Lupin grinned. “I was just stabbed, and you healed it completely. How?”

“I’ve healed worse,” Sakura said drily. “My team isn’t exactly known for being careful.”

“I’m off to the library.” Hermione turned and left.

“But Hermione, we have lunch!” Ron whined.

“I’ll meet you at Herbology,” Hermione said.

“I should go.” Sakura ran out and left the castle, slipping out to look for Sasuke and Naruto. 

***  
“He could be anywhere,” Naruto groaned. “We’ll miss lunch!”

“We can skip lunch and Herbology,” Sasuke said. “Remember our training.”

“Footprints! These look like Kakashi-sensei’s shoes!”

“Dobe, Kakashi-sensei’s smart enough not to leave footprints.” Sasuke followed Naruto’s lead anyway. They followed the prints, hoping to find something.

“His shoes,” Naruto said softly, coming across a pile of items. “And his vest! This is bad. Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t leave his things anywhere. He’s not stupid! And his headband!”

“There are different footprints here,” Sasuke said softly. “They lead that way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where's Kakashi? You'll find out soon.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, Kakashi's been taken awayyyyyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, in this, Ron isn't a dick about Harry being chosen because we stan a canonically loyal best friend.

Kakashi felt bare. He had regained his consciousness without his headband, shoes, or vest. He had been stripped of his weapons. And he was tied up on the ground. His mask had been pulled down and was around his neck.

“My lord, she will make perfect bait for the three kids,” a voice said behind Kakashi. He was barely awake, but he heard each word. He pretended to still be asleep despite the mental torture, though he was working hard on sensing chakra signatures around him. There were lots. There wasn’t a lot of chakra coming from each one, but there were lots of people. He guessed that they had wands.

“The girl,” a snakelike voice hissed, “will certainly bring the children here.”

Kakashi desperately wanted to summon Pakkun to run and tell the kids to not come find him- to stay away. Far away. To let him escape on his own- or die. But he stayed perfectly still as someone touched his face.

“Ah, so pretty.” A woman’s shrill voice came from next to him. He opened his eyes and tried to kick her with both legs. His Sharingan was automatically activated, since his eye was uncovered. He stood and signed to summon some clones. Three appeared, two running to attack people and the last one cutting the ties off of Kakashi.

“First of all, I’m not a girl.” Kakashi began dodging spells. “And second of all, you’re not getting anywhere near my students.”

Kakashi summoned his dogs, who joined the fight. Multiple wizards disappeared with a pop, including snake-man and the annoying woman. Kakashi released his clones and dogs, turning around to look for a way back to the castle. How unfortunate that he was in an incredibly expansive graveyard.

***  
“We couldn’t find him,” Naruto said sadly as they met back up with Sakura.

“We found his things, though.” Sasuke held up their sensei’s shoes, weapons, vest, and headband.

“This is bad,” Sakura said quietly.

“No shit. What’s our plan?” Naruto was bouncing back and forth with fear and anticipation. 

“You two stay at the castle, go to class, and protect them. I’m going to find him.” Sasuke spoke suddenly. “I’ll leave tomorrow at the crack of dawn.”

“No! You’re not going alone!” Naruto glared. “I’ll go, too.”

“Neither of you are going to find Kakashi-sensei. As much as I hate it, I think he would want us to finish the mission. Either he’ll make it back, or he’s already dead.” Sakura looked down. She hadn’t meant to be so blunt, but her teammates’ faces showed that they knew she was right.

“He’s not dead,” Naruto said suddenly.

“How could you possibly be so sure?” Sasuke asked.

“He can’t be dead,” Naruto responded. “I refuse to believe it.”

“What’re you three doin’ out here?” Professor Hagrid asked, following a bunch of fifth-years to the castle.

“Looking for you, sir!” Naruto said, thinking quickly. “I had a question about our essay and asked Sasuke and Sakura to come with me!”

“I don’t assign essays,” Hagrid responded, confused.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, sir! We meant to go to Professor Lupin!” Sakura dragged Naruto and Sasuke away, though they were stopped by Hagrid. 

“I saw yer professor run out here. You three have no reason to look for ‘im. Get back to the castle, he’ll be back soon.” Professor Hagrid let them go, and the ninjas exchanged looks.

“Yes, sir.” Sasuke led the group back inside.

“Did you find him?” Hermione asked when they got back. Sakura let her expression answer for her. “I’m sure he’ll come back soon.”

“Hopefully.” Sakura’s gaze went out to the giant doors. She didn’t feel like eating anything. She picked at her food, trying to feel hungry.

***  
Kakashi was exhausted. He’d had his Sharingan activated for far too long, and he wanted to curl up and sleep. Getting back to Hogwarts could wait a few days… He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to deactivate the Sharingan. He kept one eye closed as he replaced his mask and started walking in a direction, hoping against hope that he’d find someone who could help him. They’d have to be at least a little crazy to help him- he was a guy with a mask attached to a plain dark blue uniform. He also had one eye shut, which probably didn’t seem very normal, either.

Kakashi found a village. It was in the distance, but Kakashi knew that there would be people. He felt like he’d been walking for days. His legs were about to give out. He wished that Gai was there- his rival would certainly help him if he was there. Those were Kakashi’s last thoughts as he collapsed on the ground, exhausted and half-dead.

***  
That night, Kakashi missed the drawing of the Champions. Sakura watched as people cheered, booed, and talked about the Champions. No one was expecting a fourth,- especially Harry, who happened to be that fourth person- but Harry stepped forward anyways. Sakura couldn’t stop thinking and worrying about Kakashi. He couldn’t be dead. No way, no how. But could he? 

Professor Lupin was also strangely affected by the disappearance. For some reason, he blamed himself. Sakura talked to him about it- in no way was it his fault that Kakashi had jumped out the window and ran off. She felt like it was more her fault, but she didn’t mention that.

“I just hope he’s okay.” Lupin smiled sadly.

“He’s strong enough. He’ll be okay.” Sakura hugged Lupin before leaving to get to the common room.

“I can’t believe he just up and left like that!” Naruto shouted when they walked in.

“He’ll be back soon, I’m sure.” Sakura put a hand on his shoulder, though she was trying to convince herself just as much as him. 

A day of absence turned into a week. A week turned into two. On the fifteenth day, they were sitting at the table when a dark flash of blue drew Sasuke’s eyes to the front of the Great Hall. He immediately stood, and Sakura and Naruto followed him as they ran to Kakashi, who was limping and looked worse than they’d ever seen him.

“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto caught one of his arms as he collapsed, Sasuke getting the other. They hoisted him up, each of them taking an arm. 

“Hey.” Kakashi’s voice was scratchy from days without enough food, water, or sleep.

“Get him to the hospital wing.” Remus had ran up to the team. “Now.”

“No.” Kakashi coughed, blood soaking his mask. “I’ll be fine.”

The Great Hall had gone silent, and Madam Maxine ran down to the front of the room to meet the group.

“Kashi-poo!” She was blocked by Remus and Sakura stepping between her and Kakashi.

“Hospital wing,” Remus hissed, leading the students off. They made it out of the Great Hall and into a hallway away from the crowd before Kakashi struggled.

“No!” Kakashi coughed again, taking his arms off of his students’ shoulders and stumbling. “I’ll get to the forest. I’m not going to the hospital wing.”

“Yes, you are.” Sakura took his arm and pulled it over her shoulder, holding on tightly. “Naruto and Sasuke, you two go get his things. We’ll meet at the hospital wing. Professor, I could use some help making sure he doesn’t run off.”

Kakashi pulled his arm back, trying to get away. He wasn’t afraid of the hospital wing; he was afraid that they’d find out his secret. He stumbled away, passing out two steps away.

“Oh, my, what’s happening?” McGonagall asked, running toward the group. Sakura and Remus were working on lifting Kakashi, and they both looked up.

“Kakashi-senseu’s back,” Sakura said feebly.

“Get him to the hospital wing immediately.” 

Kakashi lifted his head, conscious again. Sakura knocked him out by feeding chakra into the back of his head. 

“What was that?” McGonagall stepped closer.

“He wasn’t agreeing to go to the hospital wing, so keeping him unconscious is probably the easiest way to get him there.” Sakura took a step, hoping that Lupin would follow. He did, and the pair started making their way to the hospital wing.

***  
“Why didn’t you three tell me that your teacher is a girl?” Madam Pomfrey asked the ninjas after assessing Kakashi’s body. They all looked surprised. Except Sakura. She just sighed.

“Kakashi-sensei is a guy that was born a girl.” Sakura stepped forward. 

“He what?” Naruto yelled.

“He was born a girl, but in his mind, he’s a boy.” Sakura looked at her teammate. “He let me practice my healing on him a few times, so that’s how I found out.”

“I’m right here,” Kakashi coughed from the bed they were all standing around.

“Sensei! Is it true?” Naruto asked. “How does that work?”

“If you were to take my blanket, I would probably look more like Sakura than you.” Kakashi’s face was red, and he was grateful the blanket had been pulled over his face. He refused to make eye contact with his team, though he knew it was pathetic.

“Really?” Naruto asked. Sasuke had just raised one eyebrow, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, er-” Kakashi looked away.

“You three need to go,” Madam Pomfrey was suddenly ushering the students out. 

“Why?” Kakashi asked. 

“Because you need to tell me exactly what happened. I need to know to treat you.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter I guess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured it out!!! Now, every time they speak Japanese, it'll be in italics, so it'll make more sense.

“We should know, too!” Naruto shouted. 

“Yeah. They can stay,” Kakashi said. 

“Fine,” Madam Pomfrey huffed. “Start from the beginning.”

“I went into the forest,” Kakashi started. “I was stupid and left tracks. I also didn’t watch where I was going and someone found me. I woke up and there was a group of people in dresses around me. They all had wands.”

“Dresses?” Madam Pomfrey asked.

“Robes,” Sasuke corrected.

“Oh.”

“There were lots of people, and I was tied up.” He switched to Japanese. “ _ They took my headband, so my Sharingan was activated and I couldn’t turn it off _ .”

“What did you just say in your native language?” Madam Pomfrey demanded.

“He just said that he was tired,” Sakura lied. “He complains a lot about things like that.”

“Anyway, I found a mark on my wrist while I walked away, and-”

“What kind of mark?” Madam Pomfrey asked, reaching for Kakashi’s arm.

“It’s on the other arm.” Kakashi pulled his left arm out from under the blanket, revealing a mark on his forearm.

“The Dark Mark,” Madam Pomfrey whispered. “We have to get Professor Dumbledore.”

“Wait! What does it mean?” Sakura asked.

“He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named places this mark on his followers. If you’re one of his followers-”

“I’m not,” Kakashi insisted. “They tried to kill me and threatened to kill my students.”

“But you escaped.” Madam Pomfrey clearly didn’t believe him. “How did you manage to escape some of the most powerful dark wizards in the world?”

“I summoned some clones and-”

“You summoned clones? What are clones?”

“Show her,” Kakashi said to his students. They all made a sign with their hands and an exact replica of each of them appeared. Madam Pomfrey’s jaw dropped.

“It’s one of the most basic jutsus,” Naruto said.

“And yet you still managed to fail at the Academy,” Sasuke smirked.

“Whatever!” Naruto yelled.

Kakashi couldn’t help but smile at his students. They never got along, but he knew that they would risk their lives for each other. He also knew some… other things about them.

“Now, you three, get out. Your teacher needs rest.”

“And shouldn’t you three work on homework?” Kakashi asked. “I heard that there’s a lot being assigned.”

“Fine,” Naruto sighed, following Sakura and Sasuke out of the hospital wing.

***

“I don’t think Kakashi-sensei is telling us everything,” Sasuke said when they got back to the common room. “There must be something he purposely left out to keep us from getting involved.”

“You’re right,” Naruto said. “We have to figure it out.”

“What?” Harry had walked up to them. “Is Professor Hatake awake?”

“Yeah.” Sakura nodded.

“What happened to him?” Ron asked, eagerly looking up from his essay.

“Ah, nothing. He sometimes just… goes off on his own,” Sakura lied. “He did it all the time back at home.”

“Yeah! He’s a little crazy in his mind,” Naruto says, putting his hands on his head to emphasize the ‘crazy’ point.

“So your school is like Hogwarts,” Hermione said distastefully. “Letting crazy people work there without any concern to the lives of the students or other faculty.”

“We don’t have many people in our area that would want to work as a teacher in the first place,” Sasuke said. “You’ve got to be a bit crazy to  _ want  _ to teach us.”

“Are you insulting Iruka-sensei?” Naruto asked. “He- he practically raised me!”

_ “No, you know that we’re lying because they can’t know what happened. You saw how the healer reacted,”  _ Sasuke hissed in Japanese.

“What do you think he’s hiding?” Ron asked.

“I dunno. He doesn’t really tell us much,” Naruto responded. “We have to figure out how to force him to tell us! We can trap him in the woods and-”   
  


“Can’t you just ask nicely?” Hermione asked. “I’m sure he’d tell you.”

“No. I don’t know how things are here, but where we come from, everything is very different,” Sasuke said softly. 

_ “If we lived here, we’d have been sent to prison long ago,”  _ Sakura said, switching to Japanese and smiling.  _ “I read about a prison called Azkaban, where they put people in. Apparently, people go insane from-” _

“Oh! Are you talking about Azkaban?” Hermione asked. 

“Yeah, Sakura says that we would have been-” Naruto was cut off by Sakura’s hand slapping over his mouth.

“Have you killed people?” Ron asked, horrified. Naruto and Sakura looked at Sasuke.

“I couldn’t help it.” Sasuke took out his knife and began fidgeting with it. “It wasn’t my fault-”

“You ran away to join him!” Naruto yelled, getting in Sasuke’s face.

“You two!” Sakura got between them, speaking Japanese to get her point across. “ _ Stop fighting and revealing classified information.” _

_ “Sorry, Sakura,”  _ Naruto grumbled, sitting back.

“Good.” Sakura tentatively moved away, still looking ready to pull them away from each other if she needed to.

“Yeah.” Sasuke glared at his teammates.

“What just happened?” Ron asked. “What do you mean you couldn’t help killing people?”

“I’m not gonna talk about it.” Sasuke crossed his arms defensively and looked away.

“Well then.” Harry stood up, breaking the awkward silence. “I’m gonna get to bed.”

“Yeah, same.” Ron gave Sasuke a look and followed Harry.

***

“There’s something up with them,” Ron said as he and Harry changed into pajamas.

“They’ve killed people!” Harry said. “And Sasuke said something about missions.”

“Yeah. What kind of mission sends you to go kill people?” Ron sighed. “Why would you agree to kill people?”

“Because we get paid.” Sasuke walked over to his bed, carefully hooking his weapons onto the side of it.

“My grandma told me that killing people is often better than alternatives,” Neville said softly from his bed.

“She’s right. There are lots of things worse than death.” Sasuke was clearly speaking from experience. 

“Yeah.” Harry sighed, also potentially from experience.

“So you get paid to kill people,” Seamus asked from the corner of the room. “Like an assassin! I’ve read about them-”

“We’re shinobi,” Sasuke responded. “We take whatever mission we can to help our village. It can be anything from saving a cat in a tree to infiltration and assassination.”

“So your village uses magic for bad and dangerous things,” Ron reasoned.

“We use chakra, not magic.” Sasuke sat on his bed, taking out an essay he had started. He used a book to cross-check his facts, writing swiftly. 

“What’s chakra?” Harry asked.

“It’s a type of energy,” Sasuke said. “There are different types, but it’s always used to complete jutsus that are used in battle. You don’t need a wand or anything, but weapons can be infused with chakra to make them more deadly. It can be used in other ways, too, but most shinobi use it in battle.”

“Are there people like Squibs who can’t use chakra?” Ron asked. 

“Yep. I know two people who can’t really use it, but they’ve become masters of taijutsu, so they can still fight well.”

“Can Professor Hatake use chakra?” Ron asked.

“Yeah!” Naruto was walking into the dormitory, and he grinned. “He’s really, really good at it! He and his dogs could beat up everyone in this school!”   
  


“There are more dogs?” Harry squeaked.

“He has eight. Not all of them talk, though. Don’t tell the others, but Pakkun’s probably his favorite,” Naruto said, sitting on his bed.

“Eight?” Ron asked. “Wow, there are nine humans living in my house and it gets messy, I can’t imagine having however many people and eight dogs!”

“Kakashi-sensei lives alone and his dogs are rarely summoned,” Sasuke muttered. “His house has no reason to be messy.”

“Jeez, take a joke,” Ron grumbled.

“Sasuke’s always like this,” Naruto reminded him.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE BACK BITCHESSSSSSS

**Chapter 17**

The next two weeks were full of questions. How would the Tournament really work? Would Kakashi get out of the hospital? What do dragons look like? Sakura was nervous but excited for the concept of a fire-breathing beast. 

They waited around, going to class and doing homework, until the day right before. Dumbledore stood to address the Great Hall at dinner.

“Tomorrow is the first challenge of the Triwizard Tournament. I expect each and every one of you to be there.” He launched into a speech about the safety of students and teachers alike. The ninjas ignored it.

_ “Hopefully Kakashi-sensei is up for it,”  _ Naruto said. 

_ “He’ll probably come whether Madam Pomfrey wants him to or not,”  _ Sasuke said.  _ “You know how he is.” _

_ “We can visit him tonight and remind him to not be stupid,”  _ Sakura said.

“What’re you guys talking about now?” Ginny asked. 

“We’re just wondering if Professor Hatake will be able to watch the event,” Naruto said.  _ “I mean, his chakra should be back by now, right?”  _

“Naruto, you know how long it takes him to heal,” Sakura sighed.  _ “His Sharingan was activated and he couldn’t control it- it was wasting lots of chakra without meaning to. You forget that you’re the only one here with a practically infinite chakra source.” _

“But I don’t- it’s not mine!” Naruto said, crossing his arms. “Kakashi-sensei has much more chakra than all three of us together, admit it.”

“Naruto, Sakura’s right,” Sasuke said. “Even if it’s not yours, you have an insane amount of chakra.”

“What’s chakra?” Ginny asked. 

“It’s what we call magic. Naruto’s comes from an outside source, so he uses it differently,” Sakura said quickly.

“How can magic come from an outside source?” 

“It just does,” Sasuke said. “We don’t question it, so neither should you.”

“Alright,” Ginny sighed. “Hey, you once said that you use wandless magic. Could one of you maybe show me after dinner?”

“Sure! I could show you now, if you want!” Naruto grinned and put his hands up, standing up.  _ “Sexy no-” _

“Nope! Naruto, we’re on a mission! Be mature!” Sakura smacked him over the head.

“Aw, man! It’s my own jutsu!” Naruto complained. “And it’s really powerful!”

“It doesn’t work on everyone,” Sasuke said. “You have no real way of knowing who it will and won’t work on. And it’s not even physically powerful- if anything, it inhibits your ability to fight.”

“Yeah, but it’s funny!” Naruto shot back.

“What does it do?” Ginny asked. 

“That doesn’t matter,” Sakura said. “There are literally hundreds of jutsus and Naruto chose to show you the most immature one out of all of them. After dinner, I’ll show you.”

“No, you won’t,” Sasuke said.  _ “They’re sending in another team since Kakashi-sensei’s out of commission. They want us to have at least four people- one to each dragon. It’s probably for the best- we’ll have more people in case the dragons get out of control.” _

“Do you know who it is?” Naruto asked.

“No, how would I know?” Sasuke asked. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably Gai-sensei and his team. It’d be smart to have a couple taijutsu masters on hand.”

“And we have to meet them?” Naruto asked. “You’re saying that we’ll have to deal with  _ bushy brows?!” _

“It was just a theory, Naruto.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Besides, they’ll probably only be here for a day or two.”

“Bushy brows?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow. She had been ignoring the conversation for the most part, talking to Ron and Harry, but Naruto’s nickname for Lee caught her attention.

“He has a name!” Sakura said, smacking his face. “Lee has saved my life multiple times, whereas  _ you _ have only made it worse!”

“You’re forgetting about how i saved your ass in the Chunin Exams! That Ino girl was controlling your mind!”

“I would have beaten her myself! I would have cast her out of my mind and beaten her body! You know how long it takes for a soul to get back in the body!” 

“You two!” Hermione sighed. “Stop fighting and if you would  _ please  _ explain what somebody was doing in your mind?”

“I think it’s a Yamanaka thing,” Sakura said, waving her question away. “Anyway, it would make sense to send in Team Gai. Do you know when they’re getting here?”

“Really soon,” Sasuke said. “Let’s get outside.”

And the ninjas walked outside, catching the attention of a few students but not many. 

“We can all see Kakashi-sensei when they get here,” Sakura said as they stood by the edge of the forest, waiting.

“My love, Sakura!” Lee walked out of the forest, grinning.

“You were right, Sasuke,” she said, pushing him away.

“Chase your YOUTH, Lee!” Gai yelled, walking out of the forest behind Tenten and Neji. Dumbledore followed behind them and said something to Gai, who nodded. Dumbledore walked off, going down to visit Hagrid.

“I can’t wait to introduce you guys to everyone here!” Naruto said, grinning. “Harry’s kinda mean and boring but he can be nice. Ron’s really funny, and Hermione’s really smart! And Luna knew what the Sharingan was!”

“Let us go see Kakashi in the hospital!” Gai said with a grin. 

“He’ll be very happy to see you!” Lee said.

They walked into the castle, Naruto going off about the castle, Lee listening, Tenten and Sakura chatting about wands and magic, Sasuke and Neji glaring at each other, and Gai just happy to be there. Luckily, the Great Hall had cleared and they could get to the hospital wing without meeting anyone.

“Hello, my eternal rival!” Gai said when they got to the hospital wing, where Kakashi was laying in a bed, Lupin in the bed next to him, new cuts all over him. “We are here because you are not able to do anything right now!”

“Hey, Gai.” Kakashi said. “As I was saying, wands are too flimsy to be a ninja’s weapon. We-”

“Kakashi!” Gai repeated.

“Yes, Gai?” Kakashi asked. “It’s good to see you. But I think I can handle myself.”

“Why do you have to be  _ so insufferably cool?”  _ Gai said, far too loud. “Just listen to me, rival!”

“Gai, I’m hearing everything you’re saying. But I think that Remus should be getting some sleep.” Kakashi’s eyes bore into Gai’s. “If you want to talk so loudly, we can go somewhere else so that you don’t bother everyone.”

“We are only here to remind you to stay here tomorrow,” Gai said. “You are too exhausted to get up.”

“I know,” Kakashi said. “I also know that my three students can handle dragons. They know more about magic than you and your students together.”

“Okay, my rival! I fully trust you!”

“Yeah, yeah. You guys should get some sleep. Sakura, show Gai-sensei to the Defense classroom, the rest of you follow Naruto and Sasuke to the Gryffindor dorms.” Kakashi waved them off.

***

“Who’re they with?” Ron asked when Naruto and Sasuke came back with three other people. One had a terrible bowl cut and green jumpsuit that left nothing to the imagination, another had two buns in her hair, and the third had white eyes.

“You think he’s blind?” Harry asked. Then the white-eyed guy stared right at him. “Guess not.”

“This is Neji, Lee, and Tenten,” Naruto said excitedly. “They’re also from our school!”

“Hello.” Hermione stood to shake the hands of the new people. “I’m Hermione.”

“Your friend thinks I’m blind,” Neji said with a smirk. 

“Oh, your friend could  _ not  _ be farther from the truth!” Lee said.

“Mhm.” Tenten smirked. “I wonder when Sakura’s coming back.”

“The classroom is kinda far from here, so it might take a while,” Naruto said. “Tomorrow’s the day of the Tournament event!”

“Yep.” Lee rocked back and forth. “I  _ will  _ help keep everybody alive!”

“Not if I help first!” Naruto got in Lee’s face, leaning in.

“Oi! Just kiss already!” Ron called, laughing. Naruto pushed Lee away and turned around, crossing his arms and glaring at Ron.

“I’m going to bed,” Sasuke said. “There should be three extra beds- Tenten, you should wait until Sakura comes back.”

“Alright.” Tenten nodded.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, the actual event is coming soon

It was the day. The first event was to commence in the afternoon, and Harry was stressing. When he woke up, he saw that Lee was already awake, his bed unmade and messy. Harry went down the stairs to see if he could find him..

“Two hundred eighty-nine! Two hundred ninety!” he was mumbling as he did pushups. 

“What’re you doing?” Harry asked.

“Training! I must be the strongest taijutsu master in the Hidden Leaf Village!” Lee said. “Three hundred! I get a thirty-second break now!”

“Did you really just do three hundred pushups?” Harry asked.

“No, after every hundred and fifty, I get a thirty second break to catch my breath! But Gai-sensei can do five hundred before he needs a break!”

“That’s because he can actually control his chakra,” Tenten said. Harry stiffened and turned to where she was.

“How long have you been up?”

“Five minutes, maybe? I dunno, it hasn’t been that long. But Lee’s been up a lot longer.”

“And you just accept the fact that he’s done three hundred pushups?”

“Yeah. He’s also done a thousand situps this morning, right, Lee?”

“Of course! I will also do a thousand squats because I cannot go on a run!”

“Dear Merlin, is everyone at your school this crazy?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, we’re all crazy in different ways,” Tenten said. 

“Even you?”

“Yeah. I mean, you’ve got the civvies, who are mostly normal, but once you become a genin, you’re surrounded by crazy people. It only gets worse when you reach chunin level.” Tenten fidgeted with a scroll. “We have Shikamaru, who’s really lazy, so I guess he’s sort of normal. Sakura told me that your version of normal is really different from ours, so I can’t really judge.”

“Yeah. They’ve all mentioned killing others a few too many times to seem normal to us,” Harry laughed. “Anyway, today’s the first part of the Tournament. I’m competing, but I’m really nervous about it.”

“Why? You just attack whatever’s coming at you and go for it. If something goes wrong, one of us’ll be in there in an instant to get you out. No biggie.”

“I mean, the lives of all four Champions are at stake-”

“You’ll be fine. I was in the Chunin exams, where there were more than seventy people in the Forest of Death, and I made it out. Even after Neji and I had to save Lee from some sound-manipulating guys from a snake-man’s cult. I still don’t get what happened, but we made it out and are here now.”

“Snake-man?” Harry asked.

“You’re talking about Orochimaru?” Sasuke asked, walking into the common room. His voice was low and threatening.

“Are we?” Harry asked.

“Yeah. Sorry, Sasuke. I didn’t know you were up. Anyway, let’s talk about the Tournament!” Tenten said, successfully changing the subject.

“Yes. I will protect everybody from any harm!” Lee said excitedly, jumping up.

An hour later, everyone was at breakfast. 

“Oh, Potter, who are you talking to?” Malfoy sneered, sidling up to the Gryffindor table. “The boy with a bowl on his head? The crazy blond?”

“Hey! My name’s Naruto Uzumaki and I’ll become Hokage one day, believe it!”

“Who’s this?” Tenten asked.

“Malfoy,” Harry sneered back. “Each of them could beat you in a duel, no problem. So if I were you, I’d shut my mouth.”

“They use wandless magic, don’t they?” Malfoy asked, refusing to shut up.

“I will use my Leaf Hurricane to beat you into a pulp!” Lee announced.

“Not if my father has anything to say about it.”

“Who cares about your father?” Naruto asked.

“Anybody with half a brain knows to stay  _ far  _ away from the Malfoys,” Malfoy said.

“And anybody with half a brain knows not to mess with the ninjas of the Village Hidden in the Leaves!” Naruto shot back.

“Alright, then. I challenge you to a duel. Right after breakfast, in the empty classroom by the Potions dungeon. Come with a second in case you need someone to help you up.” Draco smirked before sauntering off. 

“I accept!” Naruto said. “Sasuke, you’ll be my second!”

“I don’t want anything to do with your petty duel.”

“Sakura!”

“Naruto, you idiot! We can’t get into fights!”

“Oh, so  _ Sasuke  _ is allowed to fight Lee right before we have to turn in our Chunin Exam applications, but I can’t fight a guy who insults our village?”

“It’s different,” Sakura said before switching to Japanese.  _ “He’s one of the people we swore to protect. You can’t go fighting him just because he insulted you.” _

“Harry, will  _ you  _ be my double? Pretty please?”

“Yeah. I’d be more than happy to go up against Malfoy.”

“Harry, don’t do this!” Hermione begged.

“I won’t even need to take out my wand,” Naruto grinned.

“Naruto, don’t be an idiot.  _ We can’t show them our real strength!” _

“But he-”

“Dueling Malfoy isn’t that hard,” Harry said. “You just have to disarm him and he’ll be down and out. But you will need your wand to disarm him.”

“Nah, I think I’m gonna try to use our wandless magic stuff. Don’t worry, Sakura, I won’t kill him! I’ll just scare ‘im a bit.”

“In that case, can I come? I’d like to see some wandless magic,” Hermione said. “Maybe you can teach me!”

“Well, I probably won’t use  _ magic,  _ but I’ll just hit him hard enough that he never challenges me again!”

“Naruto, you insufferable little-”

“I think it’ll be fun to watch him beat up that guy,” Neji said. “Malfoy, or whatever his name is. He looks pretty weak, like most of the people here.”

“Take that back!” Ron demanded. “We are not weak!”

“Everybody is weak compared to our team,” Lee said. “With my taijutsu, Tenten’s weapons, and Neji’s Byakugan, we could probably destroy this entire castle. And if Gai-sensei helped-”

“Lee, you’re aware that there are protective measures all over the castle, right?” Sakura said. “We can’t break through them. I don’t think that even Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei working together could get through the defenses.”

“She’s right,” Hermione said. “I don’t know what kind of magic you use, but Professor Dumbledore’s spells over the castle protect it and make it Unplottable, so nobody can get through.”

“Dumbledore as in that old guy?” Neji scoffed. “I could take him down with an attack from here.”

“No, you couldn’t!” Ron insisted. “He’s the strongest person alive! He’s the only person that You-Know-Who fears!”

“No, I don’t know who,” Neji said, leaning back.

“Voldemort,” Harry said. “He’s killed hundreds of people and has a following of ‘Death Eaters’ that help him.”

“Sounds like that weird snake guy that left a mark on Sasuke,” Naruto said. 

“Snake guy who leaves marks?” Ron choked. “You’ve seen him… in person?”

“Naruto-” Sasuke warned.

“Yeah! Sasuke also had to fight one of his followers in the Exams. It was insane!”

“Those were the preliminaries,” Neji sighed. “If it had gotten too out of hand, a jonin would have stepped in. It wasn’t that crazy.”

“Yeah, but it was after the Forest of Death, so it was someone who had  _ survived that  _ and brought back two scrolls! And you’re still mad that you had to be stopped from killing Hinata!”

“I wouldn’t have killed her,” Neji said softly. “She’s of the Main Branch. If I had killed her, I would have been deemed traitorous and been killed as well.”

“What kind of exams include a Forest of Death and killing?” Ginny shot at them. “That’s crazy! You’re-”

“The Chunin Exams determine whether or not genin can become chunin. Becoming a chunin comes with more difficult missions and you’re not a student anymore,” Lee explained. “If you survive, pass, and are still mentally stable, you are considered an adult and can continue.”

“Wait, does that make you guys adults?” Hermione asked. 

“Yeah!” Naruto said. “You better believe it!”

“Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that…” Sakura said.


	19. Chapter 19

Naruto stood across the room from Draco Malfoy. Behind the boy, there were two chubby kids- he called them Crabbe and Goyle. Behind Naruto, Harry stood there, ready to attack. Hermione sat in the corner, watching how they moved. Neji was just there for the fun.

“Okay! Three, two, one, go!” Naruto yelled, jumping into action. Malfoy immediately took out his wand.

_ “Stupefy!”  _ he cried. Naruto leapt out of the way, leaving the spell to crash into the wall.

“Ha ha! This is fun!” Naruto yelled as spells flew at him. “Shadow clone jutsu!” 

Two clones appeared. Naruto and his clones closed in on Malfoy, each one punching him in the face before stepping back, laughing. Malfoy was left on the ground, terrified.

“You win! You win!” he screamed. “You’re insane!”

“That’s what I thought!” Naruto laughed, and his clones disappeared with a  _ pop. _

“What was that?” Hermione demanded when Malfoy had run off with his friends.

“A simple shadow clone jutsu,” Naruto said with a grin. “You just make the hand sign and a clone appears!”

“I would have gone with a genjutsu,” Neji said. “Maybe messed a bit with his mind. He was too cocky from the start.”

“Messed with his mind? Like that Ino girl with Sakura?” Hermione asked. They started walking, making their way to the edge of the classroom.

“Not quite. Ino transferred her mind and soul into Sakura’s, taking over and trying to make her forfeit the match. I play with emotions- I can tell what my opponent is feeling, before they even realise that they’re feeling it. My Byakogan can see everything.”

“Yeah! You basically tortured Hinata with all that. But she got you back,” Naruto laughed.

“Hm. That doesn’t change the fact that she’s still weak.”

“Without your eyes, you’d be nothing!” Naruto yelled. “I’d be able to beat you in an instant!”   
  


“You know that’s not true, Naruto,” Kakashi said. Naruto jumped and turned around to the source of the voice. Kakashi was leaning on Gai by the door. 

“What’re you doing out of the hospital?” Naruto asked. “You’re supposed to be resting!”

“And you aren’t supposed to be fighting with the locals.  _ Remember; the goal is not to be memorable. It’s to get the job done.” _

_ “But he insulted us! He called me crazy and-” _

_ “Naruto, if I fought everyone who called me crazy, we’d need a new graveyard,”  _ Kakashi sighed, shifting so that he wasn’t leaning so much on Gai.  _ “And Neji, I never thought you’d be one to stand by him for it.” _

_ “The boy was annoying. I would have killed him if we weren’t on a mission.” _

“Neji, please!” Gai sighed. “Do not back Naruto up in this!”

“Malfoy’s always like that,” Hermione said. “A duel won’t change anything about him. Professor, I was only there to learn about wandless magic. Harry, don’t you think it’s fantastic how-”

“Alright. Naruto and Neji, go get ready for the event. You- uh-” Kakashi paused, trying to think of her name, “Hermione, do whatever you need to do before then, I should get back to the hospital wing before she notices I’m gone.”

And with that, Kakashi and Gai disappeared in barely an instant, startling Hermione. 

“What did they- it’s impossible to Apparate on Hogwarts grounds!”

“What’s Apparate?” Naruto asked.

“Disappearing and reappearing somewhere else,” Hermione said. “It’s in Hogwarts: A History. It’s impossible to-”

“We heard you the first time,” Neji interrupted. “And I can assure you: they didn’t Apparate. They just do that sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Naruto said. “They sometimes just disappear.”

***

“Are you nervous, Harry?” Hermione asked. They were in the common room, working on homework.

“Yeah, of course I’m nervous! I could die- the dragon could get out and attack you and  _ you  _ could die-”

“It won’t escape,” Tenten said. “You’ll be fine. If something happens, Gai-sensei’ll come get you in an instant. “

“Yes. Gai-sensei is so fast, you won’t even be able to tell he’s moving!” Lee said from the corner.

“Put a lid on it,” Seamus called from the other corner. “You’re so loud!”

“At least he doesn’t set everything on fire,” Sakura pointed out.

“Woo, arson,” Ginny sighed from the corner. “It’s fun.”

“What’s arson?” Naruto asked.

“When you set things on fire illegally. Seamus seems to be really good at it,” Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

“Sasuke’s really good at setting things on fire, too!” Naruto said. “He uses his Fireball Jutsu and can-”

“Naruto, any good shinobi can make fire. It just takes a bit of chakra control, which you don’t have,” Sasuke said. 

“Not  _ any  _ good shinobi!” Lee argued.

“You know what I meant.”

“You still implied that I am not a good shinobi! I could beat you in a battle!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Sasuke sighed. “I could beat you no problem.”

“You sound like that Shikamaru guy,” Tenten said. “The one that gave up when he had Temari beat.” 

“No, I don’t,” Sasuke glared at Tenten. “I’m nothing like that guy.”

“You kinda do sound just like him,” Naruto laughed. 

“C’mon, we’re leaving in half an hour,” Sakura said. “We said we’d visit Kakashi-sensei before the event started.”

The six ninjas disappeared abruptly, leaving the wizards confused. 

“Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura and the other ninjas walked into the hospital wing, where Kakashi was talking to the nurse- Madam Pomfrey?- and sitting up on a small hospital bed.

“Ah, Kakashi told me that you’d be coming. He also told me that two of you are the reason he had to leave earlier today; would you like to explain?”

“No, not really.” Naruto grinned and put his hands behind his head.

“This idiot got himself into a duel.” Neji pointed at Naruto.

“And you were his second.” Kakashi pointed out.

“I wasn’t his-”

“He is right, Neji.” Gai was suddenly behind the students.

“We didn’t come here to be scolded like we’re kids!” Naruto said. “We should be getting outside soon to start the event!”

_ “Remember to keep everyone safe,” _ Kakashi said.  _ “Keep the mission in mind above anything else.” _

“Yeah, yeah,” Naruto said. “C’mon, let’s go!”

“We’ll be out there to watch,” Madam Pomfrey said. “But I can’t let Kakashi do more than walk.”

“I’ll see you outside.” Kakashi put his hand up to dismiss them, and they could see his smile through his mask.


	20. Chapter 20

“May I interview you?” A tall woman with… eccentric taste in clothing walked up to Gai, who was in the tent with the Champions. His and Kakashi’s students were outside in the audience with everyone else, though they were keeping an eye on the dragons.

“Of course!” Gai grinned. “I would be delighted to share my youthful experiences with you!”

“Fantastic! Now, first of all, who are you? What’s your name and occupation?” She took out a piece of parchment and a quill, setting them beside her. The quill hovered above the paper.

“I am Maito Gai, a shinobi from Konohagakure.” He glanced at the quill. “Who are you?”

_ With a wide grin, Maito Gai introduced himself, practically exploding with excitement. He wished to know who I was, as though he hadn’t heard of the Daily Prophet’s best writer. _

“Rita Skeeter, journalist. What is your role in this competition? There must be a reason you’re in this tent.”

“I am supposed to keep the Champions safe. If something were to happen with the dragons, I would be there in no time at all to save the Champion!”

_ He claims to be quick, saying “I would be there in no time at all to save the Champion.” We have yet to see this acclaimed speed and strength, but clearly Dumbledore trusts him. Can we? _

“Fantastic. And did any of your students attempt to enter the competition?”

“No, they are too young. They are also here with a different prerogative and goal.” 

“What would that goal be?”

“Ah, to- um- to learn.” Gai grinned blindingly, wishing that Kakashi was there to make him shut up. 

_ His students are here not to compete, but with a ‘different prerogative.’ Is there a chance that they are working with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? He grins widely to attempt to hide his clear mishap. _

“Who must not be named?” Gai asked. 

_ Claims not to know who He is. Playing dumb has always been an integral part of You-Know-Who’s followers. _

“Let us get back to the interview. How do you feel about these children going up to dragons? It must be very dangerous.”

“My own students have fought more dangerous enemies! These kids will be fine!”

_ With tears in his eyes but an excited determination, he claims that his students have been through more danger than dragons. What insanity could his students go through to be in more dangerous situations than students going against dragons?  _

“There are many things more dangerous than dragons.” Gai didn’t offer any elaboration. “And there are no tears in my eyes!”

***

Naruto sat in between Sakura and Ron, watching as the dragons roared and breathed fire. He wasn’t nervous, not in the slightest. Sasuke could breathe fire, too. No problem. He saw Kakashi-sensei in the crowd and immediately felt better. No- he wasn’t scared in the first place. Definitely not. Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t be able to do anything, but knowing that he was there helped anyway.

“Hello, everyone!” A voice boomed from somewhere. The ninjas turned and saw a man greeting the audience. He was wearing very over-the-top clothes and a wide grin as he started talking about the Champions like they were gods or something. 

“What’s his problem?” he asked Ron in a whisper. “He’s so  _ loud! _ I bet he watches girls in the bathhouse, like Pervy Sage.” __

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ron hissed back. “Ludo Bagman is amazing. He commentates professional Quidditch matches!”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Naruto turned his attention back to the announcement. 

“And first, we have Cedric Diggory, going up against the Swedish Short-Snout! Good luck, Cedric!” 

A boy stepped out of the tent by the arena, and a cheer erupted, high-pitched squeals coming from every side. He Transfigured a rock into a dog to distract the dragon, which Naruto thought was smart. He watched closely as Cedric ran for the golden egg. The dragon turned around at the last minute, burning his face. He let out a small yelp as he leapt out of the way of danger. The judges gave their scores, and Cedric nodded, panting as he walked away.

“Next up, Fleur Delacour against the Common Welsh Green! Good luck, Fleur!”

There was another cheer as a girl with long, flowing silver hair like silk walked out. She ran a hand through her hair, and Naruto looked to Ron, who was just as enraptured as he was. He’d seen Fleur and the rest of the people from Beauxbatons a million times at this point- at each meal, passing in the halls… but now, he could really watch her. She enchanted the dragon, and it fell asleep. She ran to the egg, but the dragon snored and fire came out of its nose, setting her skirt aflame as she ran by. Fleur shrieked and put the fire out by shooting water out of her wand.

“Third, we have Viktor Krum against the Chinese Fireball! Good luck, Viktor!”

Viktor pointed his wand at the dragon, mumbling something, and the dragon angrily reared as it was blinded. He sprinted for the egg, but the dragon crushed half of the real eggs as he ran, docking him points. He still managed to safely get by the dragon by darting around and running between its legs.

“Last but not least, Harry Potter against the Hungarian Horntail! You’ve got this, Harry!”

Harry stepped out and put his wand up. For a full minute, he stood still. Then, a broom flew towards him and he caught it, grinning and mounting it. He flew under the dragon, picking up the egg. He was easily the fastest, but when he was done, the dragon was mad. It flew up, breaking its chains. There were screams all around- anything from “it escaped” to unintelligible strings of swearing. The ninjas immediately jumped into action, jumping straight to the ground from the stands, ready for anything. The dragon breathed fire into the air. Lee was the first to jump.

“Lee, stop! You can’t beat it with taijutsu, it’ll kill you!” Sakura screamed as she made clones. Naruto did the same, summoning ten shadow clones.

“Byakugan!” Neji yelled. “Naruto, throw me!”

“What?”

“I see its chakra points! I can’t jump that high, so help me, you idiot!” 

“Alright!” Naruto boosted Neji into the air, and the Hyuga began attacking. He started at the throat, cutting off the fire. He moved to the wings, stopping it from flying as he cut off its energy supply. He held on tightly as the dragon fell back to the ground, and Neji prayed that everyone was out of the way. They fell to the ground with a giant thump, and Neji rolled off of its strong back, easily landing on his feet.

“You killed him!” A man ran toward Neji and the dragon. He had long, fiery red hair. 

“No, I didn’t. I cut off its chakra. It should be able to move again eventually.” 

“Since when do nonhumans have chakra points?” Kakashi asked, jumping down to join the ninjas on the ground. 


	21. Chapter 21

“I don’t know. I could just… see the points, just like with humans.” Neji was panting, and Lee held him up with an arm around him. “It took lots more of my chakra to get through, though.”

“Well done, Neji!” Gai gave him a thumbs-up, and Neji nodded gratefully.

“Everyone clear out!” McGonagall called to the Hogwarts students and the Champions. “Get back in the castle!”

That was the trigger for everyone to start talking again, amazed with the ninjas but still terrified that the other dragons might attack. They got into the castle without an issue, and McGonagall ran up to the shinobi.

“Thank you for protecting the students,” she said, her voice shaky.

“Just doing our job!” Naruto said, grinning.

“Professor Dumbledore and I had a meeting with the other teachers yesterday and we believe that it would be best if Gai, Neji, Tenten and Lee stayed at the castle until the exams are over. We spoke with your- what was it- Hokage, and he agrees. The more protection we can get, the better. We will have to get your students on our curriculum.” She turned to Kakashi. “I’m sure your students would be glad to help them with what they’ve missed.”

“Of course.” Kakashi nodded.   
  


“You six may go back inside.” McGonagall turned to the students. “I’m sure you have lots of homework to work on.”

“What do you want with us?” Kakashi asked, crossing his arms once the students were gone.

“What sort of training do you put them through. That  _ child  _ just took down a fully grown  _ dragon,  _ a Hungarian Horntail, no less!”

“Naruto helped him,” Kakashi said. 

“Is that supposed to  _ help?” _

“His family also has a special trait, like my Sharingan eye. It helps him see what part of the dragon to hit.”

“He could have  _ killed  _ the dragon!” the guy with long red hair yelled, walking over.

“You’re right.” Kakashi turned his attention to him. “But he didn’t. Who’re you?”

“Charlie Weasley. My brother Ron told me about you and your students.” Charlie reached out a hand, and neither Kakashi nor Gai took it.

“Now, what do you do to your students to get them to fight like that? They’re still kids, they deserve a chance to enjoy their childhood!” McGonagall was angry. She scared Kakashi almost as much as Tsunade.

“My students have enjoyed their Youth!” Gai said. “They waited a year before taking the Chunin exams!”

“Minerva, this is what the students want.” Kakashi smiled. “Most of them have wanted to be shinobi since they were very young.”

“Did you?” Charlie asked. “Did you two want to be ninjas from a young age?”

“Yes!” Gai said. “I wanted to prove that I am a strong shinobi and could beat Kakashi from when we were young kids!”

“Yeah, my father was a shinobi, so I didn’t get much of a choice, but I have always wanted to follow him.” Kakashi looked down. He didn’t want to think about his dad, but he pushed his point. “Same with Naruto. I mean, he was also kind of… not respected as a kid, so he wants to become the strongest ninja in the village. Sakura… I don’t really know about her motives, but Sasuke comes from a family of elite ninjas, so it’s only natural that he would want to… surpass them.”

“My students also wish to be strong- especially Lee!” Gai grinned. “He is becoming incredibly strong! He is already a taijutsu master!”

“But they’re so young-”

“Professor, I’ve been to Konoha, and there were ninjas younger than those guys. They all want to be great, really.” Charlie grinned. “I was told that there was a boy that became a chunin when he was six.”

“That’s insane,” Minerva said.

“I have been called insane quite a few times, thanks,” Kakashi said, slightly bitter. 

“Kakashi Hatake? Son of the White Fang?” Charlie asked, looking at Kakashi. “Why- that would explain the hair and-”

“That’s nice.” Kakashi looked away. “Where’d you even get that information?”

“The Hokage. He told me about your affinity with dogs and allowed me to study the one that spoke. Ninken are incredibly interesting.”

“Pakkun?” Kakashi asked.

“I believe so.”

“Did Pakkun let you study him? You have to ask the dogs before doing tests on them.”

“He was… hesitant. He didn’t want to be ‘studied.’” Charlie laughed. “He’s a very unique one. Can you still summon him?”

“Of course.” Kakashi met his eye again. “Not that I will.”

“Oh, of course. I should be going now.” Charlie waved and ran off.

“Can we go inside?” Kakashi crossed his arms and turned back to McGonagall.

“Alright. You’ll be back to teaching soon, yes?”

“If Poppy lets me. She’s very… adamant about me staying in the hospital. I could have been teaching last week, but she kept me back.”

“I’ll be sure to talk to her.” McGonagall nodded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I realize that I could have combined the previous chapter with this one... oops


	22. Chapter 22

“This makes no sense.” Tenten sat on a chair in the common room, staring blankly at the pages Sakura had told her to read. She could read English; that was something that the strange language ‘spell’ had guaranteed. Her teammates had similar looks of confusion on their faces, though, since they were reading ‘potions’ and the properties that they had. They had gotten wands, which they had heard were necessary for some reason, but hadn’t started with spells yet.

“Potions are weird,” Sakura said, looking down at the book on Tenten’s lap. “They have lots of properties that I’m still learning. Like, why do they work? How?”

“I’m going to learn the Wingardium Leviosa spell!” Lee announced. He pulled out his wand- in the shop, it was the only one that had done anything for him. The rest had only given the most feeble sparks, whereas that one had shot yellow light into the ceiling before fizzling out. The old Ollivander guy had given him a sad and sorry look, which he had quickly brushed off because there was nothing Youth and Spirit couldn’t fix.

“You have to be careful with spells,” Hermione warned him. “They’re very dangerous and you could get hurt.”

“Is it like the Lotus?” Lee asked Sakura. “Self-sacrificing yet very powerful?”

“No, Lee, you can use your wand as much as you want, but the Lotus and other jutsus like that are  _ not  _ to be used. Ever.” Sakura turned to him. “Spells are only dangerous if you pick a dangerous spell to use. With this one-  _ Wingardium Leviosa-  _ it’s powerful, but it won’t kill you if you use it too much.”

She made a kunai float with her wand, carefully placing it atop Lee’s head. 

“Wow! Sakura, that was amazing!” Lee tried it on the Potions book that Tenten had set on the table, and it twitched before falling back down. “I will have to try harder!”

“It’ll eventually come to you,” Hermione reassured him.

“I hope so,” Lee said sadly before his face lifted into a shiny grin. “I would love to have yet another form of fighting!”

“What classes do we have tomorrow?” Ron asked.

“Uh, Defense Against the Dark Arts first thing, then Transfiguration, then we have separate schedules from then on,” Hermione said.

“Double Transfiguration or Defense?” Harry asked.

“Defense, but we have it with the Slytherins. You guys need to stop relying on me for the schedule, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ron rolled his eyes.

“Does that mean that we have to learn the spells fast?” Lee asked. “Because-”

“No, we’re learning Patronus charms tomorrow. I doubt anyone will be able to make them after the first day.” Hermione rubbed her eyes. “I’m off to bed. Oh, and we have a Hogsmeade trip Saturday.”

“We should go,” Sakura said. “It’ll be fun.”

“And it’d be smart to get more of our bearings. We didn’t go last time because Kakashi-sensei was missing and you need a guardian signature to go, remember?” Sasuke said.

“Right.” Naruto nodded. “You guys should come with us.”

“What’s Hogsmeade?” Lee asked.

“It’s a village near here. I’ve heard there are great shops!” Naruto said with a grin. “I hope Kakashi-sensei gives us permission! I just know that Gai-sensei would be more than happy to have you three with us!”

***

Ginny watched as the ninjas talked with her brother and his friends. She watched Sakura in particular, working on her essay, berating Naruto… She wanted to ask her to go to Hogsmeade with her, just to walk around and maybe go to a shop or two, but she wasn’t sure if she’d say yes. So, she waited until all of the ninjas went to bed, knowing that Sakura probably wouldn’t finish the essay she was working on for a while. 

“Sakura?” she asked once all of her friends were gone. 

“Mhm?” Sakura barely even looked up.

“Ah- you know how we’re going to Hogsmeade day after tomorrow?”

“I’ll have to get Kakashi-sensei’s permission, but yes, why?”

“I was wondering if you’d want to go with me?”

“Sure.” Sakura went back to her essay. 

“Like, as a date?”

“Sure.” 

“Alright! Well, I’ll be getting to bed, then! Sleep well.”

“Alright.” Sakura signed her name on her essay and rolled it up.

***

Kakashi sat on his bed, sharpening his knife. Remus sat across from him, on his own bed.

“Tomorrow, we’re teaching the kids about Patronuses. You know how to summon them, right?”

“No.” Kakashi tossed his knife in the air. “I’ll let you teach the lesson. I already have summons.”

“You have to learn how to summon a Patronus, though. The Ministry is bringing dementors in to protect the students. It would be smart to know how to fend them off in case they attack you.”

“What do they do?”

“They take away your happy thoughts and then suck your soul out.”

“Sounds festive.” Kakashi laid down on his bed. He decided not to bring up the fact that there really weren’t many happy thoughts for the dementors to take away in the first place.

“You’re impossible.”

“And you love it.”

“Kakashi, I swear-”

“Hm?”

***

Sakura walked into the classroom, her teammates on either side. Patronuses. The spirit things that fly out of wands. That can’t be too hard. Kakashi was sitting in a chair, reading his book- as usual- and Professor Lupin was writing on the board.

“Everybody, please spread out and sit down. I’ll explain what we’re doing today soon.” Remus clapped, and the class sat down silently. “Since there are going to be dementors roaming around, Professor Dumbledore asked me to teach all of you to cast a Patronus. Does anybody know what the incantation is?”

“Expecto Patronum,” Hermione said, not even bothering to raise her hand first. “And you have to focus all of your happiest memories into your wand to cast it.”

“Perfect. Now, after me.  _ Expecto Patronum!”  _ A silvery wolf flew out of his wand. “Begin.”

There were shouts of  _ expecto patronum  _ around the room. Hermione and Harry were two of the first people to get it, an otter and a stag flying around the room. Sakura summoned wisps of silvery light, though nothing more came out. Naruto was left shaking his wand around desperately, getting nothing, and Sasuke couldn’t bring out any happy memories to focus into his wand (“why can’t we just focus our chakra into it? Chakra is much stronger than some happiness, right?”).

By the end of class, only a few people had summoned fully-fledged Patronuses. Remus assigned their homework (to summon a Patronus- he’d test them next class) and the students were off to Transfiguration. 

“We’re focusing more on theory today, so everybody, turn to page two hundred and fifty-seven.” McGonagall’s voice was tense. The class grumbled, but they knew the tone enough to not go against her words.

***

“Just because I got you out of the hospital doesn’t mean that you can come out here and exercise like this,” McGonagall said as she walked outside, where Kakashi was sparring with Gai. They were moving at inhuman speeds, and she could barely tell what was going on, but she could tell who they were by the green jumpsuit and silver hair. 

“It is only a bit of taijutsu,” Gai said as they leapt apart. “I will not hurt him.”

“He’ll hurt himself,” McGonagall insisted.

“No, I won’t. We’re just focusing on the basics.” Kakashi tightened his headband and walked over. “And for the record, I was about to hit him. That hasn’t happened with just taijutsu in over a year.”

“Mhm. Anyway, I have to be sure all of the teachers can cast a patronus, as there will be dementors all around.”

‘We’ll fight them,” Kakashi said. “They can’t be that powerful, can they?”

“You can’t fight a dementor,” McGonagall said. “They’re more like spirits than actual beings.” 

“Then we can just get away. We’re fast enough to evade them, so we don’t need to cast a Patronus.”

“It’s more to protect the students.” McGonagall crossed her arms. 

“Then we’ll lift them and run away with them. I don’t see why it’s an issue.” 

“Very well.” McGonagall walked away, and Gai took the opportunity to take Kakashi by the shoulder and punch him toward a tree. He hit it with enough force to break bones. “I told you you’d get hurt!”

  
“I’m not hurt.” Kakashi jumped back up and leapt at Gai. They went back to their inhuman sparring, jumping into the air and pushing away from each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that they don't actually learn about patronuses until fifth year or something, but (spoiler alert) I eventually want to have a bit of focus on Kakashi being unable to produce one. Maybe Sasuke, too. Still working on it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one's pretty short. The next one's longer, I promise!!!

The next day, the ninjas were sitting outside and watching the lake, where some Durmstrang students were swimming.

“Kakashi-sensei, there’s a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow,” Sakura said. “Professor McGonagall said that we’d need permission from a guardian, and technically, you count as a guardian for the three of us. D’you think that we could go?”

“Sure.” Kakashi had forgotten that he was technically their guardian. He figured that that was a good enough excuse to tease Sakura just a bit. “Are you going to ask Sasuke to go with you?”

“A- actually, no. Um, another student actually asked me to go with… them. I didn’t really get much of a choice from them, so I just said yes.”

“Alright, then, what’s… their name?”

“They’re a third year. You probably don’t know… them.” Sakura nodded, satisfied with her words. Kakashi could see right through her. A third year girl- likely in Gryffindor- had asked her to go and she was far too excited for her own good. 

“Alright, then. You can go. Just remember not to get too attached to-”

“KAKASHI-SENSEI!” There was a shriek from the water. Kakashi turned and saw Naruto flailing around. “Something’s got me!”

“Shit. Hold that thought.” Kakashi sprinted and dove into the water, swimming over to his student, who had taken a last breath as he slipped under, his hands splashing as he sank. Kakashi tried to open his eyes and see what had gotten his student, but the water was too dirty and all he could see was a light green as he felt around for Naruto. He felt the student’s jumpsuit and as he got closer, saw the orange tint to his clothing. Naruto shrieked as he wrapped an arm around him and dragged him to the side of the lake.

“What were you even doing out there?” Kakashi asked as he tossed Naruto on the ground.

“Wow, you really thought something had caught me?” Naruto laughed. “I must be a really good actor!”

“You bastard,” Kakashi growled, lifting Naruto and throwing him back into the water.

“Hey, he’s your student!” Hermione screamed, running over. “You can’t call him that and then just  _ throw him into the water!” _

“He can swim.” Kakashi looked out, where Naruto was struggling. This time, there was genuine fear in his eyes as he flailed. “Usually.”

He watched Naruto struggle until his student slipped under. Some Durmstrang students watched, but most of them just ignored him as he sank.

“I should probably get him out,” Kakashi sighed as he dove back into the cold water, swimming out to his student and dragging him out of the water. “You’re an idiot.”

“It looks like you’re not even wearing your mask!” Naruto gasped when Kakashi tossed Naruto onto the grass.

“Huh?” Kakashi reached up to his face, realizing that his mask was clinging tightly to his face, likely revealing all of his features. He pulled at it to loosen it- the water that had gotten in was also inhibiting his breathing, which was never good.“So that was on purpose to be able to see my face.”

“Maybe the first time. But something actually got me the second time!” Naruto rolled up one pant leg of his jumpsuit, revealing new cuts up his leg. Kakashi ruled it as some kind of fish and hoped it wasn’t poisonous. 

“That’s nice.” Kakashi ran a hand through his hair in a feeble attempt to dry it as he walked back to Sakura. “So, what’s her name?”

“Huh?” Sakura looked up, eyes wide. She lowered her face. “Ginny.”

“Weasley?”

“Yeah. She’s right over there.” Sakura pointed across the field, where a girl with long red hair was laughing with a bunch of other students. A couple boys were trying to flirt and tell jokes, but she brushed them off.

“Huh. I’ll be sure to tell McGonagall to let you and your teammates go to Hogsmeade.”

  
“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura grinned and ran off to Ginny. Kakashi smiled, conveniently forgetting to remind her not to get too attached to the locals. She deserved to live her childhood a bit. It was better than her desperate love for Sasuke, at least.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys- I'll be honest. I'm losing a bit of steam on this story. I've actually got an idea that's really similar. (the ninjas actually participate in the competition) I've also got one that's slightly different (the golden trio are from konoha families but don't know it and stuff happens), but I don't want to start those until I'm done with this one. So if the rest of this story feels a bit rushed, I'm really sorry. Just be sure to check my account in the next few weeks or so- I might actually have three Harry Potter/Naruto crossover stories because I'm slightly obsessed with the ideas....... I'll make it a series so you can find the stories 
> 
> anyway, enjoy the story my loves!!!!!!! <3

Sakura woke up and remembered the day- Saturday. Hogsmeade. Date with Ginny. Kakashi and Gai had given their students some ground rules- no murder, no terrorizing the locals, try not to fight, things like that. Sakura had felt bad about rejecting Lee’s dramatic and enthusiastic invitation out on a date, but she was excited to actually talk to Ginny and get to know her.

“Hi!” Sakura found Ginny in the common room. Neither of them were wearing the Hogwarts robes- just casual clothing. 

“We don’t leave for about half an hour, but Luna’s meeting up with us. She’ll probably tag along for most of the day. That’s okay, right?”

“Of course!” Sakura remembered how Luna knew about the Sharingan and made a mental note to see how much she knew and ask some pointed questions. She was also glad that there would be a third person in case it got awkward.

“Cool.” Ginny went back to the essay she was working on, and Sakura sat by her. “What ground rules did Professor Hatake set for you? He gave them in another language, so I didn’t really get it.”

“Simple things like no fighting, keep the weapons away- both literal and figurative, I don’t really get what he meant by that- he mostly just said things like that.”

“Did he really say both literal and figurative weapons?” Ginny asked, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah. What do you think he meant by that?”

“That was probably aimed at the boys, if you- uh- know what I mean,” Ginny laughed.

“What- oh.” Sakura felt her face transform into a disgusted expression.

“I have six older brothers. I’ve heard every innuendo on this planet.” Ginny laughed and blushed a bit. “He could also have meant us, you know, if he thought I was a boy.”

“No, he made me tell him who I was going with.” Sakura looked at the essay. “What’s this?”

“I have to write ‘I will not hex boys for staring at me’ a hundred times and turn it in by tonight. Professor Lupin didn’t find it very amusing when I hexed Colin after he stared at me weird.”

“Colin Creevey?” Ginny nodded. “Really?”

“Yeah. I also caught Harry watching me really closely and I may or may not have hexed him, too. The Bat-Bogey Hex is my specialty.”

“How many boys stare at you?” Sakura laughed.

“A lot. I swear, you don’t understand how annoying it is to have boys all over you.”

“No, one of my friends is really pretty and there are lots of guys after her. She’s got them all on hooks. It’s more useful than you might think.”

“What’s her name?”

“Ino. We used to argue over who would get to be with Sasuke.” Sakura laughed. “She works in a flower shop and still brings him flowers sometimes. Desperate bitch.”

“So she’ll be pretty jealous that you get this with him, huh? Or does she know-”

“Nope. She’s gonna kill me as soon as I get home. I also may have forgotten to say goodbye…” 

“That’s just great.” Ginny suddenly smiled. “Hey, let’s go get breakfast.” 

“Yeah. I’ll sit with you?” 

“Sounds good.” Ginny hooked her arm in Sakura’s as they walked down to the dining hall.

***

_ “Never would’ve thought that all three of my students would turn out like me,”  _ Kakashi laughed, sitting next to Gai.  _ “First it’s Naruto and Sasuke, now it’s Sakura.” _

_ “It seems you have a very good influence,”  _ Gai responded, taking a bite of eggs.

“It’s polite to let us understand what you’re saying at the table,” McGonagall said, a slight bit of spite poisoning her tone.

“It’s also polite to not intrude on conversation,” Kakashi responded coolly.

“Kakashi, would you like to tell us what you guys were talking about?” Remus asked, smirking.

“No, not really.”

“We were talking about his students,” Gai said. “They’re all growing up so fast!”

“Aren’t they also your students?” McGonagall asked. 

“No; Neji, Lee, and Tenten are my students.”

“Where we come from, each teacher only has three students, and jonin teachers teach them everything they know.”

“We all teach very differently!” Gai said. “I focus more on taijutsu and weapons, but Kakashi focuses a lot on ninjutsu with his students, since they all have  _ fantastic  _ chakra control! I also focus more on team bonding and positivity than Kakashi! That’s why all of his students are so unmotivated.”

“They are not-”

“What about magic?” Remus asked.

“That’s ninjutsu. Wandless magic, allowing the students to manipulate their own chakra. There’s also genjutsu, which is illusions,” Kakashi explained. “They both take chakra, which you need to be able to control to be worth two shits in a battle.”

“Then what’s taijutsu?” McGonagall asked. 

“Pure martial arts,” Kakashi said. “Gai’s a taijutsu master and Lee can only do taijutsu, so it’s only natural that that’s what they focus on.”

“Pure martial arts,” Remus repeated. “You make it seem like it’s all about fighting.”

“It’s more about tricking your opponent. A good shinobi never charges headfirst into battle,” Kakashi said. “Stealth is also important. My students could definitely use at least a bit of work on that front. You have to learn to throw away fear and stay grounded in battle.”

“You’re teaching students about battle at such a young age,” McGonagall said.

“I agree. They do not get the chance to live their childhood,” Dumbledore said. “They are all far too young to be more focused on keeping themselves and their teammates alive than learning and having childlike fun. I believe that nobody should have to be in real battle until they are fully matured, at least seventeen years old.”

“You must understand,” Kakashi started, “many students cannot have a real childhood, especially if their parents are ninjas. For many, becoming a shinobi is their only motivation to live.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Remus said softly.

“He is,” Gai responded. Kakashi tensed, not wanting Gai to share or make him share. Gai stopped him from freaking out by placing a calming hand on Kakashi’s knee. Kakashi flinched slight before returning to an emotionless state, his head resting on interlaced fingers.

“Don’t we need to get the students to Hogsmeade soon?” Kakashi asked, changing the subject.

“We still have half an hour,” Remus said. The food had only just appeared in front of them. “I’ll have to show you around the town. You can come, too, Gai.”

“I will find my way around with my students!” Gai said. “We will have a day of team bonding!”

“Sakura’s got a date with one of your students,” Kakashi said to McGonagall. “A Gryffindor third year.”

“Who?”

“Ah, I don’t think she would want me sharing that. But Sakura’s a good kid. She probably won’t kill your student.”

“That’s… reassuring.” McGonagall stood. “Everybody, if you are going to Hogsmeade, please get in a line at the front of the Great Hall.”

***

“Hello.” Luna drifted over to the Gryffindor table, squeezing between Ginny and Sakura.

“Hey, Loony,” a few Gryffindors laughed.

“Don’t call her that!” Ginny said, pointing her wand threateningly. They shut up, clearly terrified of Ginny’s hexing abilities. “Anyway, you two already know each other, right?”

“Yep.” Sakura looked at Luna. “She knows… things about where I’m from.”

“I think that kekkei-genkais are very intriguing.” Luna nodded.

“What are-”

“Bloodline limits. They’re abilities that only certain clans or families possess, like Neji’s Byakugan or Sasuke’s Sharingan. They’re both Dojutsu, or a kekkei-genkai in the eyes.”

“Doesn’t Professor Hatake also have the Sharingan?” Ginny asked. 

“Yes.”

“So he’s in the same family as Sasuke?” 

“It’s complicated,” Sakura said. She’d never really questioned it, but it did seem weird. She had heard of the stealing and transplants of bloodline limits, but she doubted that her sensei would steal somebody else’s eye. She just hoped that Ginny wouldn’t think of it.

“That’s cool,” Ginny said. “Is it possible to steal an eye?”

_ There goes that. _

“It is possible, but it requires much more chakra to use if the new user doesn’t have the proper genetics to use it. I don’t think that Kakashi-sensei would steal somebody else’s eye.”

“He scares me,” another third-year put in. “He’s always got his weapons and that mask freaks me out. I want to know what’s under it.”

“So do I.” Sakura smiled. “He’s never let us see his face, and trust me, we’ve tried to get him to.”

“But he never does magic, so he can’t be that special,” yet another third-year put in. “If he can’t use a wand, he’s not dangerous.”

“We use wandless magic,” Sakura explained. “I think it’s a lot more dangerous. It can also be self-destructive if you open gates or use it wrong, but you can do so much more without a wand than with.”

“What do you mean, ‘open gates?’” Luna asked.

“Everyone has gates that limit the flow of chakra. If you open them, you can use more chakra and you are more powerful. Lee, for example, opened five gates in battle once. It tore his muscles apart and they said that he’d never fight again.” Sakura paused, remembering the event. “He still lost his match, but he was moving faster than you can see. If he had opened all eight gates, I don’t know what we’d have done.”

“Why?” Ginny asked.

“If you open all eight gates, you’re basically guaranteeing your death. You’ll be incredibly powerful for however long you have them open, but the end product is death.”

“That’s scary,” a first year whispered. “Have you ever opened any gates?”

“Nope. I don’t think either of my teammates have, either.” Sakura paused. “But Naruto… he’s tapped into enormous chakra reserves in other ways. And Sasuke, too. It’s just… different from how most ninjas do it.”

“What did they do?” Luna asked. “I know that Naruto has the Nine-”

“Stop!” Sakura pressed a hand over her mouth. “How… how do you know?”

“When my father came back, he told me about something he had overheard… they said that Uzumaki Naruto would be the holder of the demon and that the population would be forbidden-”

“That’s enough.” Sakura covered her mouth again. “That’s… that’s all true, but it’s much deeper than that.”

“Does Naruto tap into the chakra of the Fox?”

“I think so,” Sakura said. “I don’t fully understand it, but I’ve seen it in action and it’s terrifying. Anyway, I hope we can leave soon. I’m- I’m excited to see Hogsmeade.”

“Yeah. I’m excited to show you around.” Ginny grinned.

“So we’re just going to ignore the fact that you just told us that Naruto has a demon?” one of the third-years asked.

“Yep.” Sakura took a bite of her eggs. “I shouldn’t have said it in the first place, so we’re going to skip over it and forget I even said it, alright?”

  
“O-okay.” The third-year sighed. She had clearly wanted an interesting story.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had some caffeine and now every two seconds i have to stop writing to flappy hand stim because caffeine make my hands and brain go brrrrrrr okay adios my loveliesssss

“Where should we go?” Naruto asked Harry as they walked down the street of Hogsmeade.

“Honeydukes,” Harry said definitively.

“Ooh, yeah.” Ron grinned. “You’ll love it there. I also told Fred and George I’d meet them at Zonko’s later today.”

“Those are the dumbest names I’ve ever heard,” Sasuke said, crossing his arms. “Honeydukes? Zonko’s?”

“No, they’re not!” Ron said. “Fred and George want to open up a joke shop of their own. Call it Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.”

“That’s so cool!” Naruto gushed.

“Yeah. Hey, there’s Professor Hatake’s weird little dog,” Ron said, pointing as a pug walked down the street. “Wonder what the hell he’s doing out here?”

“Hi, Pakkun!” Naruto said.

“Not the talking dog,” Hermione groaned under her breath.

“Hey. Kakashi sent me to watch over you so don’t do anything dumb.” Pakkun followed the group lazily as they walked down the street.

“Stop talking; you’re scaring people,” Sasuke said. “See the locals?”

“Aw, are you  _ scared?”  _ Naruto teased. “Or embarrassed?”

“No, I just don’t like it when people stare at us. They’re freaked out by a talking dog.”

“C’mon, Sasuke, it’s fine.” Ron rested an arm on Sasuke’s shoulder. 

“Don’t touch me,” Sasuke responded, shrugging Ron off.

“Jeez, Sasuke, why do you have to be such a  _ loser?”  _ Naruto asked, tossing an arm around Ron’s shoulders. Ssauke’s face held jealousy for a split second before he rolled his eyes and turned away.

“I’m not.”

“Aw, you can get in the hug, too!” Naruto slung his other arm over Sasuke, who ‘grudgingly’ let him.

“Ay! No PDA!” Pakkun called as Naruto rested his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. 

“We’re not, you bastard!” Naruto yelled at the tiny dog. “And even if we were, what’s the issue? I’m sure you’ve seen Kakashi and Gai getting it-”

“Kakashi told me to keep you two from being too close. He used the specific words ‘horny teenagers,’ if I’m remembering right.”

“So that’s why Sensei sent you after us,” Sasuke mumbled. 

“What’s he talking about?” Harry asked.

“Nothing!” Naruto laughed nervously, murderously glaring at the dog. “Absolutely  _ nothing.” _

“Stop looking at me like that, kid. Kakashi was the one that sent me.”

“Fuck off, Pakkun,” Sasuke sighed, rebelliously taking Naruto’s hand.

“Hey, watch your language!” Hermione said.

“Yeah, kid, don’t you think you’re a bit young to be talking like that?”

***

“What… is this place?” Sakura asked. She was walking into Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop, which was decked out in pink. It was really bright, but Ginny and Luna seemed fascinated and drawn by it, convincing her to go in with them.

“Madam Puddifoot’s. I’ve been wanting to take someone here- it was where my mom brought my dad on their first date.” Ginny smiled. “Not that I necessarily want kids or marriage yet or ever or anything, but, uh, it’s cute, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Sakura looked around, quickly taking note of everyone inside. She watched as Luna kind of just spun around and did her own little thing in her own little world, following Ginny’s general path to a table.

***

“How do girls  _ wear  _ these things?” Kakashi grumbled, pulling on the hem of the fuzzy robe he was wearing. He’d put on a genjutsu and gone with Remus to Madam Puddifoot’s- he had to keep an eye on his student; be sure she was alright.

“Kaia, stop complaining,” Remus sighed. Kakashi was using the name Kaia and he knew exactly why they were going, but that didn’t stop him from hating the aggressively pink store. He could see the disgust on his ‘date’s’ face.

“Alright,” Kakashi said. Remus watched as Kaia fiddled with the jacket he wore over a robe. It was ‘genjutsu,’ which was apparently an illusion, but Kakashi could actually feel the fabric.

“We should order something. Don’t want to seem suspicious,” Remus said softly, taking Kakashi’s-  _ Kaia’s, _ he thought, correcting himself- hand. It was soft. He knew it was a genjutsu- he 100% knew- but it was nice. Of course, he wasn’t  _ with  _ Kakashi or anything, but he was cute, even in his girl form.  _ Curse him- no, her- no, them, dear god why do I have to be bisexual?  _ Remus thought with a small sigh. The flirting was starting to get to him.

“Yeah. They look happy.” He looked over at the students, though he was subtle. 

“Don’t watch them,” Remus hissed. “They’ll catch you and it’ll be awkward.”

“I’m a shinobi. I can tell if they get suspicious,” Kakashi whispered. “Plus, I’ve been teaching Sakura for years. I know how her expressions work.”

“Okay, then,” Remus sighed. 

“Professor Lupin!” Ginny called from her table. “You’ve got a girlfriend!”

“Ah, yeah!” Remus blushed.

“I’m Kaia. You must be one of his students.” Kakashi smiled down at the girl. 

“Ginny Weasley.” Ginny shook his hand.

“I’ve heard great things about your family. And who are they?” Kaia motioned to the girls at the table.

“Luna Lovegood and Sakura- uh-”

“Haruno,” Sakura finished, walking over. She studied Kaia, her eyes resting on the white hair that Kakashi had decided to keep. “So, should we call you Kaia? Or by your family name? What is your family name, anyway?”

“Ah- you can call me Ms.- uh-” Kakashi took a second to think of a surname but he began rambling like lots of girls would. He also ran a hand through his ponytail, swishing his hair in a way that he hoped was convincing. “Hake. Like, Ha- but then Kay. You know? Sorry, it took me a second to remember, it’s sometimes hard for me-”

“What’s that book?” Sakura asked, pointing at the orange book poking out of Kaia’s bag.

“Uh, it’s for my… work. It’s… research.”

“Can I see it?”

“No.” Kaia pushed the book lower in her pocket.

“Well, what is it?”

“Potionmaking,” Kaia blurted out. “I’m developing new potions for the-- uh- Ministry.”

“Can I see the cover? I’m really interested in potionmaking and if you, a professional, is reading it, it must be good!” Sakura grinned convincingly. Kakashi knew what she was doing, but he tried to convince her that he was just someone else.

“Uh-” 

“Make-out paradise.” Sakura had grabbed the book. “Sensei-”

In a puff of smoke, Kaia became Kakashi again, snatching the book back.

“If it makes you feel any better, I sent Pakkun to watch the boys.”

“Sensei, you creep!” Sakura smacked him upside the head with the book before handing it back and crossing her arms.

“I’m making sure you guys don’t… break conduct while in the village.”

“What conduct?” Sakura asked. At this point, she had a smug smirk on her face.

“The third rule of mission conduct is that ‘no ninja may engage in- uh- non-mission related romantic or sexual endeavours.”

“You’ve broken that multiple times, Sensei,” Sakura laughed. 

“How did you know about-”

“Gai isn’t exactly the quietest of people, especially in, uh, situations. Anyway, I think the three of us are gonna go now. See you at dinner.” Sakura turned back to Ginny and Luna. “So, what’s the plan?”

“You  _ what?”  _ Remus asked.

“That was one time,” Kakashi grumbled. 

“She said several times.”

“Girls are dramatic.”

“Well, what’re we doing now? I don’t think we should really be staying here.” Remus crossed his arms. “It’s a bit too… pink for either of us.”

“You go back to the castle. You look tired. I’ll keep an eye on Sakura and study the village.” Kakashi walked out of the store.

“I look-” Remus looked to his side. Kakashi was gone. He looked around and saw the man jumping across rooftops. 

***

“Hey, Sensei!” Naruto looked up at a roof, seeing a flash of blue, green, and white up there. 

“Yo.” Kakashi leapt down, landing next to his students, not even looking up from his book.

“Bloody hell, did you just-” Ron’s eyes were wide.

“Why are you still surprised?” Sasuke asked, his eyes narrowing. “Anyway, where’s Sakura?”

“She’s got a date.” Kakashi smiled under his mask as Naruto’s eyes bugged out and Ron scowled.

“With who?” Ron asked.

“Can’t tell you.” Kakashi smirked as Naruto began arguing. 

“You can tell us! She’s our teammate! We need to know-”

“Nah. Anyway, I’m gonna go for now.” Kakashi disappeared. Ron and Harry were left in shock, and Hermione just shrugged.

“You two do need to stop being so surprised. I found a book on  _ their wizards  _ in the Restricted Section.” Hermione opened her bag. “I got a note from Professor McGonagall to search.”

“That old hag-”

“Naruto, it’s not worth complaining. It’s not like it’s even up-to-date,” Sasuke sighed. 

“What’s the Restricted Section?” Naruto asked.

“It’s where the more dangerous books are. You need a pass to check out a book from there, so don’t even bother.”

_ “I bet Kakashi-sensei can give us passes,”  _ Naruto said to Sasuke. Sasuke shrugged.

“If you want a pass, you need a Hogwarts teacher’s permission. I don’t think Professor Hatake can give them out,” Hermione said. “That  _ is  _ what you were talking about, right?”

“Aw, man! I’ll just have to find-”

“Dobe, don’t say that out loud!” Sasuke smacked Naruto on the back of the head.

“Oh! Yeah!  _ Sorry, Sasuke! I’ll just have to genjutsu into McGonagall and get in that way!” _

“That’s… actually smart,” Sasuke admitted.

“Yeah!” Naruto grinned.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all just a quick reminder that this story was originally gonna be like 3-5k words but then it got out of hand... i just think it's funny that i can't fucking control myself

“Sakura!” Naruto ran into the common room with Harry and Ron close behind. Sasuke and Hermione had gone to a bookstore, so they were behind. “Who were you on a date with?”

“Who told you I was on a date?” Sakura asked. Ginny, who was sitting next to her, looked up, too.

“Kakashi-sensei did! I asked him where you were and he told me you were on a date but he wouldn’t say who you were out with! That’s why we’re asking you!”

“Oh. Well, I was on a date with… myself.”

“No, you weren’t!” Naruto insisted. “C’mon, tell us! Or at least me!”

“I don’t feel like it.” Sakura turned back to Ginny. “Anyway, there are 361 tenketsu on the human body. As I’ve already said, they are chakra points, where chakra flows through.”

“But what  _ is  _ chakra?” Ginny asked.

“Hey! You’re just gonna ignore us?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah.” Ginny looked at the diagram Sakura was drawing.

“Ginny, do you know who Sakura was out with?” Harry asked.

“Yeah.”

“Who?”

“Your mum,” Ginny deadpanned.

“Ginny-” Harry frowned.

“I stand by my words.” 

“Ginerva Weasley!” Ron yelled. “You can’t just say that about Harry’s mum!”

“What?” Sakura asked.

“My mum’s dead.” Harry’s face was just as emotionless as Ginny’s. It would have been funny if not for the… issue of the dead mother.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Sakura looked down.

“It’s okay.” Harry stretched his arms. “It’s not your fault, anyway. I’ve got homework to do.”

“So do I,” Ron said, glaring at Ginny one last time.

***

“That was a fantastic team bonding exercise!” Gai said. His team had gone to Hogsmeade and walked around. 

“Team bonding?” Neji scoffed.

“Yes! That was very fun!” Lee said as they made their way back to the Gryffindor common room.

“Yeah, yeah. I wonder what Kakashi-sensei’s team did,” Tenten thought aloud.

“Kakashi told me that Sakura got a date,” Gai said. “He said that she got a date with a Gryffindor girl.”

“She what?” Lee asked. “Oh, no! Now I cannot get her to fall into a Youthful Love with me!”

“There’s still hope, Lee,” Gai said, “but she can share her Love and Youth with a girl, too! I know people that have shared a Youthful Spirit of Love with both girls and boys!”

“Really?” Lee’s eyes shone as he looked up at Gai.

“Yes!” Gai grinned, giving his student a dramatic thumbs-up. “So you can still make her fall deeply into Love with you!”

“Yes!” Lee punched the air.

“C’mon, Lee,” Neji sighed. “She’s not gonna fall-”

“Neji, stop crushing his dreams!” Tenten laughed, slapping Neji’s arm. 

“I’m just being honest.”

***

“So… Minerva told me that you became a ninja when you were really young,” Remus said. “After the first event.”

“Yeah, and?” Kakashi was reading over an essay- he’d learned how to grade them, and Remus was making him help.

“How old were you?”

“Six, why?”

“I- that’s crazy to me.” Remus turned away from the essays. “You… you had to fight and go into battle when you were even younger than our students, right?”

“Yeah. Most shinobi don’t even become genin until they’re twelve.”

“Why did you, then?”

“Because I could.”

“Weren’t your parents worried?”

“No,” Kakashi scoffed. They can’t be worried if they aren’t there. He chose not to tell Remus that part- he didn’t want it to become more awkward and emotional than it already was.

“Dang.” Remus turned back to his essays. “So they were both ninjas?”

“Yeah.” Kakashi wasn’t sure about his mom, but he knew  _ very well  _ that his dad was a ninja.

“Bill Weasley said that your father was the great White Fang. I- I don’t know who his is, but I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Okay.” Kakashi noticed that he was grading Sasuke’s essay, so he decided to leave a little note in Japanese.

_ Have lots of fun with Naruto. But be careful- there’s a demon in that boy. _

He put a little heart after the note and rolled it up, next to the others. Sasuke would probably threaten to murder him- not that it would be the first time- but it was okay. Anything to torture his students in little ways.

“C’mon. Let’s get to dinner,” Remus said after a few seconds of awkward silence. Kakashi knew that silence made everyone uncomfortable, so he often used that to his advantage.

“M’kay.” Kakashi followed Remus to the Great Hall, where they sat with the rest of the teachers.

***

“Hey, Sakura, wanna join us at the Ravenclaw table?” Ginny asked.

“Sure!”

“I think that that is the girl Sakura went on a date with,” Lee whispered to the ninjas and Gryffindor trio.

“What?” Ron hissed. “That’s my sister!”

“So?” Neji asked with a smirk. 

“But- Sakura-” Ron sputtered.

“I am sure she is with somebody who truly deserves her!” Lee said with tears in his eyes.

“C’mon, Lee, don’t cry,” Tenten begged.

“These are Manly Masculine tears. I am not crying,” Lee insisted.

“Manly… masculine tears?” Harry asked, blinking confusedly.

“Yes! Gai-sensei taught me that it is okay to cry in times of great emotion! It is very manly and strong to cry!” Lee let the tears fall down his face.

“Lee! Stop embarrassing us,” Neji hissed. “He doesn’t speak for the rest of us.”

“Right.” Naruto nodded.

“You guys are the worst,” Tenten said, placing a hand on Lee’s back. “Stop teasing Lee; you’re gonna kill him.”

“I am okay!” Lee said, tears streaming down his face.

***

“What’s Lee crying about?” Kakashi asked Gai, sighing.

“It is probably his Youthful Spirit and Adolescent Hormones getting to him!” Gai said, looking over at his student.

“Ado- Gai, there are a million ways to phrase that better,” Kakashi groaned.

“Like what, my Rival? I would like to improve!”

“Gai, we’re eating dinner. I can help you with your… language skills after we finish.”

“But you have been done for five minutes!”

“But everyone around us is eating.”

“That is okay,” Gai said.  _ “They cannot understand us if we speak in Japanese.” _

_ “Okay.”  _ Kakashi refused to make eye contact with Gai.

_ “What do you think that I should say instead of Adolescent Hormones?” _

_ “Literally anything, Gai. Or you could always just leave that part out.” _

_ “But it is very important!” _

_ “Not really.”  _ Kakashi picked a piece of chicken off of Gai’s plate and ate it, ignoring Gai’s halfhearted complaints about needing all of the food on his plate. 

***

That evening, Harry, Ron, and Hermione crowded close together.

“I found some information,” Hermione whispered. She pulled out a book called  _ Wizards and Shinobi- The Differences and Long History Between Them.  _

“What?” Ron asked, leaning in. “Merlin, that’s a big book.”

“I’m only about a third of the way done, and I’m mostly just skimming through it, but I made some bookmarks.” Hermione turned to the first of the marked pages. “Here. See this diagram? It shows something called ‘chakra,’ which all shinobi possess. It says that any good shinobi can manipulate it and use it in jutsus, which are how they fight. Their training is much more duel-heavy than ours.”

“We knew that already,” Harry said softly.

“But here it says that they are trained to throw kunai- which are a kind of knives- from the time they’re just kids. Here, it says that Konohagakure is the most advanced and friendly of the ninja villages.” Hermione was flipping through the book. “I’ll get more detailed notes later, but even though Konoha is somehow the most advanced and friendly, it’s also very new. Less than two hundred years ago, it was formed. And all of the villages call their leaders Kages, although each Kage is different.”

“This is so confusing,” Ron groaned. “Why can’t they just be normal?”

“Ron! I’m sure this is normal to them! Anyway, this is the only book we have on them, so I’m going to trust it. This book is relatively new, so it’s still relevant.”

“How old?” Harry asked.

“Four years. Now, do you want me to keep giving you two information or no?” Harry and Ron nodded furiously. “Okay…”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one:  
> Me: *changes writing style and characterization 100 times in the same fic*

Weeks later, McGonagall had insisted that everyone attend the dance class coming up.

“Sakura, will you attend the dance class with me?” Lee asked bravely. Sakura was still with Ginny- though she hadn’t told her teammates, they knew- but Ginny wasn’t going to the class, so maybe he had a chance.

“Yeah, sure.”

“And the dance?”

“Lee, we’re not going to be dancing.”

“But you’ll go with me?”

“No.”

Lee’s dreams were crushed once again. Sure, he’d get to take Sakura to the Fun Class, but she wouldn’t want to go to the Ball with him! That was a certain issue!

  
***

“Kakashi, you’re going to the dance class, right?” Remus asked.

“No.”

“Minerva’s forcing me to go. She says I’ve been bad at dancing since I was a kid. I mean, she’s not wrong, but still.” Remus paused. “Will you come with me? I heard Gai’s also going. He told me something about the ‘Youthful Spirit of dancing’ and I don’t want to be stuck with that alone.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Kakashi laughed. “I’ll go with you. It’ll be funny.”

“Kakashi, please-”

“Yes?”

“Nevermind,” Remus sighed. “It’s tomorrow, right after breakfast. Don’t miss it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

***

“I don’t dance,” Harry said when McGonagall had told him that he  _ especially  _ had to go to the dance. 

“You must. I’ll see you and the rest of the class after breakfast tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Harry knew better than to contradict her a second time.

***

“Good. All of you made it.” McGonagall pointed to a table. “Sit. And if you don’t fit, stand by it.”

Kakashi stood in the corner, watching the class watch as McGonagall explained.

“Kakashi, come here,” she said, her eyes going to the corner.

“Why?”

“Because I’m not going to make any of my students dance with me.”

“What about Remus?” Kakashi’s voice was calm; he was careful to keep any traces of whining out. He could see Minerva getting annoyed.

“He was once my student. Now get over here.”

“Gai’s a much better dancer than me- plus, he actually wants to be here.”

  
“Kakashi-”

“Geez, are you desperate or something?” Kakashi walked over to her, putting a sarcastically flirty movement into his walk.

“Okay, so once all of you have a partner, boys, you will take the girl’s left hand in your right, and place your left hand on her hip.” Minerva reached for Kakashi’s hand. She was the same height as him- maybe even an inch taller. Kakashi blamed it on the heels and let her take his hand, resting his hand on her hip as she instructed. 

“Yes, Kakashi! I can feel your Youthful Spirit from here!” Gai called.

“I will murder you and leave your body in the forest for the centaurs to eat,” Kakashi said, his voice ironically calm.

“Kakashi, we do not threaten other teachers,” Minerva sighed.

“Is that a challenge, my Rival?”

“No!” Kakashi let go of Minerva’s hand and turned to Gai. “Gai, I intend to keep at least a shred of my dignity while we’re here.”

“But Kakashi-”

“No.”

“That is another win for me!” Gai said enthusiastically.

“Let’s go, Sensei! I believe you are ahead by two points now!” Lee yelled from the table.

“Let’s get back to the lesson!” Minerva said, and Kakashi nodded.

  
_ “I’ll just have to win the next three,”  _ Kakashi said, and Gai grinned.

“I am excited for-”

“Alright, Gai,” Remus called from the other side of the room.

“Thank you, Remus. Anyways, let us begin.” Minerva turned on some slow music and walked over to Kakashi. She took his hand and placed his hand on her hip. “You step around like so. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.”

Kakashi wanted to die. He was dancing with the one person who  _ totally hated his guts  _ and she knew that she was torturing him. He was fast enough that he didn’t stumble, but he had no idea how to properly feel the beat. He just stepped along with the ‘one, two, three, four’ that Minerva was counting out.

“Alright. Now all of you, partner up and let’s see what you can do,” Minerva said.

Kakashi watched as the kids partnered up. Gai had forced them all to attend, and Kakashi was excited to watch them struggle. Naruto took Sasuke by the hand and they ran out to the middle- he had seen them becoming more comfortable with each other lately. They would sometimes hold hands, and he’d even seen Naruto lay his head in Sasuke’s lap. And then Sasuke would sometimes play with Naruto’s hair, which Kakashi thought was  _ absolutely adorable.  _ Sakura let Lee take her by the hand and spin her around. Neji grudgingly followed Tenten out. Gai ran over to Kakashi and took his hand. 

  
“Let us dance, my Rival.”

“No.” Kakashi looked away to hide the fact that he was blushing. 

“Remus!” Gai ran off to the corner, enthusiastically taking Remus by the hand and starting to dance. Kakashi had to laugh at Remus’ startled expression.

“Which of you is leading?” Minerva asked Naruto and Sasuke.

“Neither of us,” Naruto said. 

“Somebody has to lead for the dance to work.”

“We fight as the same person, so we can dance as one, too,” Sasuke said simply, letting go of Naruto.

“What do you mean?” McGonagall asked.

“See over there? Lee is pulling Sakura around.” Naruto pointed to where Lee was, in fact, leading Sakura around the room. “But I can tell where Naruto’s going by his eyes. It’s the same as when we fight- he can tell exactly what I’m going to do, and he goes along with my plans.”

“That was how we managed to beat Zabuza.” Sasuke nodded. “I could see your ideas. I’m surprised he didn’t see it, too. It was quite obvious.”

“C’mon, Sasuke! It was brilliant!”

“Hn.”

“What did you do?” Minerva asked. “In the battle?”

“I don’t really remember,” Naruto said. “I know I put up a good genjutsu and we tricked him into thinking that Sasuke was throwing a big shuriken, but it was really me!”

“You turned into a weapon?”

“Yeah, something like that!”

“How?”

“Genjutsu,” Naruto grinned. “It was pretty simple but it worked on him! We also attacked Haku together! Remember that, Sasuke?”

“Dobe, you just made a bunch of clones and tired him out while I did the real work,” Sasuke said.

“I still helped!”

“Get back to dancing,” McGonagall sighed, walking over to Kakashi. “Your students just told me about how one of them  _ turned into a weapon  _ in battle.”

“Huh?” Kakashi paused. “Oh, he must be talking about our battle against Zabuza. That mission went quite- ah- off course.”

“In what way?”

“There were people after the man we were supposed to be protecting, so we got into lots of fights that were out of the difficulty range for a genin team. In one of our battles against Zabuza, I got captured in a water prison, so I couldn’t move. Naruto and Sasuke really saved my ass back there.” Kakashi smiled as he remembered the teamwork.

“They’re kids. They shouldn’t be worrying about their lives being taken by a crazy man in the woods,” McGonagall hissed.

“You’re right. Tazuna never should have lied to us about the danger he was in. But the past is in the past, and now both of them are dead, so there’s no issue!”

“Dead? You… you killed them?”

“Yeah, why is that a surprise?”

“You’re insane.”

“I know.” Kakashi went back to his book, and McGonagall had to resist the urge to punch the smugly calm look right off of that face.


	28. Chapter 28

“So.” Ginny sat by Sakura on a couch in the common room. “The Yule Ball is coming up, and I’m too young to go.”

“Oh. That sucks.”

“But I heard that if a younger student goes with an eligible one as a date, they can get in…”

“I’m not dancing.”

“What?” Ginny raised an eyebrow.

“Ninjas don’t dance.” Sakura’s words were simple. “We’ll all be there, but we won’t be doing any dancing.”

“Who ever said that, my dearest Sakura?” Lee asked from the corner of the room.

“Lee, you can’t dance. Just admit it. And I’m not your  _ dearest _ .”

“I can dance very well!” Lee argued loudly.

“Well, let’s see it, then,” Ginny said. 

“Come on, my dearest Sakura!” Lee took Sakura by the hand and Ginny cackled as he spun her around. Sakura glared, tripping over her feet with the sheer speed that Lee was moving at.

“I dunno; I think he’s pretty good,” Ginny said, stifling a laugh. “And so are you.”

“Ninjas can dance, Sakura! I have seen Ino dance quite a few times! Gai-sensei also exudes pure youth when he dances with Kakashi-sensei!” Lee said excitedly, letting Sakura go.

“He what?” Ginny shrieked. “Professor Hatake dances with that  _ idiot?” _

“Long story,” Sakura groaned. “And Lee, just because kunoichi had to take those dance lessons, doesn’t mean that any of us enjoyed them or remember them.”

“I believe every kunoichi can remember their lessons! A shinobi must remember everything that they learn!”

“Lee, we all hated those lessons,” Sakura groaned. “Even if we do remember them, most of us really don’t want to.”

_ “I wonder if Kakashi-sensei had to take the kunoichi lessons,”  _ Naruto said in Japanese. 

_ “Naruto! Why on- oh. I… I don’t know. I sure hope not.” _

“What?” Ginny asked. “You know, I would appreciate it if you guys spoke English around me.”

“Just a question we have to ask Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto said, brushing it off.

“No! There is no way in hell you’re asking Kakashi-sensei that!” Sakura yelled, leaping at Naruto and hooking an arm around his throat.

“What’s going on?” Harry asked, walking into the common room. “Sakura, let him go!”

“No! Not until he promises!”

“Promises what?” Harry asks.

“Not to ask-”

“Why would I promise that? It’s just a question!” Naruto choked. Sakura’s grip tightened.

“You’ll kill him!” Ron yelled, running up to the pair.

“Oh, please,” Sasuke scoffed. “Sakura couldn’t kill Naruto if she tried.”

“But I can’t really escape either, teme!” Naruto shouted. It was a wonder that he could still breathe.

“Are you scared?” Sasuke asked with a smirk.

“He should be,” Sakura hissed. “Just tell me you won’t ask-”

She cut off and stiffened. Her arm dropped and she fell to the ground and not a second after, Naruto escaped her grip.

“Ha! I managed to make a shadow clone without even saying anything!” Naruto yelled. Sakura was laying on the ground, and Naruto gave his clone a high-five.

“I can’t stand you, Naruto Uzumaki!” Sakura yelled as she got up.

“A shinobi must constantly be watching every angle,” Naruto yelled.

“What… what just happened?” Harry asked. 

“I made a shadow clone!” Naruto said, resting an arm on his clone’s shoulder. “See? This is Naruto!”

“Yeah! Believe it!” Naruto’s clone punched the air with a grin.

“Your magic is crazy,” Hermione said softly, stepping close to the clone and reaching out. “May I?”

“Yeah! I’m just as real as Naruto!” the clone said. 

“Really?” Hermione took the clone’s arm before taking the real Naruto’s arm and comparing them. “You’re both completely solid…”

“Yep! He’s a shadow clone, so of course he’s completely solid!” Naruto said.

“If you were to do damage to the clone, he would disappear in smoke,” Sasuke said. “So clones aren’t always the most reliable things in battle, but they certainly are useful.”

“And Naruto’s gotten pretty good at creating them,” Sakura admitted.

“Yeah!” Naruto laughed before high-fiving his clone again.

“So… how many can you make at a time?” Hermione asked.

“It depends on how my chakra is on any given day,” Naruto said. “But I can usually make more than a hundred at a time! Wanna see?”

“No,” Neji said. “You idiot, if you do, you’ll crowd the entire room.”

‘But-”

“No.” Neji tossed a knife at the clone, and the clone dodged.

“Ha! I’m not that easy to destroy!” he cackled.

“Yes, you are.” Neji was suddenly behind the clone, punching him and making him disappear in smoke.

***

“I wonder how the students are doing,” Kakashi said. Gai sat on his bed as he graded essays. Remus was at his desk, as usual.

“I am sure they are just fine!” Gai said. “So, Kakashi, that is why I would like to challenge you to a youthful challenge!”

“No.”

“Kakashi, you are really no fun!”

“Gai, no. I don’t want to participate in any challenges.”

“What if it’s a sparring challenge?” Gai asked.

“Maybe later,” Kakashi said. 

“Yes! Lee can watch us! I can show him how the Leaf Hurricane works when it’s done well!” Gai said.

“It won’t work on me anymore,” Kakashi sighed. “I can admit that you are faster than me, but I am stronger and have my Sharingan.”

“That isn’t fair, my Rival! And I am much physically stronger than you!”

“You’re most famous for taijutsu, and I’m most famous for my Sharingan, so it’s fair. The Sharingan can’t track taijutsu.”

“Yes, it can, my Rival! You will be able to see my every move!”

“Remember when Lee fought Gaara? He was too fast for me to see. Don’t tell me your student is faster than  _ you. _ ” Kakashi paused. “I’m called the Copy Ninja for copying ninjutsu, not taijutsu.”

“You’re called what?” Remus asked.

“I just happen to be Rivals with the famous Copy Nin of Konoha!”

“That doesn’t help very much.” Remus’ voice was soft and slightly concerned.

“I use my Sharingan eye to copy an enemy’s jutsus. If I had to guess, I’d say I’ve copied at least a thousand jutsus at this point. I know what people are doing before they even know.”

“That’s… scary,” Remus said, turning back to his essay. 

“I get that sometimes,” Kakashi said.   
  


“Yeah…” Remus went quiet.

“So, my Rival? Do you accept a sparring challenge?”

“After dinner, I’ll meet you outside,” Kakashi sighed. 

“Can I watch?” Remus asked.

“Just stay out of the way,” Kakashi said.

“I am excited for you to watch our hot-blooded rivalry in action!” 

“Huh?” Kakashi turned to Gai. “You said something?”

“Why are you always so cool, my Rival?” Gai asked loudly.

“Hm.” Kakashi left a note at the bottom of Neji’s essay- he’d been making it a habit to sometimes leave notes for his students. Most of them were just to annoy them, but sometimes he’d write something that could actually help them in a way.

_ Please tell your sensei to shut up. Just in general. <3  _

“My Rival! I am not that annoying!” Gai said after reading the note over Kakashi’s shoulder.

_ He’s being very annoying,  _ Kakashi added.

“Kakashi!” Gai took the quill.

“I hate you,” Kakashi sighed as Gai scribbled out the note and wrote his own.

_ You are doing fantastic, Neji! _

  
“There! My students could always use some positivity!” Gai said with a grin.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you guys, I'm thinking about abandoning this piece. You'll definitely be getting the next chapter, and maybe one after that, but I have so much else to write. Trust me, I'll have a bunch of other fics up soon. This one is kinda just fizzling out for me. Thanks for your understanding, and you'll be getting so much more soon, believe it!!!

“My Rival! Let us begin our hot-blooded match!” Gai stood across the field from Kakashi. Remus sat on the side, along with Harry, Hermione, Lee, Sakura, and Naruto.

“C’mon, sensei! Chidori his sorry ass!”

“Naruto, Chidori is meant to kill!” Kakashi called. “I’m not planning on killing-”

Kakashi was cut off by a punch. He leapt out of the way and the fist slid off of his arm instead of going into his chest, but it still startled him.

“Shadow clone jutsu!” Suddenly, there were at least fifty Kakashis, all armed and ready to attack.

“You are forgetting that I, too, can do that, my Rival! Shadow clone jutsu!” About ten Gais appeared.

“Go, sensei!” Lee yelled. “You can do this with your Spirit!”

“Yeah!” Gai went to town. He attacked every clone in sight, each of his clones jumping around and attacking. Eventually, there was only one Kakashi left, and Gai had himself and one clone left.

“Wow,” Kakashi panted. “I’m… out of shape.”

“My Rival, it is okay for you to lose to me!” Gai said, already beginning a new jutsu. “Many people lose to the great Maito Gai!”

“It’s too cold out here to be exercising like that,” Remus said softly. “It’s December!”

“We must train in both the hottest of hot weather and coldest of cold weather,” Lee said. “Gai-sensei can handle it!”

“They’re both going to be impossibly sore tomorrow,” Hermione said. “That is, if they don’t kill each other first.”

“They’ll be fine,” Naruto said. “I mean, one of them might break an arm or something, but they’ll be okay!”

“Those idiots!” Hermione sighed. “How did this ‘hot-blooded rivalry’ even begin?”

“When they were children, Gai-sensei declared Kakashi-sensei to be his eternal rival and stuck to his word!” Lee said. “They have had numerous competitions over the years!”

“One thousand years of death!” Kakashi yelled. It was one of the signature tricks he used on his students. He charged his fingers with chakra and performed the crude jutsu.

“Did he really just-” Remus asked.

“Haha! Gai-sensei, last time I fell for that one, I was twelve years old!” Naruto yelled.

“He did that to you when you were twelve?” Remus asked.

“He launched me, like, a million feet in the air!” Naruto said. “It was a really long time ago, though.”

“That’s not okay,” Hermione said. “That’s… really creepy.”

“Oh, he doesn’t do it in that way,” Naruto said, a look of horror crossing his face. “I mean, I’ve used it before. It doesn’t usually work too well. But when they’re sparring, they can test out different jutsus to see what works and what doesn’t.”

“I have got you, my Rival!” Gai yelled, running at Kakashi, who was falling towards the ground, with a knife.

“He’s gonna die!” Hermione said, standing and pulling out her wand. “Expelli-”

“Watch,” Naruto whispered, placing a hand over her mouth. When the dust cleared, it was clear that it had been a giant log that had hit the ground and been littered with knife marks- not Kakashi.

“What?” Hermione looked.

“Ha! I should have expected my Rival to use a Substitution jutsu!” Gai yelled. “Now where-”

Gai cried out as shuriken flew at him from above. He dove out of the way, catching a few as he ran. Once Kakashi landed, Gai took the opportunity to leap towards his Rival and tackle him. Kakashi laughed as Gai put a knife to his throat. 

“Rival?” Gai raised an eyebrow. Kakashi disappeared in smoke and Gai spun around to see the real Kakashi coming at him with a knife. Gai rolled out of the way and got to his feet, attacking Kakashi. This time, the real Kakashi got pinned. Gai sat on his chest- Kakashi’s eyes widened and he groaned slightly with the pain- and pressed a hand to his throat. Remus was more than ready to cover his students’ eyes if needed, but he leaned forward to see what was happening. Kakashi tried to struggle, but his oxygen was cut off and he eventually passed out under Gai. Gai stood back up.

“I have won, my Rival!” he yelled. Kakashi opened his eyes again, sitting up and sucking air in as Gai celebrated.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kakashi took the hand Gai offered him to stand. “I have to get back to training every day.”

“Can you breathe, my Rival?” Gai wrapped an arm around Kakashi’s waist, suddenly worried as his Rival coughed.

“Yes, Gai, don’t worry about me.” Kakashi pushed Gai away and limped over to Remus and the students.

“Kakashi, are you okay?” Remus immediately ran over to Kakashi and wrapped an arm around him to help hold him up.

“I’m fine, Remus.” Kakashi shoved him away. “Gai just beat me, is all.”

“Can you walk?” Hermione asked, noticing the way Kakashi’s breath was still labored and coming in short puffs.

“Yes, Hermione. I am fi- hey!” his voice climbed a few octaves as Gai took him by the waist and pulled him into a tight hug.

“My Rival! That is yet another win for me!”

“Whatever.” Kakashi pulled away from Gai, leaning out of his embrace. Gai didn’t let go. He never did.

“Kakashi, the dance is in two days. You can’t be injured for it,” Remus sighed.

“It’s not like I’m gonna dance,” Kakashi said. 

“My Rival, of course you’ll dance!” Gai squeezed Kakashi one more time before letting him go.

“Nope.” Kakashi leapt into the air to escape the conversation, leaving everyone standing there.

“Sensei, we’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t run away from every conversation!” Sakura groaned, leaping away to follow him.

“What are they-” Remus watched as Sakura seemed to just disappear.

“They’re leaving,” Naruto said simply. 

***

“So, the dance is tomorrow,” Ginny said the next morning as they got ready for the day.

“I’m still not dancing,” Sakura said. All of the ninjas had agreed to pretend that they were going to the dance with each other. Tenten was going with Neji, Sasuke with Naruto, and Lee was very excited to have been left with Sakura.

“Neji and Tenten are going together. And aren’t Naruto and Sasuke going? And your teachers?”

“I don’t dance,” Sakura insisted.

“Okay. Suit yourself.”

“Happy Christmas Eve!” Ron yelled as he barrelled down the stairs.

“Happy- huh?” Sakura looked at him, utter bewilderment on her face.

“You know, tomorrow’s Christmas! Only the best time of year! When everyone decorates and gets presents?”

“Wait, is that why the entire castle’s been decked out in trees and stuff?” Sakura asked.

“Of course! Do you not celebrate Christmas?” Ron asked.

“No,” Sakura said. She was confused. Wait, that’s an understatement. She was completely and utterly baffled. Perplexed. Bamboozled, if you will.

“Whatever. We have to get to class,” Ginny huffed.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I'd let the last chapter for a while go a bit longer <3

“Merry Christmas!” Ron yelled as he sat up. He woke up everyone who wasn’t already awake with his shout.

“Be quiet,” Sasuke groaned. 

“Merry Christmas.” Kakashi was at the window, somehow having opened it. “Remus told me all about it. Seems like an odd tradition, if you ask me.”

“Sensei! Shut the window, it’s getting cold in here,” Naruto said, pulling the blankets around his body.

“The hell are you doing here?” Ron asked.

_ “Get dressed. After breakfast, we’re practicing the Patronus charm, as Remus insists.”  _ Kakashi ignored Ron and turned to his student.

_ “But I can do it!”  _ Naruto groaned.

_ “Naruto, you can make a silver wisp. We need everyone to be able to use their means of battle to keep the dementors away.” _

_ “Is Gai-sensei meeting us?”  _ Lee asked.

_ “Yeah. Tell Sakura and Tenten at breakfast.” _

_ “What?”  _ Neji sat up, yawning.  _ “Why do we have to practice? What’re we practicing?”  _

_ “Neji, did you just wake up?”  _ Naruto cackled.

“Yes, you idiot.” Neji yawned and stretched.

“Wow, you’re a really heavy sleeper,” Naruto said.

“I will literally throw you out that window and not regret one inch you fall.” Neji’s Byakugan activated for a second before deactivating. It was a habit he’d been taught since he was little; make sure both of his eyes were still there and working properly every morning. It was also good to know if anyone new had somehow gotten into the room.

“Bloody hell, what was that?” Ron asked. “That thing with your eyes? It’s so weird!”

“It’s a family trait,” Neji said, pulling on a shirt. 

“That’s weird, man!”

“You already said that.”

***

“Sensei, why do we have to work on this Patronus charm?” Naruto groaned. “It’s  _ so easy  _ to just get away! I read somewhere that they move  _ really  _ slowly! Like, they barely go at all!”

“Remus wants me to make you guys learn them. You six were the only ones that couldn’t do it, if I’m remembering correctly.”

“Fine,” Naruto groaned. “Expecto Patronum!”

By the end of the three hours they had between breakfast and lunch, everyone had started trying to put chakra into their wands to make the Patronus. Sakura, Gai, Naruto, and Tenten had made fully formed Patronuses. Lee had been having far too much trouble with magic in general, so it was to be expected. But Kakashi, Neji, Naruto, and Sasuke had all been able to use magic relatively easily, manipulating it without too much issue. They all went back inside to lunch, trying to figure out why the three ninjas with the most chakra couldn’t make Patronuses.

“Kakashi still can’t produce a Patronus,” Gai told Remus.

“That’s a problem.” Remus looked at Kakashi.

“Neither can half of our students,” Kakashi said.

“Perhaps none of you… can,” Dumbledore said softly.

“Which three can’t?” Remus asked.

“Neji, Sasuke, and Lee.”

“Ah. Lee doesn’t have much of an affinity for magic, does he?” Dumbledore asked. “But the other two boys don’t know how to see the light. You must be able to see the light and focus on happiness to create a Patronus.”

There was a twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes as he looked at Kakashi over his glasses. He knew that the man also meant for him to take his words into consideration.

“It’s hard to focus on the good when there isn’t much to begin with,” McGonagall said.

“What do you mean?” Dumbledore asked.

“I found a recent book on ‘ninjas,’” McGonagall said. Kakashi remembered his students telling him about how Hermione had found it. “Sasuke is an Uchiha, correct?”

“Are you sure talking about the massacre is the best mealtime discussion?” Kakashi said, his tone far too light and casual for the topic.

“Oh, of course not. And Neji is a Hyuga branch family member, yes?”

“Minerva, we don’t need to discuss this. Maybe some of our students can’t perform Patronus Charms. That’s normal, is it not?”

“No! Of course, it’s difficult, but most wizards should be able to create one! And we certainly should not have  _ students  _ so genuinely upset with life that they can’t produce one.”

“But Minerva!” Gai said enthusiastically, worry coating his words. “Neji and Sasuke are okay! And Kakashi cannot perform the charm either! They are all still content with their lives as shinobi!”

“But you need enough happy memories to focus on,” Remus started, “to create the Patronus. You have to have times that you can think of when you were genuinely and completely happy. Being unable to create a Patronus means that you don’t have those.”

“And what of it?” Kakashi asked. 

“It’s just…” Minerva sighed. “I know that things are different where you guys are from, but everybody deserves a bit of happiness.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Kakashi scoffed.

‘My Rival!” Gai hit Kakashi’s arm. “Everybody deserves happiness!”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Minerva asked.

“Because some people aren’t good. We’ve come to accept that. Now, why don’t you respect it?”

“What do you mean, ‘aren’t good?’” Remus asked. “I believe that everyone is born good, but life sometimes turns them to the- ah- dark side. They still deserve happiness, though.”

“I see.” Kakashi looked down into his glass. “But some people are irredeemable after what they have done.”

“Like who?” Minerva asked.

“Orochimaru. One of the three legendary sannin, he is insane beyond repair and has killed hundreds in cold blood. Itachi Uchiha, who you certainly know of. Zabuza Momochi, a mercenary who only cared about money and enslaved a child to help him fight. I have encountered all three of them personally, and they deserve nothing better than a painful death.” Kakashi wasn’t usually one to be spiteful, but he was proving a point to Minerva. He stared deep into her eyes, searching her soul.

“Kakashi,” Gai said softly, “watch what you’re saying.”

“Gai, I know what I’m saying. They’re all insane, and if you believe anything other than that, you are, too.” Gai looked into Kakashi’s eyes and saw an anger that rarely came out. He realized that provoking him would probably be a bad idea. He knew that Kakashi was only a few steps away from unleashing some of the anger he was feeling.

_ “My Rival, don’t make them hate us. We want them to hire nin from Konoha again.” _

_ “Do we?” _

***

“Do we really have to wear these dress robes?” Naruto groaned, holding the brown robes up.

“I’m not,” Sasuke said, changing into his everyday clothes from the Hogwarts robes. “We can tell them that this is formal in Konoha.”

“Oh, yeah! Makes sense!” Naruto pulled his regular jumpsuit on and went down to the common room, where all of the other ninjas were already waiting for them.

“Naruto, your hair is such a mess!” Sakura sighed, standing behind the blonde and pressing his hair down.

“Hey! My hair looks fine!” Naruto shook his head and escaped his teammate’s grip. “Let’s just get down to the dance already!”

“Sakura, I will be the best dance partner you have ever-”

“Lee, we’re not dancing,” Sakura groaned.

***

Sasuke watched as the Champions made their way across the floor with their dance partners. Fleur was the only one that looked content on the dance floor, her movements fluidly graceful. He jumped when Naruto took his hand.

“C’mon, Sasuke! We can dance, too!” 

“Naruto, I’m not dancing.” Sasuke let Naruto hold his hand, but refused to get up.

“Fine! I’ll go get someone else to dance with me, then!” Naruto jokingly stormed off, sticking his tongue out at Sasuke as he ran off.

“Hello, Sasuke.” A Slytherin girl sauntered over to him. 

“Hi.” 

“Would you like to dance?” She leaned towards him and put a hand out.

“No.”

“You’re sure?” She leaned back and ran a hand through her hair, smirking.

“Yep.”

***

Kakashi watched as three different fourth-year Slytherin girls asked Sasuke to dance. He calmly rejected all of them, and they each tried to convince him in different ways. He was ready to step in when a very pretty seventh-year came over and tried to convince him to dance. But Sasuke scrunched up his nose and rejected her, too.

“Maybe he’s gay,” one of the Slytherin girls whispered. Kakashi could pick it up- he was close enough to hear the group talking. He had also fed some chakra to his ears to pick up their conversation.

“Probably,” another said. “Hey! Draco! Come over here!”

“Yes?” Kakashi hated that kid. He was one of those rich kids who slicked back their hair and wore far too much cologne. The kid had also insulted Kakashi on multiple occasions, calling him ‘mudblood’ quite a few times.

“You see Sasuke Uchiha? The kid in blue?” one of the Slytherin girls asked softly.

“Mhm.”

“We need you to ask him to dance.”

Kakashi leaned back and smirked, ready to watch the show.

“Oi! Uchiha!” Draco walked up to Sasuke with a lazy grin on his face.

“Yeah? What do you want?”

“A dance.” Draco put his hand out, expecting Sasuke to take it. Sasuke stared at it.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Take my hand.”

“Oh.” Sasuke pulled out a kunai, and Kakashi realized that he might actually cut the guy’s hand off if he didn’t intervene. But before he moved, Draco screamed and ran back to the other Slytherins, hiding behind Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

“Sasuke, you idiot!” Naruto cackled as he walked back over. “You can’t just threaten to cut off his hand!”

“Professor!” Draco ran up to Kakashi, almost crying.

“Yes, Draco? You don’t need to yell, I’m right here.”

“Did you see what your student tried to do to me? He- if I hadn’t ran away, he would have cut off my hand!”

“No, he wouldn’t have. Sasuke is intimidating sometimes, but he’s not dumb. He would never take a limb for no good reason.”

“But he- he- did you see him take out that  _ knife?”  _ Draco’s voice was high-pitched with fear.

“It’s called a kunai, and yes, I did.” Kakashi turned the page in his book.

“Hey! Put- put that book down! I’ll write home and tell my father that your student tried to cut off my hand! You’ll be fired in an instant! You know of his position in the Ministry, right?”

“Of course I do. But you must remember, my students and I are not governed by your Ministry.” Kakashi closed his book. “So I really don’t care.”

“Then we’ll have to- to- to get your student… exterminated or something! The Aurors will properly deal with him!”

“That won’t work,” Kakashi scoffed. “Sasuke’s stronger than any Auror you can send after him. Now go back to dancing before I personally send you into the lake.”

“But-”

“It’s not worth it,” Crabbe whispered to Draco. Draco glared at Kakashi one last time before walking off with the kid.

***

“C’mon, Sasuke,” Naruto said softly, dragging Sasuke up the stairs to the dormitory. Sasuke followed close behind, smirking.

“That takes care of them,” Tenten said dryly. “How did you guys like the dance? Did you see anything we should look into?”

“It was fine,” Sakura said. “I didn’t really see anything weird, though.”

“That Karkaroff guy freaks me out,” Neji said. “Same with Moody. The stuff in his flask definitely isn’t water, too. I want to know what that’s about.”

“Mhm. Something’s off about that guy,” Lee said. “What even is that Moody guy doing here? He isn’t a teacher and certainly isn’t a student.”

“He’s an Auror,” Sakura said. “He’s also here to protect the castle.”

“I saw some people watching Kakashi,” Tenten said. “And it wasn’t like they were staring and, like, attracted to him or anything, like that weird Maxime woman. They looked like they wanted to kill him.”

“That’s very bad,” Lee said.

“Yeah,” Sakura agreed. 

“We’ll have to look into them later,” Neji said.

***

“You’re a good dancer,” Kakashi said with the smallest of smirks. The dance was finally over, and they were walking into their shared room, one of Remus’ arms lazily sitting on Kakashi’s shoulders.

“No, I’m really not,” Remus laughed, his cheeks tinged slightly red with alcohol.

“I mean, you were drinking, so that likely had something to do with it,” Kakashi said. He knew of the ways alcohol could boost one’s confidence.

“And?” Remus smirked, standing and pushing Kakashi into the wall. 

“Remus, you’re drunk. Very.” Kakashi placed a hand on his chest but didn’t push him away.

“Maybe that was on purpose.” Remus traced a finger over Kakashi’s mask, pinching at the fabric.

“Stop.” Kakashi pushed his hand away. 

“You should take everything but that mask off,” Remus said boldly. “Then I’ll take the mask myself.”

“I’m not going to,” Kakashi said, pushing Remus away. In a single fluid movement, he’d pushed the teacher onto his bed and subdued him, tucking him into the blankets. “Good night, you beautiful idiot.”

“Night, Kashi.” Kakashi jumped. He’d thought that Remus was asleep! 

“Yeah,” Kakashi sighed, patting Remus’ head and walking to his own bed.

**Author's Note:**

> How was it?


End file.
